Master Aiden BDSM

Of Myths and Mortals at the Leather Archives & Museum in Chicago

2012-01-31T08:13:00.000-08:00

A new display at the Leather Museum:

Of Myths and Mortals

Of Myth and Mortal focuses on legendary myths borrowed from Greek, Celtic, Egyptian and Christian mythologies. Among the statues on view are Cernunnos, the horned Celtic god of fertility, Anubis, the Egyptian god of the dead, Prometheus, the Greek god of fire, Thor the Norse god of thunder, The Black Knight from medieval lore, and Jesus, central figure of Christianity. A selection of torsos, reminiscent of classical ruins, are also on view. The pieces created with concrete, steel, and fiberglass, start with multiple cast impressions from live models.

Of Myth and Mortal also showcases limited edition prints, signed by the artist, many of which are featured in his book Dark Impressions, The Art of Philip Hitchcock. The images are signed and numbered archival digital prints at 16 x 20” which are framed to 22 x 28.

About the Artist:

PHD Gallery owner Philip Hitchcock has challenged people with his art for over 20 years. His life-size “Christ Embracing the Cross” is part of the permanent collection at Saint Louis University Museum of Art (SLUMA) and he recently completed the portrait bust of Dr. Richard Chaifetz on permanent display at The Chaifetz Arena in St. Louis.

His works have been featured in solo and group exhibits and are in collections such as Leslie-Lohman Foundation, New York, NY; Saint Louis University Museum of Art (SLUMA); Mark Taper Family/Mark Taper Forum, Los Angeles, CA; Henry Jewelry, Hong Kong; Barbie Benton, Aspen, CO; and Michele Rodriguez, Cagliari, Italy.

The show goes from January 27th 2012 through June 30th 2012.

The Leather Archives & Museum is dedicated to the preservation of and access to fetish history and culture.

Its eight exhibition spaces are open to the public Thursday and Friday 11am to 7pm and Saturday and Sunday 11am to 5pm.

The Leather Archives & Museum

6418 N Greenview Ave

Chicago, IL 60626

The G.A.G. Contemporary Fetish Gallery at the LA&M features works by renowned and emerging fetish artists from around the world. Curator Chester Munro assembles erotic exhibitions that entice and inspire all patrons from hardcore fetish enthusiasts to the tourist voyeur.

http://www.leatherarchives.org/

http://www.hitchcockdesigns.com/

Yes, Master (entry 49): Boot Force

2012-01-29T19:57:00.000-08:00

What is up with the boots?

Whether a perv is straight, gay, or anywhere inbetween, the fetishization of BOOTS holds a prominent place within the kink canon.

Why is that?

Although not all S&Mer's get mezmerized by the leather and the seams, it's obvious that the heavy sculptures on our feet are typical points of attention and worship. Not only do I appreciate most fetishes because they're fetishes--I am obsessed by the concept/meaning of obsessions....is that a fetish?--but I like attempting to gain a general understanding as to WHY certain things mark themselves, brand-like, upon an individual's libido.

Can I, or anyone else, gain a full, 100% grip on understanding a fetish? Nah.

Too many people with too many reasons for having a fetish. An infinite number of personal histories, experiences, exposures, and combinations of those mean that pinpointing a certain formula for any fetish is futile. But that doesn't mean that I won't bother to get a few general nuggets of information. And if I'm a glutton for anything, it's for entertaining and insightful information.

So, how come boots are so special?

Boots hold facist implications. They hint at order, discipline, hardness, tradition, authority. Black leather, for example, holds a duel meaning now in our culture: it's threatening, sinister, subversive; it can also mean protection. Leather, if you didn't know, is an ancient absolute texture that's been fetishized for centuries. The smell, the feel, the look all mean seriousness with a whiff of the forbidden (secret ideas and serious purposes, unseemly desires). Rubber, vinyl, and plastic look and feel completely different, redefining what boots are and what boot fetishization can be defined as. Leather, at it's base, is natural and serves as a second skin. Rubber (although it comes from trees), vinyl, and plastic are, when worn, symbols of fabrication and the artificial--these are not extentions of ourselves or the natural world as we immediately know it. To have those materials visable on our lower limbs implies nowness or futurism while giving the wearer a particular androidal or robotic appearance (see "Bladerunner", "The Matrix", the "Underworld" films, etc.).

Looking at someone's boots can tell us a few things about them, whether they tend to be traditional, forward-thinking, or a combination of both. Where is their head at? It may help to look at their feet. What are they willing to tell us about themselves? What information are they sharing with the outside world? How do they imagine/envision themselves?

Boots, despite their links to fascism, power, and anonymity, transform the body in an individual way. Foot fetishists are often boot fetishists for obvious reasons. The feet are transformed as are the legs--boots have a tendancy to harden our appearances. We become reshaped. Everyone looks improved in boots and, when we wear them, we all look great in completely different ways. They become extentions of ourselves and carry our unique histories and body secretions along with them (google, also, underwear fetishization; same difference).

Where have you visited? How busy have you been? Do you have a tendency to hold onto things? The soles of their boots will tell you.

Who are you? What do you do? What size are you? What are you made of, chemically?

The inside and the outside of boots tell us plenty of information no matter how anonymous or how inhuman the design and material may be.

Boots are a perfect and powerful armour but, also, give up plenty of intimate personal details if the worshipper investigates. The fact that they tend to be aesthetically beautiful clearly adds to their appeal. The powerful natural/unnatural materials that boots are made of, along with their often threatening looking designs, turn bodywear/footwear into works of art to be admired, adored, threatened with (boots can stomp you, kick you, smash you, etc.), and humilated with. "Kiss my boots, slave!" How many times have we seen this in over-the-top action, scifi, and fantasy films, comics, fairy tales, books? It means the absolute subjugation of a submissive to some sort of wicked or dominant power figure. No wonder this is such a typical BDSM activity.... Not only do boots have to do with foot worship but they also carry a culturally traditional sign of dominance. Yet boots are a part of uniforms--they can mean bondage to an idea or institution which is why we seen them worn by submissives as well as dominants. Boots can be formal and ALWAYS point at purpose whether that purpose is to follow orders or to make commandments.

I believe that the foundation of boot fetishization stems from the duality of an anonymous armour and design concept sharing space with the highly personal (the fetishization of particular materials such as leather, vinyl, rubber, etc. is a whole different subject that I'll dip into further on another writing later on). Boots transform us based on the visual ideas and materials of others while also sharing our individual secrets, purposes, and chemistries.

Boots are the perfect example of S&M wear because they are both extremely guarding/constricting and, in their own way, incredibly revealing.

An Atypical Monday Evening If There Ever Was One....

2012-01-29T18:45:00.000-08:00

This is why I love Chicago.

Even on a cold, random February Monday, you can find something completely great, strange, and kinky to do.....

The Carnival of Curiosity & Chaos

“Chapter 4 Celebration”

Greenhouse Theater Center
2257 N Lincoln Ave
Chicago IL 60614

Monday, February 20, 2012
8:00 PM –10:00 PM

$20 at the door
...........................

Artist Tom Hill & Company Proudly Present

The Carnival of Curiosity & Chaos: Chapter 4 Celebration.

a Tantalizing Spectacle featuring acts by:

TOM HILL

AMMUNITION

JEFFREY PRESSLEY

ERIC GREEN

SULTRY SUSAN

ROSEMARY

JENI & NORA

They are prodigies of physicalphen...omena and great presentation of marvelous living human curiosities. Come CELEBRATE with us at this 2 hour long FREAK SHOW.

The freaks display their acts for peoples' unquenchable curiosity forthe outlandish and the unknown. Witness these human attractions for yourself, you will not see anythng like this. The DANGERS are real therefore this is not for the faint of heart and it is an 18 and older show. Throughout the show audience members will be given opportunities to assist with the freak performers, talk about an up-close experience. Show starts promptly at 8:00pm

Bi The Way.....

2012-01-17T12:35:00.000-08:00

This should appeal to plenty of you....

Binary: "Bisexual Night For All"

Thursday, January 19, 2012

10:00 PM – 4:00 AM

Hydrate Nightclub

3458 N. Halsted St.

Chicago, IL 60657

Door Cover: $5

21+ With ID

Dress code: Sexy, Risque, Flirtatious, Powerful, and Fun... But Always Legal.

StereoKiller Productions presents Binary, A Bisexual night for everyone. Whether you are single or coupled, bi, gay, straight, poly or queer; out and proud or quietly supportive, looking for friends or out on the prowl or simply looking for a fun night out - Binary is for YOU! No judgments, no criticisms, and no limitations; Binary is the event that Chicago has been begging for. Binary is so much more than a simple club night.

The movement continues Thursday, January 19th. Join us at Hydrate Nightclub at 10 O’clock for a cocktail or two in our lounge area to make some new friends, listen to DJ's, or move on back into the club to begin a nightlife experience the likes of which Boystown, nor the rest of Chicago, has never seen. Witness as SKP transforms Hydrate into an erotic Carnival of wonders. Feast your eyes on the hottest male and female bodies our city has to offer as the Angels of Ecstasy writhe the night away on the dance floor for your viewing pleasure.

Yes, Master (entry 48): Great Expectations

2012-01-17T12:01:00.000-08:00

The bondage world takes us into all sorts of interesting places.

As one of my buddies just found out for themselves, what we expect (and hope for) is not always what we end up getting.

Before joining a dungeon (getting a membership, etc.) or hooking up with/hiring a Dom or a sub, it never hurts to see what it is exactly that you're diving into.

No one wants to waste money or time. No one wants their evening or weekend to be a letdown.

If you're joining a dungeon club or plan on spending time/$ on any kink establishment, make sure that you take a spin around their St. Andrew's Cross before forking over your dough. The strong places don't hestitate to show off their goods and answer questions.

The same goes for nabbing a play partner. Ask questions, visit, and/or hang out for a while before jumping into a scene. Faulty communication is inexcusable. If they sound drunk, stoned, or just plain dim, take that as a red flag and run for the hills. There are definitely other fish in the sea. Unfortunately, bad/lame experiences can turn some people off, permanently, from BDSM which doesn't help our community as a whole. We need all the good enthusiasts that we can get.

As with most other things in life, if you're gonna do it, do it right. And make sure that whatever establishment and/or play partner that you're aligning yourself with understands what you're hoping for and expecting.

Less and More

2012-01-05T08:50:00.000-08:00

I'm in the mood for streamlining things a bit. Maybe you're feeling the same?

I had a conversation a couple of days ago with my best friend and we were discussing how everything can be overcomplicated nowadays--overlinked, overfilled, too much information, too much bullshit, too much paperwork, too much of too much to an unnecessary degree. It makes people sick of each other, right?

Well, I'll still be doing my updates, photos, and writings as usual. You can put that into the "More" column. But I want to edit myself further, be increasingly direct and, hopefully, make the material on here more interesting, quick, and acidic.

I'm not interested in making people jump through hoops and read loads of information. It's boring and unnecessary. That's what I mean by "Less".

I'm a pro Dom, I love it, I work within a framework of rules so that I can keep on being a pro Dom and loving it. I think that those rules are clearly outlined on here. There's nothing more to say when it comes to that subject.

I'm REALLY looking forward to the Spring 2012 photoshoot. I did the outline and "storyboard" for it yesterday. It's fun, sexy, a bit vicious, and will provide a few ingredients that I feel are needed on here, visually. More. And, when it comes to increases, our torment activity options are wider (new gear, toys, etc.) and now our location options (my dungeon, your place, dungeon clubs, play parties, you name it) are more numerous. Options for those of you who are very private as well as those of you who are more adventurous. And those of you who are inbetween.

Less: This blog is being refined and slimmed down to make things simpler and more enjoyable not only for you established slaves but also for my new clients. Some of the resources have been updated since the BDSM world seems to change a lot.

I'm definitely looking forward to 2012 and spending much of it tormenting you people. More.

The Joy of Giving

2011-12-18T00:28:00.001-08:00

Happy Holidays!

XO,

Master Aiden

See You Next Year!

2011-12-17T23:18:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm glad that you guys were relatively creeped out by the Sleeping Beauty photoshoot! Good--Mission Accomplished! What surprises me is how much ladies seem to have liked it.....I wasn't sure but.....maybe I should have predicted that? Who knows.....You all, you guys and girls, are pretty unpredictable sometimes so I can never completely anticipate what will you'll be into, photo-wise.

My goal, overall, is to do a very wide range of fetish themes/tones/acts not only to create more images for my website and blog, and for session advertisment purposes of course, but also to explore how fetish and BDSM can be interpreted and presented in both traditional and unexpected ways.

I like to take chances and try weird projects, basically. Sometimes just for the sake of doing it.

The new photoshoot coming up in Spring 2012 will be extremely different from this past Sleeping Beauty one (Sleeping Beauty will be the "softest" shoot that I'll ever do, let's face it); for the next one I'm thinking rough, gritty, etc. A bit dirty, a bit nasty.....Master on male slave. But still cool and different. I already have it planned out and it should be pretty rad.

The Sleeping Beauty shoot was "pretty" while also being fucking creepy at the same time. I REALLY love that combination--I like making people uncomfortable--to push that queasy, unnerving WTF? feeling. The photography has oomph but retained the old-fashioned style that I wanted from it. There's lots of good stuff going on there, technically. Now that I did a shoot like that, it means that I have to up the ante for the upcoming photoshoots. Strong and artful lighting, moody as all get out, the whole nine yards. Not so much costumes and sets and all that but.....creating a solid mood, vibe. A BDSM fantasyland with good compositions, props, gear, clothes (or lack thereof), settings, etc.

You'll see what I mean.....I'm certain that you guys (and gals) are REALLY going to enjoy the Spring 2012 shoot. But that's still a few months away so let's jump back to the present.....

I'm moving to my new Chicago location right now. To say that you slaves are going to love it is an understatement. The building and rooms sort of reminds me of the original Salon de Libertine in a way (do you guys remember that place? I kind of missed it--R.I.P. Salon de Libertine) but my new dungeon is in a nice, safe, energetic Chi Town neighborhood in Portage Park right near Six Corners--it's rehabbed Art Deco, beautiful, and fun.

PLUS!:

You have the option of joining me at dungeon clubs on the weekends if you'd like (some of you slaves have enjoyed this so far, the rest of you need to get on it as long as you're comfortable submitting in a dungeon club setting). Those clubs are amazing--great gear sets and atmospheres. You should join me.

And, of course, for many of you I do Outcall where I go to your place. As usual.

So all the options are there plus new ones. Lots of options, lots to do.

I'm always a very busy Master (those of you who know me well are quite already aware of that) and, at the moment, I'm even more busy than ever because of the move and because the holidays have a way of making us all submissive bitches no matter who we are. The end of December beats us all down.

I'm signing off for a week or so until the first week of January 2012 when the new dungeon space will be up and ready for you, all your dungeon options are there, and we can schedule sessions as much as we damn well please!

So behave yourselves and don't drink too much eggnog!

Holiday Gallery 2011

2011-12-15T23:24:00.000-08:00

Sleeping Beauty.

I wanted to do something inspired by A. N. Roquelaure 's (aka Anne Rice) Sleeping Beauty Trilogy. If you haven't read them yet (I'm guessing that most of the people reading this blog already have read these books.....), be sure to order them off of Amazon. The Trilogy is a bondage and discipline classic!

I also wanted to do something completely DIFFERENT so I thought that I'd create a very Grimm photo shoot for Christmas.

Sleeping Beauty is the perfect metaphor for awakening and enlightenment whether it's sexual, emotional, spiritual, or psychological. As a bondage icon, the signifigance of this folktale is brutally obvious.

Anne Rice, Italian and Scandinavian horror films, catholic panic, tombs, saints, wax figures, dolls, Russian fantasy movies, treasures, bisexuality, disguises, manipulation, desire, fairy tales, the supernatural, etc., etc., etc. all went into this strange, experimental Renaissance/Victorian/Postmodern aesthetic.

I said "Let's do something really creepy, queasy, cool, and fucked-up" so my friend/muse/model Abra K. Dabra joined me and here are the results which, we agreed, would be what happened if Sophia Coppola got really stoned and bored and had her dad fund a remake of "The Exorcist" for her.

I like this shoot. It's definitely not typical fetish photography, that's for sure, and that's the point. I loved working with a female sub model--I'll have to do that again, definitely. It was a HOT shoot--all those lights and candles, holy smoke, if it looks like we were in Hell then that's what it felt like in there. Abra K. did a great job and put up with that weird mask for a long time and I was exhausted afterward. Not an easy shoot but, clearly, it was worth it.

And now I'm very excited that this Shakespearen-flavored fuckery is over with so that I can go get a haircut in Boystown. I've got my appointment for tomorrow.

Pleasure Salon

2011-12-15T23:03:00.000-08:00

Make Pleasure Salon a new ritual in 2012.....

PLEASURE SALON at VILLIANS

First Tuesdays of Every Month

6:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m.

"The Chicago Pleasure Salon has been Chicago's monthly sex-positive meet and greet since April 2009.

Modeled on New York's Pleasure Salon, A Gathering of Sex-Positive Activists, we want to build networks among all kinds of sex-positive people and create an open exchange of ideas about sex.

Newcomers are encouraged to attend and we strive for openness, honesty, and tolerance among participants. All are welcome. The Salon's original hosts, Clarisse Thorn, founder of the Sex-Positive Film Festival, and Serpent Libertine, organizer with SWOP-Chicago, came together with several other members of the various sex-positive communities in Chicago including BDSM, swinger, Poly, sex worker, LGBTQ, and various other communities to create a pansexual gathering unlike any other in Chicago.

Chicago Pleasure Salon meets every first Tuesday of every month from 6-10pm at Villians Bar in the South Loop neighborhood.

Please join us if you are:

+ a sexuality activist
+ a sex worker
+ a pornographer
+ LGBTQ
+ BDSM
+ a swinger
+ a polyamory practitioner
+ a tantric practitioner
+ a sex educator
+ a free speech advocate
+ a progressive pastor
+ an AIDS worker
+ a radical feminist
+ a student
+ not at all studious
+ skeptical about our politics and aims
+ or just someone who likes talking about sex!

Help us create a more sex-positive world!"

PLEASURE SALON

First Tuesdays of Every Month
6pm-10pm

Villians Bar
649 S. Clark St.
Chicago, IL 60605

Yes, Master (entry 47): Dungeon Etiquette

2011-11-01T09:11:00.000-07:00

This is the newest article for my "Yes, Master" column that appears on The New Gay website. Visit The New Gay to read some of my other entries (simply enter "Master Aiden or "Yes Master" into the search feature) as well as additional insightful columnists and writings focused on progressive and LGBT-related interests.

http://thenewgay.net/
..............

I visited a dungeon that is new to me this weekend and it got me to thinking about the basics of dungeon etiquette, especially a dungeon that isn't yours. Every dungeon is different and, within each dungeon, there's its own mini-culture, vibe, do's, and dont's. Here are 10 tips that are useful to think about and are generally applicable to visiting and playing within a BDSM dungeon or playspace:

1.) Don't walk in like you own the place, whether you're a Dom or a sub. Chances are there is already an established group of cliques and hierarchies that you'll need to subtly merge into or slide through in some capacity. Be respectful, humble, and take a light approach. Acting as though you're the Second Coming and that everyone should be thrilled that you're there is a surefire way of irritating people. Ease your presence in. This is especially true in a place like my city, Chicago, where the scene is big but there is that small town element in the sense that everyone sort of knows or knows of everyone else. The scene is welcoming here but can be prickly sometimes. Be cool, be nice, and always use the When In Rome approach.

2.) Don't ever intrude on other peoples' scenes.

3.) Do you see someone you like or want to talk to? If you're going to make contact with them, feel out the vibe first before you approach and be sure that they're not "owned" by some other Master or Mistress before hitting on them or making a possibly regretful/embarassing request. Dungeons are not singles' bars. Not even close.

4.) Which brings me to this point: Most people, when going to a dungeon, bring a play partner with them. It's entirely possible that you'll meet some new people to play with at the dungeon but don't count on it. You're responsible for creating your own entertainment.

5.) Always clean off a piece of equiptment after you've finished using it. There will probably be a spray bottle and paper towels near by. Most gyms, as a matter of fact, have this same policy.

6.) Yes, it's a BDSM dungeon so, yes, there will be some noise that is naturally being created. You'll hear spanking sounds, moans, and whips cracking. But don't go too over-the-top to the point where your audio output is adding a layer onto the playtime of others. Screaming Girl, I'm talking to you.

7.) If someone is using a piece of equiptment that you want to use, don't stand there huffing and staring as though you're waiting outside of a port-a-john. Go do something else and use a different piece of equiptment until the others have finished their scene.

8.) Don't spread your gear all over the place. Keep your stuff within a small area and don't be a slob. No one wants their Dominatrix tripping over your rope bundle or accidentally kicking your dildos around.

9.) If you're a BDSM play smarty-pants, don't feel entitled to be strolling around and giving out your jewels of wisdom to others. Unless someone is engaging in dangerous play, let those kinksters discover for themselves what techniques suit them and what, for them, is fun or not fun.

10.) I, personally, like to visit a dungeon first before actually playing in it. But that's just me. Every dungeon has it's own vibe, personality, culture, assortment of equiptment, and resident players. I like being able to get the lay of the land before setting up a tent. At this point I feel comfortable about going into new places but, for many of you, there can be a nervousness about those new places which is completely understandable. That anxiety can actually stop people from frequenting dungeons because it gives the impression that you're supposed to be on show at some strange place, in front of strange people, and perform like a circus animal with whatever awkwardness and learning curves that go along with it. Visit the place first. Take your partner there first. Sit around, watch people a little bit, meet the owner, and get familiar with the gear. That way, you'll feel much more settled when actually playing at this new space and you'll be able to enjoy yourself a lot more.

Autumn 2011 Gallery

2011-10-21T01:51:00.000-07:00

Many of the images from these are going to be used for other postings/purposes.....so the best images from these sets aren't in this Autumn 2011 Gallery. Tough!

But, anyway, it was a fun, quick, easy shoot and slave s.g. was terrific. In some ways, I suppose, clown fetish imagery and puppy play are perfect for Halloween but that was not the intent--I'll do essays on those for upcoming "Yes, Master" articles since those are both fringe fetishes (clown fetishes are definitely more obscure whereas puppy play is practically mainstream within the kink community at this point).

I'm trying to hit up all the fetishes and fetish concepts, as many as I can, during photo sessions. Because I find them fascinating. Sure, there are some that I'll skip but I'm going to check off as many on the list as I feel up to.

The images from these shoots turned out pretty cool and weird if I do say so myself....

Yes, Master (entry 46): The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

2011-10-18T09:02:00.000-07:00

This is the newest article for my "Yes, Master" column that appears on The New Gay website. Visit The New Gay to read some of my other entries (simply enter "Master Aiden or "Yes Master" into the search feature) as well as additional insightful columnists and writings focused on progressive and LGBT-related interests.

http://thenewgay.net/
..............

As you can probably imagine, Halloween is my favorite holiday. It happens to be one of the points throughout the year with the most business (people tend to be in the mood for getting whipped when they see jack-o'-lanterns--go figure) but the thing that you can depend on totally is this:

Everyone dresses up like skanks.

It started to get really ridiculous in the 90's and, now, it's just gotten worse and worse. The girls lead the pack when it comes to provacative outfits but, increasingly, the guys are following suit. I wouldn't have it any other way!

I live in Chicago which includes Boystown, the main gayborhood within the city, where every Halloween you can be certain to see an endless parade of male and female flesh popping out at all angles. Some people find it obnoxious and annoying. Bumping into an infinite number of 20-something trixies made up as Sexy Little Bo Peep, Sexy Strawberry Shortcake, Sexy Cat, Sexy Angel, Sexy Devil, Sexy Alice in Wonderland, Sexy Dorothy Gale, etc., etc. can be exhausting. Maybe for some people, but not for me. I truly enjoy staring at everyone looking like sluts because it just seems more natural and fun. Plus, I'm a huge pervert so that kind of helps.

What makes Halloween truly impressive, to me, is what it unleashes within the male psyche. It's difficult to tell the difference between the gay boys and the straight ones. Many girls' boyfriends will go in drag and other "completely hetero" guys will appear in some suspiciously revealing costumes and will encourage being molested by their straight (enough) buddies during the festivities. And it will seem like a joke until the fondling continues on past the 20-second grace period and re-emerges throughout the evening. Things can get weird.

"No homo"? Well, not on Halloween. Halloween these days has a very murky sexual fluidity to it and it's completely fantastic. Yes homo.

I hate calling myself a spiritual person because I tend to want to smack the shit out of spiritual people. But I still have faint traces of spirituality (even typing that word makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit) and I recognize that Halloween serves as a time of literal and personal harvest, of memorial, and end-of-year reflection. It also serves as a subversive death festival which our culture needs (we have some serious death-denial issues going on, especially in America). I hate admitting it but I am a reflective person and autumn brings out the best (and worst) in me.

We Americans can only deal with a certain amount of reflection, seriousness, and darkness however. Enough is enough! So we turned our death festival into a fucked up fertility festival while we were at it. It may be tempting to believe that Halloween is "meant for the kids" which it never truly was if you're willing to scratch the surface--usually, in our culture, we take that out when we're looking to explore something absurd while attempting to avoid the risk of embarassment. Halloween may be time for kids in some respects but, let's face it, it's also an excuse for adults to hang up paper skulls on their doors and parade around in kinky roleplay outfits.

Go out on Halloween, to any place of partying and adult congregation, and this will be brutally evident. Cassie from Human Resources wants to show the world that she'd make a really saucy Laura Croft. So here she is with countless Becky's, Jennifers, and Brianna's strutting around like we're trapped in red light district sponsored by Walt Disney. And all the hot and semi-hot guys want to wear hot pants and weird wigs. I wouldn't change a thing.

Is Halloween the time when we see the real you? Are you trying to tell us that your secret self is actually a whorish-looking cyborg? Maybe we should have known all along.

Whether you want to celebrate it as a candlelit bummer/mope-fest, a tacky excuse for rubber spiders, or as your one-night chance to wear fetish outfits and be an exhibitionist, All Hallow's Eve is everyone's best hope for personal expression. I see it as insightful and honest. But maybe that's being too serious....

What does a Dom wear on Halloween? This year I'm going as an animal cracker werewolf. What that says about me is anyone's guess.

Yes, Master (entry 45): The House of Wax

2011-10-04T08:25:00.000-07:00

There was one particular Master, who I would session with as a co-Dom, that was very passionate about wax application with paraffin candles. He would take a number of religious votive candles, of many colors, and drip them all at different points on top of the submissive’s body. This created a rainbow mess of swirling wax that was a play on sensation for the participant but, also, was humiliating and intimidating for them without causing any real sort of signifigant pain. It was extremely cool to watch. Afterwards, the wax is peeled off the skin followed by a shower to remove the remaining traces. Maybe the skin is a little bit rosy afterwards but that’s about the extent of it for most people. With paraffin, the Dom can apply a lot of wax, in large amounts, on the slave with ease and cautious safety. It’s also extremely messy, requires a paint tarp (or something along those lines) to protect the space, it’s high-maintenance. I’ve seen kinksters place Saran Wrap on top of exposed flesh before paraffin wax play in order to:

1.) keep the heat impact but

2.) avoid the stickiness/messiness removal if everything doesn’t end up peeling away easily< Another option is to put lotion on the skin to make the wax removal easier. That’s always a good idea too but, obviously, it may require a shower afterward anyway. Be creative and sensible.

I prefer to use taper candles (those upright, rod candles) when doing wax play. Why? In my opinion, paraffin wax is kind of “cute” and doesn’t cause enough pain. When I’m applying candle wax onto my submissive, I want it to be in precise, targeted bites of heat like falling needles. To me, those puddles and splashes of paraffin wax are too messy and require a certain kind of idealized space to work within. Plus there’s the need for a tarp. What if I don’t have time to go to the store to buy a paint tarp? I’m an extremely busy Dom with a tight schedule. Cleaning gear after a session usually takes at least 30-45 minutes afterwards and I have enough stuff to do……

Taper candles melt in drips that, with a little bit of skill, can be aimed at very specific parts of the human body and in controlled quantities. These are the kind of wax drips that cause jumps and a bit of dread for the submissive. I like being able to count and control the exact amount of drips heading towards the slave. Many drips for the brave souls, less drips for the more sensitive ones. My favorite way to remove wax? Ice.

No matter what kind of wax you decide to you use for your adventures, wax play should never be done around the head and eyes (of course) nor should it be used wrecklessly or to plug any orifices. It’s strictly for the wide expanses of the body and the outer areas–think the back, the shoulders, the buttocks, the chest, the nipples, carefully with the outer genitalia, etc.

The other issue, clearly, is that you’re dealing with fire. Don’t get too close to your slave’s body with the fire (unless you’re doing fire play which means that you’re highly experienced/skilled and that you’re submissive is fully aware and willing, etc. We’ll save the subject of fire play for some other article…..). Always keep the fire at a distance. Don’t burn anyone’s hair or clothing (including yours). Only do wax play if you’re 100% focused and lucid. Don’t do it if you’re tired. Once you’re finished always blow out the candles. The best way to get good at wax play is to find an ethusiastic submissive and put in a good amount of practice.

Yes, Master (entry 44): Yours For The Making

2011-09-19T23:52:00.000-07:00

This is the newest article for my "Yes, Master" column that appears on The New Gay website. Visit The New Gay to read some of my other entries (simply enter "Master Aiden or "Yes Master" into the search feature) as well as additional insightful columnists and writings focused on progressive and LGBT-related interests.

http://thenewgay.net/
..............

Every once in a while, if you'll notice, there is a period of time in which messages and themes repeat themselves to you for some reason. Coincidences, personal zeitgeists, and that sort of thing popping up at you in succession.

Lately, discussions that I've had with others relate to differerent interpretations of BDSM. Books and articles that I've read address this issue as well. A repeated theme, for whatever reason, keeps appearing.

What is BDSM? What isn't BDSM? What rules do you have to follow in order to say "Yes, this is BDSM"?

Does it have to involve leather or some kind of kink-wear? Does someone have to be bound or restrained in some capacity? Must it involve pain or simulated "punishment"?

No one seems to agree on much of anything, which may be the one of the core strengths of the BDSM community. For many participants, the classic/stereotypical approach is taken in the sense that yes, indeed, there are the whips, cuffs, boots, and the rest of the predictable paraphernalia involved. But what if someone wants to do high heel worship on their Mistress, while she sits in a chair wearing a vintage wedding dress, followed by a good round of old fashioned fucking? Maybe that's what a couple of my friends bragged about doing this weekend....(good job, you two--it sounds weird and strangely hot). And their question was: Was that BDSM? Was it kink? Or was it just sex with a couple of extra ingredients?

It's all open to interpretation. Worship was involved. Fetishistic elements were involved. One person was in control while the other person played submissive. Then the control dynamic flip-flopped. No one, according to them, was tied up or spanked. Isn't kink and BDSM under the same tent nowadays? Sort of?

I would argue that any sensual adventure, with experimental and prop elements involved, could be considered kink. Because kink is fetish. And fetish always goes along with BDSM. That didn't used to be the case but now it is. Go to any dungeon party or kink event and see the wide variety and interpretations that are out there. Everyone sees things differently.

Who says that you need to have ropes and riding crops? There is no rule book. The old ways, which were overly pissy and restrictive, have crumbled in favor of a more inclusive defintion of "leather" (literal or figurative) and sadomasochistic control.

Do you want it to be kinky and taboo? Then it is. Perhaps what is kinky/taboo to you is weak and vanilla to a harder player but who cares? They don't have to play along if they don't like it. Every scene is yours for the making between yourself and your partner(s).

A common mode of thinking in the BDSM community nowadays is that the bigger the tent, the better the circus. I agree. The variety of ideas and perceptions of what encompasses BDSM and kink feeds into the strength of the community. The more shared ideas that are out there, the richer the feast. The more you are exposed to and understand, the better off you are. For some people, BDSM means heavy leather and hardcore abuse. For others, kink play may mean a little bit of exhibitionism, a wedding dress, and some high heels. Why not?

If you want to get very technical and specific, then yes there is a difference between fetish and S&M but less and less people seem to care anymore. To me, that's progress. This all-inclusiveness has allowed the BDSM community to continue to grow as the years go on.

Don't ever believe that in order to go to a kink event, that you need to be head-to-toe in traditional bondage gear. If you don't want your Master or Mistress to tie you up, then you're no less worthy a slave. If punishment, in no way, involves spanking for you then you're not a weak submissive--it just means that you follow your own interests. You don't have to do anything that you don't want to do. Traditions are meant to be smashed and rules are meant to be broken.

The BDSM culture? It's yours. Redefine it to your own tastes and fantasies. The notions of kink, leather, fetish, and S&M are not sacred and fixed. If they were, that would completely defeat the purpose of transcendence.

I think that it's impossible for the kink community to weaken by variety. There will always be those strong, heavier players present (along with the lighter players) to keep things leaning towards the dark and mysterious. Like a gene pool, the more varied the strains, the healthier the tribe is.

Yes, Master (Entry 43): Chains of Love

2011-09-06T10:12:00.000-07:00

This is the newest article for my "Yes, Master" column that appears on The New Gay website. Visit The New Gay to read some of my other entries (simply enter "Master Aiden or "Yes Master" into the search feature) as well as additional insightful columnists and writings focused on progressive and LGBT-related interests.

http://thenewgay.net/
..............

When you hear the word “bondage” (especially within the context of BDSM), you immediately think of ropes.

You think of people tied at the feet, knees, wrists, and elbows on a bed. Or maybe you think of someone sexy bound to a chair. Chances are that the ropes look like something that you’d find off of a ship since the the ropes typically used in rope play tend to be white or black, mid-width synthetics. When it comes down to it, BDSM kinksters can be surprisingly traditional.

I like to use ropes during sessions too (sometimes) but I favor stronger absolutes. I’m an impatient person. If a bondage arrangement takes me longer than 3 or so minutes to create, I probably won’t be interested.

My idea of bondage stems from cartoons, action films, and 1940′s film noir. Those images established a quick, ultra-functional approach to tying someone down. It was ugly, useful, and done immediately as would be the case if someone were actually abducted to be bound since, naturally, there would be an element of rebelion and struggle involved. When I’m sessioning, I love to feel that the bondage is relatively plausible meaning that the captive most likely wasn’t asked if he or she would be kind enough to stand just so while the abductor took their sweet time to immobilize them.

I love metal, locks, and straps. You don’t argue with them, you can’t slip out of them, and they won’t accept fussiness. They’re either there or they’re not. The lock is either in place or it isn’t. Chains, especially, are quick, dirty, and functional which is exactly how I like bondage play. The only thing that the Master or Mistress of the scene needs to be aware of is making sure that the correct keys to the locks are always within reach. Lost keys can lead to bad situations, obviously.
I love the sound of chains clinking and clunking when binding a slave up. It establishes a faintly medieval vibe and pushes that aura of inescapablility and punishment. Chains are immediately associated with authority, access, and metalic strength. If it’s man vs. chain, you know automatically who will win. None of us are Superman.

Pet stores are the best due to the fact that their chains are pre-cut to reasonable, workable, and appropriate lengths for BDSM play. Their short chains and long chains are neither too short nor overly long. Hardware stores come in close second and are perfect if you find yourself desiring very specific lengths.

Everyone likes their bondage to reflect their unique tastes. Everyone has their own ways of doing things–just like making coffee. BDSM is the same. To me, nothing is more perfect than the sound of a riding crop hitting soft flesh immediately followed by the jangle of metal links, creating a classic combination of sound textures that are instantly and universally recognizable. Plus, I know that when I want to capture or release a slave, I can do so in no time at all which is ideal for an impatient Master like myself.

And, with chains, is there any opportunity for the slave to escape? Nope, not a chance. The submissive is forced to have faith that their Master or Mistress will be relatively merciful…

Summer Gallery 2011

2011-08-31T01:34:00.000-07:00

A ha!

Nothing too weird or crazy for the gallery of images from Summer 2011. At least not in my opinion.....

Basics.

Some leather, some rubber, some suspensful abduction, some smoke, basics.

The cook in the kitchen, that sort of thing.

I like the one where I'm putting clothespins on the slave's nipples while he's slinged--yep, that pretty much captures it; no fuss or bullshit. My only complaint with that picture is that the angle is strange and it makes me look short which I'm not.....but oh well, it's still a good picture because it's not posed or anything.

There were some images (there's only 1 included here) where I was paddling the slave but the paddle that I was using was a black rubber one and it looked fucked because rubber paddles bend when they're held upright. It didn't look right; so I have to be sure to do some good paddling images next time using an old-fashioned wooden paddle instead of a rubber one. In realtime, they're great; but for photographs I guess that rubber paddles get "lost in translation" a little bit. Why is it that bondage and punishement sessions are so much fun but photo shoots are such a pain in the ass? Lordy....

The photo of me in the leather coat with the rod is REALLY corny but....oh well. The bed and the mask one is also really ridiculous but....whatever. Fine--I'll include them anyway. They're fun.

I like the Summer Gallery 2011. Some good stuff here. Special thanks to those of you who helped;)

This photo shoot is a breeze compaired to what the Autumn set is going to be like. Now THAT is going to be a freakshow with all kinds of bizarre shit but we'll get to that later. You will be entering the Twilight Zone in a way.

So, for now, here is the Summer Gallery 2011:

Immersion

2011-08-17T00:25:00.000-07:00

Inspiration comes from everywhere.

Whether it's from science fiction books, graphic novels, history, or my own revamped dungeon (I'm still working on it! It's coming along! Thanks for asking, guys! This is, BY FAR, the most humbling project I've ever worked on in my life.....yowza.....).

You can be sure, with all this inspiration, that I'm cooking up some great stuff for you, my slaves and dear readers......

Bonus Q&A's, August 2011

2011-08-09T12:43:00.000-07:00

I have an extra moment today so I might as well answer some Q's with some A's.

Q: Do you actually wear gas masks during sessions?

A: Do I? No. You, as the slave, can. I've worn masks (usually leather half-masks, never gas masks, I admit it) during a session and I only wear masks if a slave is really, really into that. I don't normally wear any masks during sessions because, to me, they're distracting when I'm doing something intense or detail-oriented. But they sure add a great dimension to the photos though!

Q: Would you ever do a session where you tie my toes together, Master Aiden?

A: Sure. It's not a typical requests but, ok, that could be part of your session.

Q: Do you have facial hair?

A: Sometimes, depending on my mood and if I've had time to shave.

Q: Would you ever be able to come to my office to do a session with me there (after the other workers have left for the day)?

A: Yes. It's not completely recommended (what if somebody forgot their Blackberry and has to come back to get it?) but it's doable and NOT UNCOMMON. I've had some great BDSM sessions at offices so, as long as you feel comfortable and confident with it, that option is there for you.

Photography Services

2011-08-09T11:16:00.000-07:00

I do a lot of photography for this blog as well as my website and, over the years, I've also done photos for other pro Masters, Mistresses, and BDSM lifestylers.

If you want or need photos, just ask.

For pro Masters and Mistresses, I will always photograph them free of charge.

If you're seeking a photoshoot, and you're not a pro Dominant, prices are fair, negotiable, and case-by-case. Let me know what budget you have in mind and we'll work something out.

My emphasis is on artistic and creative S&M imagery.

If you would like to be the subject of a photo session, or if you would like to commission one, contact me at: Master-Aiden@hotmail.com

The Basics:

-You have to be over 25 years of age (I will check your ID).

-No kiddies, animals, dead people, or extreme harshness.

-You can't be stoned or drunk.

-What you do with your own photos is your business, not mine.

-You own all copyrights and ownership of resulting photos. They are yours and yours alone. No surprises. You will never see your images on my blog or anywhere else unless you've given me direct permission or you request for me to put them up.

-Worried about tattoos? Don't be--that's why we have Photoshop.

-I specialize in both elaborate and minimalist S&M and fetish photography. I like intelligent, artistic erotic photography. I like Mapplethorpe, Diane Arbus, Pierre et Giles, and Terry Richardson. Nudity is fine of course but I'm not really looking to do porn or take closeup's of your privates unless there's something extremely unique about them. Keep the concepts cool and creative.

-Shoots can be at my dungeon, your place, or outside somewhere if kept within reason.

-Have fun and think outside the box. Weird Is Good.

Yes, Master (entry 42): Time and Time Again

2011-08-09T09:03:00.000-07:00

This is the newest article for my "Yes, Master" column that appears on The New Gay website.

Visit The New Gay to read some of my other entries (simply enter "Master Aiden or "Yes Master" into the search feature) as well as additional insightful columnists and writings focused on progressive and LGBT-related interests.

http://thenewgay.net/
..............

As they say, Timing Is Everything.

To me, more specifically, Scheduling Is Everything but I’ll discuss BDSM in general rather than get to the nitty-gritty of my personal life….

I’m a big believer in the 10-Minute Rule. What I mean by this is, in most cases, it’s best to do one particular activity (for example: spanking, nipple torture, electro play, etc.) and then move on to another one. Give or take 10-minutes, depending on how the parties involved favor individual activities. When it comes to extreme favorites and number one fetishes, then that length of time should be obviously extended–go for 20 minutes, a half hour, or even an hour or more on one activity if the time and passion are present.

If you’re trying something out, something new that you’re not sure whether or not you and/or your partner will enjoy, it’s best to start out on that activity using a 2 or 3-minute time frame. That gives you just enough time to say “yes, we did it and we tried it thoroughly” allowing sensations to sink in and psychologically process without overdoing it to the point of someone getting bored, grossed out, or hurt by an unfavorable activity. If you end up loving an activity, then you can continue along with it.

In my opinion, the dependable and safe amount of time for favored individual BDSM activities is 10 minutes each unless the submissive requests otherwise. It’s just enough time to dive into an individual scene completely but not enough time to allow redundancy or boredom.

Often times, with bondage slaves, their eyes are bigger than their stomaches in the sense that they think (in their fantasies) that they can handle a certain kind of scene longer than they actually can. For example, hearing a slave say that they want to be kept in a dog cage for an entire day should be taken with an extreme grain of salt. A slave may insist “Really! I really want to be kept in a cage for 24 hours! I know that I’d love it and I know that I can handle it!” but then, after 15 minutes, they realize that the sitting or knealing in cramped conditions causes, you guessed it, cramps. Or whatever. Every once in a while, I’ll give someone exactly what they asked for just to prove that they don’t truly want it. As a Dom, it’s part of my job to be a dick sometimes.

Rather than getting frustrated with some slaves, I’m at the point where I usually know how to translate their verbalized desires into realistic scenes. Like everything else in life, if something sounds exaggerated and unrealistic, it probably is. The same rule applies to BDSM timing. If the slave says that they want to kept in a dog cage for an entire day, I immediately translate that to 25 minutes. If they can go for an hour or two, then I’m definitely impressed. We take it as it goes. Needless to say, you must check in on your slave at intervals as the scene continues along. Leaving them completely alone, in bondage, is a big fat NO and completely out of the question.

The perfect length for a full out, full meal BDSM session is anywhere from 1 to 3 hours, going from scene to scene, activity to activity. It all depends on who you’re sessioning with. There are some slaves who love a quick, 45-minute blast of S&M and that’s that for them for the day. Other slaves can handle 5 hour sessions without blinking. Everyone is different.

Here’s something to take with you….

If you’re a typical guy or gal and you’re into BDSM and your partner is into BDSM and they want to do some bondage play with you but they’re being coy and unspecific about what they want to do and how they want to go about it, just fall back on this:

An hour or so of play time and, when in doubt, indulging in one activity for about 10 minutes before moving on to another activity. That’s safe and no one will argue with you for that. Adjust the time lengths accordingly depending on your favorites and the favorites of your partner.

There you go.

Should you watch the clock? Should you be overly invested in time management during what is supposed to be free-wheeling fun?

No, of course not. You can feel time without looking at numbers. You just go with what feels right, natural, and hot. That’s all that there is to it. However, it’s best not to linger or get frozen in particular activities to the point where it’s feeling stale or someone is getting sore. When in doubt, leave them wanting more. Or requesting more, for that matter.

But if you need to fall back on anything having to do with pacing a bondage session and you’re not sure what to do or how to progress a scene with your partner, relying on around 10 minutes (or less) per activity is a reasonable bet. Be sure to try out new things and always play safe.

I realize that this is the most generalized timing approach to BDSM but it’s a good foundation to adjust according to your liking. S&M kinksters, especially those starting out, can get easily flustered by pacing issues with new play partners and this is meant to help you out a little.

Yes, Master (entry 41): Picture This

2011-07-25T23:26:00.000-07:00

Yes, Master (entry 40): Play Party Myth Busters

2011-07-12T14:51:00.000-07:00

Information For New Slaves

2011-07-11T23:10:00.000-07:00

So you want to be a slave?

Very good.

If you are a resident of Chicago or you live in the general metro Chicago area, click HERE.

If you are not a resident of Chicago--if you are a visitor from outside the area--click HERE.

Availability and Scheduling

2011-07-07T21:12:00.001-07:00

Standard BDSM Sessions:

I am available for private one-on-one sessions during the following days/times......

Sundays-- 5am through 10:30am, 10pm through 2am

Mondays-- 5am through 10:30am, 10pm through 2am

Tuesdays-- anytime

Wednesdays-- 5am through 10:30am, 10pm through 2am

Thursdays-- anytime

Fridays-- anytime

Saturdays-- 5am through 10:30am, 10pm through 2am

$150 is the suggested tribute per standard BDSM session.

Standard sessions are 75-minute sessions. Longer sessions are available upon request.

Clients have the option of having their session at either my dungeon in the Portage Park district of Chicago OR at their residence or lodging within Chicago or the metro Chicago area.

Special slaves may also have the option of attending a dungeon party/club with me if their behavior and scheduling allows.
.......................

Swing By and Visit:

Are you new? Considering scheduling a session with me? Or maybe you're a Chicago kinkster just looking to meet me, have a chat, and visit the dungeon just for the hell of it? Come see me during my office hours at the dungeon. There are no tributes necessary for quick stop-by's and conversations.

My office hours are:

Tuesdays-- 8pm to 11pm
Thursdays-- 10pm-midnight
Saturdays-- 7am-11am

Contact me and let me know when you'd be interested in dropping by.

Many new slaves choose to meet me for coffee before having their first session. That's completely understandable. Consider that an option as well.

Yes, Master (entry 39): Q&A's, June 2011

2011-06-28T00:04:00.000-07:00

This is the newest article for my "Yes, Master" column that appears on The New Gay website. Visit The New Gay to read some of my other entries (simply enter "Master Aiden or "Yes Master" into the search feature) as well as additional insightful columnists and writings focused on progressive and LGBT-related interests.

http://thenewgay.net/
..............

Questions and Answers are always fun so let's have a stab at some new ones.....

Q: Would you be willing to teach my partner and I how to do some Bondage and Discipline on each other? I'm looking for an instructional session, not a personal one.

A: Of course. Figure out a day and time with your partner and let's schedule one.

Q: Master Aiden, I enjoy reading your blog and your "Yes, Master" articles. I have to ask you (please don't be offended) but why do you appear so nice? Are you really like that? How can a Dom actually be that way?

A: I'm not offended. You would have to work very, very hard to offend me in any capacity. I'm from Detroit, for God's sake.....When you regularly bind and whip people as a normal part of your weekday, it's amazing how relaxed you can be. I am, usually, a nice person. I try not to be too corny when it comes to the Master stuff (especially when I'm writing on my blog) because I have a low tolerance for decorum and pretense....but I work in a field that is heavy with decorum and pretense. I don't know. I don't want to come across as scary or vicious--I just want everyone to have a good time and try to create fantastical situations because.....we can. If that makes any sense? But my mom recently accused me of being callous and mean-spirited so maybe it's all starting to catch up on me. We'll see.

Q: I have a fantasy about having a session where there are 2 or 3 Masters abusing me. Do you have any other Masters that you work with, Master Aiden, who you could invite into a session?

A: I do know other Masters that would be willing to co-Dom with me for a session. Just be aware, please, that these kinds of sessions are not at all cheap and are usually reserved for high-roller types. If you can afford it, go for it, hotshot.

Q: Dear Master Aiden: I have a fantasy where I'm tied up and left in an alley and then you come back 2 hours later, kidnap me, take me to your dungeon, and make me your private slave. Can we do a session like that?

A: Ugh. You know that I can't tie you up in an alley and leave you for 2 hours. What if people think that it's a real situation? What if some driver isn't paying attention (big shock) and accidentally runs you over? And the rats.....There are some big damn rats in some of the alleys in Chicago. Do you want them nibbling on your nuts while you're tied up on the pavement? Maybe you do but I guess I'm not that hardcore and I'm not into that kind of shit. Look, can't we just have a "normal" session where I chain you up and "kidnap" you in the dungeon? At least that way you don't have to worry about getting rabies.....I think.....

Q: What do you usually wear when you're in session?

A: It depends on the session.

Q: Hey, I'd like to hire you to give me a massage. Could you come over to Lakeview tonight at 8?

A: Like a "sexy massage"? No. I don't give massages. I'd probably suck at that. I have friends who are masseurs (legit ones), who are very talented and hard-working but I don't think that they're "sexy massuers"....What are we talking about? A massage or a "massage (wink, wink)"? I'm so confused but, really, it doesn't matter. I don't do massages or "massages" but I do know how to hogtie you and electrocute you. How does that sound? It's almost like getting a massage....but it's a little bit different. And, by the way, you have to schedule your session at least 24 hours in advance because I'm all about meticulous scheduling and I'm a busy guy. Mainly because I spend a large part of my day answering questions, some of which are sincere, some of which are kind of ridiculous.

Yes, Master (entry 38): Unnatural Resources

2011-06-14T00:49:00.000-07:00

Resources and Links

2011-06-08T23:34:00.000-07:00

There are many places to find great BDSM gear both in The Windy City and online.

Chicago is a BDSM city--no doubts about that. There are plenty of events to attend and things to do.

The following resources and links are simply the ones that I, myself, tend to favor and I thought that they could be helpful for you.
.................

*My dot com (I still update it sometimes but not as much as this blog):

-http://www.masteraidenbdsm.com/

*Where To Get BDSM Gear and Fetish Clothing in Chicago (quality gear, affordable prices, nice people):

-Cupid's Treasure and Leather Sport on Halstead in Boystown

-Mephisto Leathers store on Clark in Rogers Park, close to Andersonville

-Belmont Army Surplus (3rd floor!) store at Clark & Belmont

*Order BDSM Gear and Fetish Clothing from Anywhere Online (legit, professional, dependable, great stuff):

-Mr. S Leather based in San Francisco, CA

-Mr. Hyde's Custom Leather based in New Orleans, LA

-Stockroom based in Los Angeles, CA

-Fort Troff based in Atlanta, GA

-Slick It Up based in New York City, NY

-SpandexMan based in New York City, NY

-N2N based in Los Angeles, CA

-Leather Etc. based in San Francisco, CA

-Semmerling and Schaefer Masks based in Chicago, IL

-Extreme Restraints online supplier only

*Socialize (the sites to meet new friends and fellow kinksters online; FREE memberships):

-Fetlife (think Facebook for Masters, Mistresses, slaves, and perverts. Intelligent and a great source for event notifications)

-Recon (for gay and bi guys only)

-Collar Me (men, women, trans, gay, straight, bi, etc.)

*Leather Bars in Chicago:

-Touche on Clark in Rogers Park

-Jackhammer and The Hole (2 in 1!....and right next door to Touche)

*Go Visit in Chicago:

-Leather Archives and Museum

-1901 Gallery

-Exit Bar

*Annual BDSM Events in Chicago (while they occur around the same times every year, the specific dates change year by year, so please visit their respective sites linked below):

-IML (end of May)

-Shibaricon (end of May; same weekend as IML)

-LGBT Pride (end of June; signifigant Leather presence and dependable S&M parties)

-Market Days (beginning of August; signifigant Leather presence and dependable S&M parties)

-Crimson Moon (big play parties every July and October--see website)

-Kinky College (mid to end of October)

-Halloween (there are always a ton of BDSM events in Chicago at this time of the year)

-Mr. International Rubber (early November)

-New Years (you can depend of there being plenty of kinky events to choose from on NYE))

*Suggestions:

-join Fetlife. STRONGLY suggested. Keeps you perfectly up-to-date on local BDSM events and play parties at bars, dungeons, etc. Fantastic social network and surprisingly no-fuss.

-join Recon. Enthusiastic kinksters as well as international BDSM events listings.

-visit this site, BrownBearsSW, to see what's going on night-by-night for BDSM kinksters in the Chicago area (which bars to go to, what parties to attend, special events, etc.).

Yes, Master (entry 37): Fetish Untied at IML 2011

2011-05-31T09:46:00.000-07:00

This is the newest article for my "Yes, Master" column that appears on The New Gay website. Visit The New Gay to read some of my other entries (simply enter "Master Aiden or "Yes Master" into the search feature) as well as additional insightful columnists and writings focused on progressive and LGBT-related interests.

http://thenewgay.net/
..........

The International Mr. Leather festival is a slightly misleading name for what this annual Chicago event has evolved into. Yes, sure, there are leathermen in their cowskins coming into view from every angle but now IML is more of a massive palate of individual kinks, fetishes, and fascinations put on display for everyone to see. As one of my slaves and I realized, as the years go on, the costumes and toys that we encounter increasingly offer a wider visual range than one may expect; the internal, highly-individual sexual worlds of men and women externalized.

On the day that I was there (Friday), I saw only a few women. Usually I see more, and I'm certain that plenty of kinky ladies visited IML on the days that followed, but this lack of feminine presence emphasized that the festival is truly, at its core, a sort of perverted dreamworld for queer men of every leaning. If you're a homosexual or bisexual male and if you like sex and have fetishes (which all of us do), then IML is for you. Leather or no leather.

Yes, you will see the classic leatherman in head-to-toe skins: the hat, the boots, the chaps, and the harness. There will be plently of them. The IML festival was designed for that fetish archetype. But now that classic leatherman shares the floor at IML with an almost-equal amount of rubbermen, human dogs, human pigs, denim boys, and lycra enthusiasts. The Old Guard has had to let the dungeon doors crack open a bit since the fetish community continues to elvolve and change in variety and number. Rather than splintering the "leather world" and shooting kinksters off into different directions (something that I was initially concerned may happen) it seems that everything is settling comfortably under 1 tent. All those fetish interests coexist peacefully as one wide, colorful spectrum of sexual obsessions for everyone to sample a bit or, at least, be exposed to. It's becoming more rare to see any party or fetish ball that's exclusively 1 type of "meat" over the other. I think that this is a positive developement. Why exclude passion and enthusiasm just because the clothing is made of a different material from the one that you fetishize? Why not embrace wider variety?

Black "gear" or clothing will always dominate IML. But this year, more than ever before, I saw blue rubber cat suits, canary yellow harnesses, and green and red wrestling singlets popping up. I, personally, usually wear all black (fashion isn't my passion and I can count on all that darkness matching everything) but just because I'm kind of boring in that respect doesn't mean that I don't appreciate a deviation into colorful kinkwear. Sometimes I get tired of seeing all that black and I love to encounter guys who take visual chances. I respect kinksters who aren't afraid to stand out from the crowd. This year was good for that since there were guys in kilts, poodle outfits, steampunk regalia, pure white Navy uniforms, and even racoon tails.

More than anything, I noticed that IML and what we define as "kink" is clearly becoming more all-inclusive. It's harder to shock people nowadays and America is becoming more sexually open. It's difficult for any of us to remain innocent in a world that features global internet. While this may subtract from the secretive, "forbidden" allure that appeals to many who appreciate paddles, shackles, and leather masks, IML is living proof that the values of varying sexualities and obsessions continue to rise.

This year, I noticed that the toys and gear continue to elvolve, progress, and remain classic when they choose to do so. Visiting the vendors' stalls it's clear that kink innovation is not slowing down in the slightest. The Willy Wonka-esque variety of impressive sex toys appeals to everyone with a libido. The possibilities and ideas are, apparently, endless which keeps the kink trade remaining fresh.

Although it was initially created for gay guys, IML is increasinly a destintation for every open-minded adult--ones who are extremely kinky and ones who are just a little bit kinky. Which means, basically, everyone. There were occassional straight couples strolling through the displays. It's only $5 to enter the market and tickets to individual parties are affordable. Being in Chicago on Memorial Day weekend and ignoring Leather Market is doing a disservice to oneself. I don't remember hearing any screams of pain at IML 2011 but I did see an endless stream of smiling faces.

Yes, Master (entry 36): Premeditated

2011-05-17T09:24:00.000-07:00

http://thenewgay.net/

..........

Sometimes I wonder if people think that BDSM sessioning is chaotic--that it's just a flurry of belts and nipple clamps applied, removed, tossed against the wall, thrown to the floor, and whatever happens happens. No proverbial map for the session, only a flow of impulses and reactions. For some people this may be the case and it may work out perfectly for them.

As for me, I like to plan ahead. That's what suits my personality. I enjoy customizing every single session that I have according to the specific interests of the submissive and what kind of a submissive they are. Back when I first started off, I remember doing a double-Dom session with a newbie Dominatrix. We had the man hooked up to the St. Andrew's Cross so that he was facing the wall and we worked his backside with general "warm up" floggers and some good whacks with the riding crop followed by applications of the Wartenberg wheel. After we were done with that for a while we, naturally, flipped him around and did some TT (tit torture) and CBT (cock-and-ball torture) for a while and then.....

And then what?

The Mistress and I shot a glance over at each other (thankfully the slave was blindfolded) as to say "Okay, what's next? What do I want to do? No, what do you want to do next?". There was 30 minutes left to the session. We were both having an uncreative moment and the session halted for an awkward minute or so while we decided what to do next to the submissive. That's lame. You never want that to happen. A BDSM session should be a very seamless flow of torturous, tantalizing activities that lead from one to the next to the next until the session has reached a finale (yes, a finale of some sort in some context whether physical, mental, or both) and a conclusion for the day. It's supposed to make the Dom/Domme seem effortlessly cool, powerful, and collected.

I force myself, before every session, to sit down for 5 or so minutes, think about the upcoming person that I'll be working on, and then I go ahead and create a mental gameplan. If I'm feeling stressed about it, I'll even go so far as writing down the "set list" on a scrap of paper, taping it against the wall, and hiding it behind a flogger or something.

Time with one of my usual slaves who favors a lot of bondage and intimidation may have a paper for the session that reads:

"strip them
light abuse and slapping
shackles, face to wall, warm up flogging
boot worship
hooded cowl or blindfold
bondage chair w/TT, CBT, and hot wax
bondage table, face down: spanking, booty abuse, hot wax, ice. Bondage, bondage, bondage. Hogtie?
sling (if we have time) foot abuse, ice, wheel, gag, e-stim
bondage glove restraints w/spreader bar, heavy whipping and flogging."

It makes sense to me, at least.

And that would be the gameplan for that session, generally. I don't have to follow that verbatim; I may decide in the midst of the session to take a different route but at least that gives me a general guideline for a good, strong "story" for that slave for that day.

It is dorky. I realize that. I don't do "set lists" for every session, far from it nowadays, but I definitely used to. I know that it helped me form a sense for pacing and flow for BDSM sessions. I thought that I'd share this with you up-and-coming Dominants in case you found that it helped map out your own plans for the sessions that you orchestrate with your partners. It may help you avoid those "Okay, now what?" moments.

A BDSM session should be a lot of fun for the Dominant while also doing the best to address the particular interests of the individual slave and incorporating those elements in some way within the progression of the session.

Yes, Master (entry 35): Something To Try With A Friend--Single Tail Ice Hockey

2011-05-03T08:52:00.000-07:00

Use a single tail whip, or a belt or a long strip of leather or rubber, to lash at cube on top of the submissive. This will send the ice sliding up or down their body. If your aim is good that day, you can send the ice here and there in the direction of your choosing, while cooling of the recently whipped or spanked skin of your partner. They get to be soothed while you get to practice your aim. It's a win-win! The neat thing is that as the ice is melting, the water around it generally adheres the cube to the skin which stops it from popping off if you're careful. Try to keep the ice on as long as possible (until it melts) without snapping it off of your submissive and having it shoot across the room.

How long does the ice stay on your submissive? How many times can you move it up and down the torso? Did you miss the cube and end up hitting your submissive instead (whoops)? If so, how many times did you miss? And how many times did you hit the bullseye (i.e. the ice cube)?

If you're feeling really artsy, you can draw marks and lines on your partner's back and ass to create a field point system.

Summer games are for adults too. This is a fun activity for those who are carefu and perfect for one-on-one play. Or, of course, you can try this game out with friends and keep score.

Yes, Master (entry 34): Entrance/Exit

2011-04-19T09:33:00.000-07:00

http://thenewgay.net/

..........

When you're wearing fetish clothing and you have your gear all over the place, everything is fine and good when you're in the dungeon. That's the natural place for all of that. But what about that whole important part about entering and leaving the dungeon? How does all of that work? Do you answer the door wearing a harness and chaps? Do you leave the hotel wearing kneehigh military boots, carrying your riding crop behind you? Practicalities are everything in BDSM whether or not they're sexy to think about.

To stay incognito you need either an entire change of clothing to bring with you or you can do things how I prefer to do them. I believe in black hoodies. They zip up and off easily and I make sure it's a big enough hoodie to zip over whatever clothing/gear that I have on my upper torso. I also recommend baggy gym pants or sweats that can easily fit over fetishy pants and tone down the visual impact of leather boots. Keep in mind that cover clothing is simply for coming and going--not for hanging out around town since they're not the best looks. But wearing simple cover clothing saves you the time/awkwardness of completely changing and also has somethingof a superhero factor in the sense that you can just pull off your clothes and you're ready to go. It doesn't matter whether or not it's 90 degrees outside. I deal with it.

When entering or exiting any building or hotel with your bag of gear and whatever clothes you're wearing, it's best to just march in there like you own the place and that you're completely confident in where you're going. Look a little tired. Maybe text while you're doing it. You've been in and out so many times that you're OVER IT and you just want to get to your room. Understand? Be sure know exactly which room you're heading to by clearly communicating the room number with your partner before you head over to the location. If the location requires key access of some sort in order to reach the floor of the particular room that you're heading to, your partner must meet you down in the lobby so that you can head up together. Please, no fetish clothes, wrist shackles, or roleplay then. You'll get to that later. Incognito, always.

A big bag of gear requires a duffel or at least something with a lot of space to it. If you're bringing any rods or canes, be sure that the bag has enough length in order to accomodate those OR place your rods/canes in poster/blueprint tubes or musical instrument cases to allude to other purposes rather than S&M. Just a suggestion. Plus, it's fun. Also, pack up with you some black plastic bags in which you can hold your "To Wash" items for when you get home, so that those are clearly and physically seperated from other gear and bag/cases linings. You have to think ahead and maintain cleanliness and good hygiene while remaining incognito during exits and entrances.

Chains Jangling, Vinyl and Leather Squeaking, Synth Beat

2011-04-15T03:12:00.000-07:00

When you hear those sounds, you're probably pretty close to Neo in Chicago.

Every 2nd and last Sunday of every month is Carnal night which is themed to kinky tunes and fetishistic subjects. Or roundabout. You get it.

At any rate, it's pretty fun and the Neo crowd is always a good time. I went to the last Carnal night and it was, indeed, enjoyable.

The link is here: http://neo-chicago.com/index.neo?event=12

Go if you enjoy that music/scene.

Yes, Master (entry 33): "Reality and Fantasy"

2011-04-05T10:31:00.000-07:00

This is the newest article for my "Yes, Master" column that appears every other Wednesday (tomarrow) on The New Gay website.Visit The New Gay to read some of my other entries (simply enter "Master Aiden or "Yes Master" into the search feature) as well as additional insightful columnists and writings focused LGBT-related interests.

http://thenewgay.net/
..........

Anyone who’s ever gone on a vacation, been in a relationship, embarked on any sort of extensive project, or participated in BDSM knows that sometimes there are wide areas of disconnect between fantasies and how those fantasies translate into reality. Life is beautiful to us sometimes in the sense that every once in a while the realistic outcome of a scenario that originated as a fantasy will come out just as good, or maybe even better, than you imagined. It happens and it’s life-affirming. But usually it’s the opposite–not necessarily drastic disappointments but more like subtle, irritating frustrations. So close but not quite there.

I found that some of the lessons that I’ve learned when conducting BDSM scenes can be applied, of course, to other people’s bondage adventures but also to other facets of life overall. So here me out. Bridging the gaps between reality and fantasy can be done by applying certain initiatives towards S&M play or, for that matter, doing home construction. Or maintaining a romantic relationship or creating a weekly schedule. You get the idea. If you’ve rationally imagined something to turn out a certain way, then it’s possible to bring it to fruition. As long as it doesn’t involve unicorns or complete personal access to billions of dollars, you may be closer to making it happen than you think. It pretty much boils down to preplanning, effort, and the ability to adjust.
First off, identify your fantasy and communicate it with your partner. If they’re not willing and/or they think it’s weird, gross, etc., then you need to find another partner with which to engage in that specific scenario. Don’t make people do stuff that they don’t want to do or that they lean away from. It may permanently change how they view you. Everyone has stupid fantasies, sexy fantasies that are basically attractive to everyone else, and also really weird, random fantasies that are highly unique (or so you thought…..) to you as an individual. It’s important to identify which fantasies you should try engaging in with your particular partner in and which ones they are better left out of. There’s a difference. I’m just being realistic for you.

Once you’ve identified which fantasy you’ll be diving into, think ahead before engaging in your scene. Have all the tools, accessories, and gear within close range. Do you need lube? An electric extention cord? Paper towels? How about hydrogen peroxide? Okay great! Just be certain that you actually have all that shit in your house before you’re doing your scene and realize that you need those. Plot out and imagine everything in your head before you get started, making sure that you’re fully prepared. If not, you’re going to end up looking like a moron.

Effort. You get out of it what you put into it (or them or you). Don’t be lazy and wait for magical thinking to gallop in, take over the scene, and save the day. If you’ve planned on tying up your partner and sucking his dick, then you’d better damn well suck his dick beautifully (lips, no teeth, pressure, time, pace, etc.) or he will be terribly disappointed. If your jaw is getting tired after only two minutes, it’s because you’re either being a wimp or you’re not used to sucking dick. Buckle down and do it well or don’t do it at all. Sometimes you find yourself in a situation that you you’re not in the mood for or “don’t feel like it right now” but if you’ve partially initiated it, then you need to be a big boy or girl and finish the job off for the sake of your partner. Don’t be lame, don’t be a let-down. If you’re not going to do a good job at washing your car, then you shouldn’t be doing it that day. Same difference. Half-assed jobs make everyone look stupid. This applies to sex, BDSM, and 99% of everything else in life. Plus, everyone can tell the difference whether or not they admit it.
Does your fantasy need a slight tweaking in order for it to more realistically manifest? Then you need to change it for the better. People are amusing in the sense that they tend to view traditional fantasies or their own personal fantasies as being precious doctrine that should never be adjusted. Nonsense! Sometimes altering fantasies to better suit the needs of the scene or your partner actually end up improving or enrichening them so don’t be afraid to experiment. Simply go with the flow and allow action to change it’s course when nature calls for it. It’s entirely possible that you may end up surprising yourself in the sense that a new, improved fantasy may be added into your “personal library”. Your fantasies are not sacred; they are flowing, malleable. Don’t be so structured (mentally, physically) that you end up breaking them before they even materialize. Let them be permeable, let them breathe a bit. If you and/or your partner add in or take away a few ingredients of the recipe, then allow it to happen. Life is a collaboration, always.

Preplanning your actions in detail, based on your fantasies, brings them as close as possible to the original text so be sure to think ahead. Rationalize what it takes in order for that kink to be easy and natural when it comes into play. Pay tribute to that fantasy by putting in the energy and effort that is needed for it to be pleasing/worth it both for you and your partner. If you need to push yourself and “try” more, then do so. Don’t be victim to fantasies that are so suffocatingly structured that they could never truly exist outside your imagination. Create space for adjustment, improvement, surprise, and addition. Fantasies are very rarely diminished but what makes them so great is that they can be expanded, improved upon, grown wider, and multiplied with greater variety.

Spring 2011 Gallery

2011-04-02T03:33:00.000-07:00

Nothing too strange, nothing that reaches too far outside the standard visuals of pro BDSM.

Normal (for us, at least) for now. More stuff coming this summer.

Here we have some shackles, some stomping, a bit of boot worship, some bully play (which quite a few of you have alluded to as personal fantasies), and some symbolic images to top things off. I'm really loving the khaki military uniform for those particular shots--different but completely appropriate. And what I also like about these is that it's pretty clear that we like to have fun here at Master Aiden's dungeon.

Nice.

Special thanks to my wonderful, talented, hard-working, tolerant photographer L.B.J. as well to S. Slave for being the submissive in these photo stories. Gentlemen, thanks for your input, effort, and time!

Yes, Master (entry 32): "Q&A's"

2011-03-22T08:25:00.000-07:00

This is the newest article for my "Yes, Master" column that appears every other Wednesday (tomarrow) on The New Gay website.

Visit The New Gay to read some of my other entries (simply enter "Master Aiden or "Yes Master" into the search feature) as well as additional insightful columnists and writings focused LGBT-related interests.

http://thenewgay.net/

..........

I haven't done any Q&A's for a while now, and there were some interesting ones building up, so let's get to it.....

Q: Master Aiden, I've had fantasies of being submissive while being dressed in ladies' lingerie, high heels, and makeup. If I were to schedule some time with you, would you be willing to do a forced fem session with me?

A: I don't get session proposals like this one very often. From what I understand, this is a scenario that is requested towards Dominatrixes a lot--to have a woman "turn" a man (in a submissive mode) into a feminine alter ego or, what he considers to be, a more ladylike version of himself. Although this fantasy raises questions concerning political correctness, gender identity, submission/dominance, etc. it can't be ignored since the transformation of the individual into a fabricated set role is basically the foundation stone of what the BDSM dynamic is. The inquirer, as you may notice, is not very specific as to what sort of scene gets played out in this session.

Is he (soon to be she) simply looking for an opportunity to parade around in gown and heels within a leather-flavored setting or is he/she looking to be a damsel in distress who gets tied up, roughed up, and punished for some yet-to-be-decided indiscretion? That's up to the submissive and this is something that, obviously, we would discuss before the session takes place. While raw, personal fantasies are very rarely politically correct, I believe that these types of scenarios should be approached with sensitivity and an extra emphasis on understanding and trust.

Gender bending and transformations are fairly typical for S&M scenes but not so typical that I am readily prepared to make the magic happen at the drop of a hat. For this type of session, the client would have to bring his own clothing, wig, and makeup to the location. Although I am pretty good at illustration, I don't really know how sharp my makeup skills would be. Hopefully the client has some previous experience applying his own glamor face because, if I were to be the one slapping on the colors, the submissive may end up looking more like a John Waters character than a Lana Turner. But maybe we can make that part of the session? For some reason, I'm really good at creating zombie/gore monsters so if you want to do, like, a submissive zombie scene or whatever, you know who to email.
Overall, I'm up for it. Glamor girls or zombies. Or glam zombies.

Q: Dear Master Aiden, do you do candle play?
A: As I mentioned in my last "Yes, Master" article, yes, I do incorporate candle play into some sessions. Candle play requires heightened focus (as you can probably imagine) since it involves fire, skin, and melted wax. Using hot wax or heat application during a scene tends to divide people; submissives either love it or hate it. Rarely do you get a someone who feels that it's "fine" or they're simply okay with candle play. Fire play is something entirely different from candle play or wax play. Fire play involves lighting 50% to 70% rubbing alcohol or other flammable substances on or very close to the skin. Although this is something that I think would be really interesting to get into, my clients wouldn't be into it. I've seen it done during a couple of BDSM shows--it's very dangerous and tends to be for extreme lifestyler types. Branding and scarification are also on my "NO" list. Call me a softie but I have no interest in setting permanent marks on my clients bodies or altering them through torture. Have I had requests for that? You bet. But here's my persepective: that brand mark that says "Property of Master Aiden" on someone's left buttcheek might be really cool for them in 2011 but they may feel very differently about it in 2018, if you know what I mean.

Q: Would you wear DayGlo for me during a session and rig up the dungeon with black lights?

A: Although, this roller disco/Ke$ha-themed scenario seems "interesting", please be aware that you would have to purchase all the blacklights and fluorescent clothes (in addition to paying your regular tribute) since my Dom garb is all black. I don't have any of these things in my regular stock. This scene sounds like a mess but, hey, at least it's unique.

Q: Where do you get your masks, Master Aiden?

A: Here are my favorite mask-makers (Google them): Frights.org, Maxx Empire, and Fantasy Guilde. I've also found some great stuff at leather markets (IML, etc.) and BDSM shoppes. One of my favorite masks I actually got at a Renaissance festival a couple of years ago. I rarely ever wear masks during sessions but they're perfect for photo shoots.

Yes, Master (Entry 31): "Maestro, Please...."

2011-03-08T09:23:00.000-08:00

Yes, Master (Entry 30): "Couples' Retreat"

2011-02-22T10:12:00.000-08:00

This is the newest article for my "Yes, Master" column that appears every other Wednesday (tomarrow) on The New Gay website.

Visit The New Gay to read some of my other entries (simply enter "Master Aiden or "Yes Master" into the search feature) as well as additional insightful columnists and writings focused LGBT-related interests.

http://thenewgay.net/

............

Recently, I had someone ask me if I ever trained couples and, if so, what is it like?

It's actually very rare for me (and I'm assuming that it's the same for other pro Masters and Mistresses) to recieve requests for couples' training. Usually it's only individuals who request sessions but, every once in a while, someone will pop out and send me that email which usually reads something along the lines of this:

"Dear Master Aiden:

My wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner and I are interested in doing a training session with you. She/He has wanted to try out S&M for a while (with her/him as the top and me as the bottom).

I would like to know how much a session like this would cost and when you would be available. We are very new at this so go easy on us and treat us like beginners.

Thank you for reading this letter, Sir, and I look forward to hearing back from you.

Respectfully,

Mr. X"

The very modern, kinky lifestyle couples usually aren't interested all that much whether the person helping guide them on their BDSM adventures is a man or a woman. It surprises me how nonchalant they usually are about that part of the equation. Sometimes it's a request for me to train a couple as a pair of experienced submissives (two slaves at the same time). If that's the case, then it's just me doing double-duty as a Master--these sessions are fun while being hectic and very busy for me (as you'd probably expect). Typically, though, if it's a request for a session involving 3 people, it probably has to do with one person generally learning how to dominate the other in the couple.

When they show up, usually introductions are very friendly and formal and, since I'm in instructor mode, I don't do a lot of the expected Master/slave roleplay dynamics since many of these newbie couples are pretty nervous and I don't want them to be freaked out. It's all about getting them acquainted with the standard BDSM equiptment, how to use that stuff properly, how to be gentle/painful/careful, and roll out a general list of many of the activities that couples can try when engaging in bondage play.

The most challenging aspect of diving into BDSM, for these established couples, is taking it seriously and becoming the actors within their own fantasies. Why is it that couples can be the most restrained when it comes to being with one another? Sometimes they can become almost conservative in that respect.....

The key for these couples--the most important and unsettling piece of the puzzle--is believing in each other as either Master/Mistress and slave. If they both genuinely have that scope of imagination for themselves and for each other, then they're already 80% good to go. BDSM IS imagination and roleplay. The rest of it is just props.

Yes, Master (Entry 29): "S! S! S! S! and M! M!"

2011-02-08T07:46:00.000-08:00

This is the newest article for my "Yes, Master" column that appears every other Wednesday (tomarrow) on The New Gay website.

http://thenewgay.net/

.................

As we all know, Rihanna is a major pop and isn't the first of them to have lyrics or imagery inspired by BDSM. But it's one thing for Britney Spears to woosh around a riding crop or whatever during a dance number (to make her seem "sassy") and it's a whole different deal altogether to dedicate an entire song, as well as a relatively expensive music video, to "S&M". As for Madonna, we'll discuss her on a different day since her descent into the fetish world requires it's own big, fat article (I'll get to it).

Using S&M as a subject concept is a way for high profile music stars to appear provacative, edgy, and sexual without going too far. By flashing images of whips, ropes, blindfolds, etc., they can touch upon taboo without getting raunchy or having to be nude. It can be an easy win-win.

I appreciate pop culture just as much as underground and subculture, so I was intrigued when I saw on Google News that Rihanna had premiered a music video online for her new single, "S&M". As a matter of fact, it's still featured on the Perez TV section of Perez Hilton's website so go ahead and check it out for yourself. After spending 20 years immersed in the darker corners of counterculture (goths, pagans, metalheads, the whole cast of "villains", you name it), I have actually become less cynical and more appreciative and accepting of what can be regarded as silly/fun/ridiculous/pop. I like a good hook and I don't disregard what's popular and commerically successful. No, it's not all "shit". I'm not a huge fan of the too-cool-for-school approach. My mind is fully open.

The first thing that I was impressed by with the Rihanna "S&M" music video was that this isn't a black on black on black dark aesthetic scheme. It's refreshing. Instead of shadows and pitch, the viewer is bombarded by pinks, greens, and yellows. Colors are always symbolic and meaningful and they work perfectly for her, especially since Rihanna is in a cartoonly colorful "full bloom" phase in her creative output and, in this video, we see her as an untouchably beautiful R&B Jessica Rabbit surrounded by goons and gimps. Watching her decked out in pink latex is a feast for the eyes, no matter which way you swing. I love that she wasn't too cautious or precious in her interpretation of how she images people fantasize. "S&M" can look like anything, especially when you're in charge of the scene. Since my whole Dom personae schtick is pretty much "Evil Prince" to sum it up generally, I wouldn't touch those candy colors with a ten-foot pole. But Rihanna is a confidant, hot-as-hell female pop star so she pulls off the alternative to the alternative color scheme without batting an eyelash.

The singer has decided to use the sadomasochistic dynamic as a metaphor for her volatile relationship with the press/media. Sometimes she's the one calling the shots while, at other times, they're the ones manipulating her. It makes sense for her to present voiceless writers (in ballgags, of course) jotting down and probably misinterpreting her every word. The pop star is both worshipped and contained, literally, in plastic wrap. The most puzzling part of the video is when we see superblogger Perez Hilton, himself, as a leashed dog-slave to Rihanna as lady of the house. This moment of the video (David LaChapelle-meets-"Edward Scissorhands") seems random within a whole set of random scenes but it brings up questions about who is obeying who. Gossip sites tear down stars. Why does Hollywood's number one loudmouth play a submissive in this case? Does he truly worship Rihanna or is this just an excuse to be in her music video? Is she above criticism? Is she another one of those pop stars that, to him, can do no wrong? Whether we want to admit it or not, bloggers and gossip sites do shape the public perceptions and careers of performers so it is attention-getting to see this guy bowing down to someone whose life he could easily adjust according to his personal whims. Interesting. All that glamour, fame, fashion, and money? It's a dangerous, give/take balance according to the video.

It's clear that the makers of the video enjoyed their playful approach while also being respectful, in my opinion, of the fetish world. Apparently someone on set knew what they were doing. I was impressed by their addition of a shibari rope arrangement (perfect for a music video) on Rihanna as well as featuring diverse revelers of fluid, questionable sexuality. And, as a BDSM pro, I thought that the short, pink single-tail whip that she uses on the journalists was an unusual, badass, and effective visual choice (do they come in black?).

The overall feeling of the song/video is one of fun and intrigue--it's naughty, sexy, harmless, personal, absurd, and strangely uplifting. Rather than presenting S&M as being dark and scary, Rihanna shows us a bright, vivid, eye-popping adult playground of her own imaginative making, exciting chains and whips included.

Yees, Master (entry 28): The First 5 Minutes

2011-01-25T09:08:00.000-08:00

This is the newest article for my "Yes, Master" column that appears every other Wednesday (tomarrow) on The New Gay website.

http://thenewgay.net/
..............

Like working out, starting at a dinner party, or jumping into a pool (or lake or ocean) of cold water, the first 5 minutes of a BDSM session are usually not everyones' favorite moments.

S&M is like many other things in the sense that it sometimes takes a few minutes in order for things to click into place. For the nervous, it can take a little while to ease into the scene that's taking place--to feel comfortable, to let themselves go, and to psychologically settle into their bondage.

For the Master or the Mistress, the first few moments of a session may require an oncoming understanding of what "type" of slave they're working with if the slave is new to them. I've found, through my experiences, that some slaves aren't 100% honest when it comes to communicating what type of slave they are and where their genuine interests are. It doesn't have as much to do with intentional dececption as it does with nervousness, shyness, and/or a lack of insight regarding their own bondage fantasies. What you say isn't always what you get. This seems to occur often with submissives who are new to the world of BDSM.

For the Dom/Domme of the scene, sometimes it takes a moment for us to cook up a plan for the pacing of a session, the kinds of tortures that will be aimed at them, which devices and bondage positions to use, and how the crescendo of the scene will take place (warm up, beginning, middle, and finale). When I first started out Domming, I remember sometimes feeling anxious about how to pace the scene so that it made sense to me and the slave; so that it was enjoyable, satisfying, and organic. Directing a BDSM session is like playing music in the sense that you want to hit the right notes at the right moments. The slave is your instrument.

At this point, I know how to pace out a session so that it makes sense to me and that foundation of anxiety is pretty much gone at this point. I have more than a few tricks up my sleeve and I have a general understanding of how every individual slave has a tendency to fall into particular slave archetypes that I'm familar with. Although no one is exactly the same, it's also a fact that no one is as "weird" as they think that they are.

I know that couples and BDSM enthusiasts sometimes fantasize about enjoying a session and then they jump into it with their play partners, the scene isn't hitting the right notes, they stop, go do something else, and then they feel disappointed with the scene or with themselves or with their play partner(s). You have to get throught the first 5 or 10 minutes, sometimes, in order to find the right tone and/or rhythm for yourselves. Don't give up. Practice, communication, knowing yourself, and knowing your partner creates the best BDSM scenes. Practice, patience, and experience makes perfect. Don't expect to love the first minutes and be aware the second, third, fourth, fifth, ect. session with your partner will inevitably be much better than your first.

I'm Watching You Watching Me

2011-01-21T02:06:00.001-08:00

I'm flattered. You know that.

You dedicated readers, you wonderfully serving slaves, my fellow Masters and Mistresses.....

If I inspire you or amuse you....If I turn you on or make you think or laugh or feel.....

Then that makes me truly happy because I know that I'm doing my job properly.

I know who you are and I'm watching you as well.

I like what I see because you're brave and beautiful, you put yourselves out there, and you take the alternative routes in life's journey.

Thoughtful rebels with heart, knowledge, objectivity, passion, and honesty.

It's a cold winter night and I just want to tell you that I love you and appreciate you and, also, THANK YOU for being you and for inspiring me.

And now I have to prepare for my session tomarrow morning......

G'night! xo

Yes, Master (entry 27): Simple Ingredients

2011-01-11T20:54:00.000-08:00

This is the newest article for my "Yes, Master" column that appears every other Wednesday on The New Gay website.

http://thenewgay.net/

..............

As I've mentioned recently, there are 2 new playspaces that I hold sessions in nowadays.

One is The Box dungeon and the other is my residence. Both have been newly created for BDSM adventure (I'll get more in-depth in my next article) and I got to thinking about what it takes, exactly, to have a perfectly functional dungeon of your very own.

Big, tricked-out, expansive spaces are great to have and are definitely enjoyable. But most enthusiasts don't have massive emporiums, filled to their brims with toys, to play in.

You don't need to have a lot of space to work with, or money to invest, in order to whip up a space sets you into the right Master or slave frame of mind.

Do you want to make a dungeon? Of course you do!

Let me help you out....

*If you have (at least) a floor, 4 walls, and a ceiling, then you have a completely acceptable foundation for a perfectly good S&M playspace.

*Curtains. Perhaps you're in the mood to be an exhibitionist but maybe your 78-year-old neighbor doesn't want to see the foolery. Blinds, shutters, shades, whatever. Privacy is a big deal.

*Noise. Don't pick the room next to the apartment building hallway. Nor should you have your dungeon next to your neighbor's dining room. Choose a room that allows for a little bit of audio leeway. And, if you live in a city or the suburbs, don't get under the impression that there is ANY place that you can scream at the top of your lungs. In BDSM, it's inevitable that there will be at least some noise. Where is the best place to set your St. Andrew's Cross so that people won't be alarmed by some whapping and moaning? Think in advance and always try to keep noise to a minimum. Also, be sure to have some decent mood music going.

*Paint it black. Do you want a dungeon in your place but none of the rooms look appropriate? Paint it black and/or white and there you go. Graphic basics enable you to settle into the bondage mood much easier without distracting visuals.

*One or two lamps. Or candlelight. Too much light is annoying. Color gels, if you're going for that tacky, sleazy 80's vibe, are available at all theatre supply stores and websites. Red lights against black and/or white rooms create a sexy, hellish atmosphere. Yes, I realize how cheesey that is.....but it works.

*Although I'm, at this point, well-stocked with an array of whips, chains, and whatnot, that doesn't mean that you need to spend devastating amounts of money on toys and clothes in order to play Master and servant. Just buy some ropes, a paddle, a riding crop, and some toy handcuffs to begin with--some of the very basic basics. If you and your partner(s) enjoy BDSM ,and it's something that you want to continue with in some capacity, then your kinky toy inventory will build up as time goes on. But you have to get a few of the classic toys, at least, to start off with. Allow yourself to blow one or two hundred, run to the sex shoppe, and begin your collection!

*I've been to plenty of dungeons and plenty of play parties. All the space, installations, toys, gears, pulley systems, whatever, don't compensate for a lack of dynamic. If you and your play partner have a great connection, then you're set. No amount of money can buy chemistry and enthusiasm. YOU and your partner are the stars of the show--not the dungeon, not the toys. Which is good to think about before you spend $12,000 on the newest fucking and spanking machine. Just saying.

Yes, Master (entry 26): Best Of 2010

2010-12-21T08:58:00.000-08:00

The EIC at The New Gay wanted me to whip up a last-minute "Best Of BDSM" for 2010 so here it is!

This is the newest article for my "Yes, Master" column that appears every other Wednesday on The New Gay website. Visit The New Gay to read some of my other entries (simply enter "Master Aiden or "Yes Master" into the search feature) as well as additional insightful columnists and writings focused LGBT-related interests.
http://thenewgay.net/

..............

The BDSM world is interesting because it's always fluctuating and, yet, always remains the same. I think that's why people love it so much--there's that stable foundation of reliable "comforts" as well as a consistant number of new surprises popping up that you can depend on year after year. Technology evolves and innovative toy-makers create new and wonderful ways to initiate erotic torture.

I usually like the classics. Sometimes the stuff that seems too trendy or too hyped-up usually loses its flavor and tends to fade out after a little while. But not always.

At any rate here is my, and only my, opinion on what make up the Best Of BDSM at this moment.

Best Of BDSM 2010:

-Rubber Paddles. Not only do they provide a very meaty whallop at first strike, they actually bend/bounce back and hit you again all on their own. What good sports!

-Metal Chains As Bondage. It's my medieval side coming out. And, no, they don't hurt as much as you might think. The sound, the look, the no-nonsense of it all are completely awesome.

-Hog Nips. Rubber suction cups that you apply to the nipples to temporarily swell them, increasing sensitivity and tweakability. Good times.

-Fetishwear Outside Of Leather. Yes, leather is king in the BDSM community but it's also great to see kinky types venturing outside of expensive, hard-to-completely-clean animal hides. More rubber, spandex, pleather, vinyl, and darlex are welcome and, from what I can tell, many others in the scene agree with me.

-My Leather (contradicting myself already) Bondage Gloves. Hang them from the ceiling and now you're hanging from the ceiling.

-The Violet Wand. Stimulation and fireworks for hours of fun. Just keep it below the waistline.

-Hot Wax. So simple, so old-school, so easy, so dependable. Works every time to raise the tension of a scene.

-Sara Wrap Mummification. Want a nice, fun activity for a slow Saturday afternoon?

-Clips and Clamps. Whether they're wood, metal, or rubber, climps and clamps are always and forever the best way of showing someone who's the boss.

-Single Tail Whips. Create lines and designs while you practice your aim. Everybody wins!

Yes, Master (entry 25): Assume Nothing

2010-12-15T00:13:00.001-08:00

http://thenewgay.net/

............

"Sometimes the more experience, the less you know."

But not quite in this case.

It's more like "The more experience, the less you go about assuming things."

That's my take when it comes to working with new BDSM slaves. One of the biggest misconceptions about S&M is that there is anything along the lines of a one-size-fits-all experience.

Every submissive likes to be paddled, right? And they all like to be tied up?

All the slaves want to be sworn at, swatted at, mistreated?

All of them want to kiss your boots and call you "Master"?

No. Not quite. Not at all.

BDSM is complex and nuanced but not only in general--it's also completely unique, complex, nuanced, and complicated on every case-by-case basis. No two slaves are the same.

When I first started out, I wasn't completely naive enough to think that everyone wanted the same thing but I had no idea that, for some submissives, even the supposedly standard Master and slave relationship is not a given. Everyone enjoys a different set of experiences and tonalities. And, because they're in a variety of vulnerable positions, the slaves are especially sensitive and every good Master and Mistress has to be tuned in to their needs and undeniable individualities.

Not everybody wants to be whipped and some people, actually, really hate nipple clamps. Just because they're a "slave" doesn't mean that they enjoy being tied up and set hanging from the rafters. As a matter of fact, it may be a huge turnoff for them.

There is clearly room to push boundries, to create completely fresh experiences, and to introduce surprizes in BDSM dynamics. However.....it's always important for everyone to have fun and to address why it is that they're creating the scene to begin with.

Always talk to your play partners, in depth, before you begin your sessions. Never assume that what you've seen in cartoons, illustrations, erotic works, and films will be what your partner is truly after. Like so many things in life, BDSM is never that simple.

Yes, Master (entry 24): Questions and Answers

2010-12-01T08:46:00.000-08:00

This is an article for my "Yes, Master" column that appears every other Wednesday on The New Gay website. Visit The New Gay to read some of my other entries (simply enter "Master Aiden or "Yes Master" into the search feature) as well as additional insightful columnists and writings related to LGBT interests.

http://thenewgay.net/

.......................

Q: Dear Master Aiden, would you ever kidnap me in public?

A: Kidnapping fantasies are pretty typical but I can't "kidnap" someone in public due to confusion that can be caused by witnesses possibly (probably) not understanding the context in which the "kidnapping" is taking place. Being a Dom is edgy enough as it is. Let's keep the Master/slave dynamics reserved for within the dungeon walls. Understand? Of course you do.

Q: Do you have a St. Andrew's Cross that you can bind me to?

A: Indeed I do. There is are conventional, wooden x-style St. Andrew's Crosses at a couple of the dungeons that I frequent as well as a medieval torture chamber-style chain/shackles set, at my private dungeon, that serves a similar purpose.

Q: Have you ever done something that you regret?

A: Haven't we all? Do you mean to a slave? If that's what you're asking than the answer is "very, very rarely".

Q: Would you ever do some fetish modeling for me?

A: No. The only photoshoots that I participate in are 100% orchestrated by me. That way I can stay within the tonal framework that I feel suits my particular approach to professional Domming.

Q: Would you ever dominate me along with another pro Master or Mistress?

A: Yes, we can do that but, as every 21st century person knows, coordinating schedules can be difficult unto itself so as long as everything is fully scheduled out far in advance, a multi-Dom/Domme session is available.

Q: What do you look for in a slave?

A: True, actual obedience. Good communication as well as being a good sport.

Yes, Master (entry 23): Viva Variety

2010-11-16T08:42:00.000-08:00

This is an article for my "Yes, Master" column that appears every other Wednesday on The New Gay website; it will be featured there tomarrow. Visit The New Gay to read some of my other entries (simply enter "Master Aiden or "Yes Master" into the search feature) as well as additional insightful columnists and writings related to LGBT interests.

http://thenewgay.net/

.....................

The BDSM world has it's traditions, it's cliches, it's standards, what it's known to be and stand for.

But what is not expressed enough is how important it is to stay true to your individuality, to your particular interests, rather than caving to the traditions and trends that don't suit you and your personality.

More than ever, the bondage/fetish scene is multifaceted. Rather than splintering the scene, I believe that it makes it stronger in it's variety and sparks new and unusual interests for others. The standards that were once thought to be ultimate (leather, humilation, dog collars, etc.) are still intact but are no longer taken for granted. For example, it seems that there are just as many kinksters who are or have switched from leather to rubber gear. There are plenty of slaves who are intolerant of feeling humilated--mutual respect and a more back-and-forth playful dynamic is increasingly emerging within the scene. And, certainly, not every submissive is interested in being collared. These are, obviously, just a couple tiny tips of the iceberg.

For Doms and Dommes as well, we have (and should have) our own ways of doing things, our own interests, yes's, no's, favorites. Never assume that Dominants are interchangeable. The experience that you may have serving one Dom does not necessarily hint at what will happen when you're with another Dom.

BDSM is about freedom of exploration, originality, fetish indulgence, and novelty. Ironically, I don't personally see it as anything remotely connected to REAL restraint or limitation that you haven't already imposed on yourself. What makes "bondage" and "discipline" valuable is that you and your play partner are fully responsible for the variety of experiences that you endure. If something seems "weird" (even for the fetish scene and, yes, there are niches within niches) but interests and suits you, then go for it. But, at the same time, just because an activity or tone seems "standard" or "a given" withing BDSM, doesn't mean that you shouldn't just completely reject it if it doesn't suit your personality or interests. What I think sometimes limits participation within the bondage/fetish scene is the feeling that in order to be involved in or practice BDSM, that you MUST be into A, B, and C, etc. This simply isn't true.

BDSM consists of what you CHOOSE for it to consist of within your own life. The idea that there is a particular framework that you must fit within in order to feel included as part of that world is irrelevent. Kink is about variety, following your own interests, setting your own standards, breaking cliches, and then exploring within or outside whatever circle of experiences that you, whether a Dom or a sub, are the master of creating.

Yes, Master (Entry 16): "Give A Man A Mask...."

2010-07-14T07:17:00.000-07:00

This article appears as my latest entry to my "Yes, Master" column on The New Gay website. A new "Yes, Master" article appears every other Wednesday on their site.

http://thenewgay.net/
.................

One of the things about BDSM that people want to discuss is the whole deal with masks and pseudonymns. What makes masks so appealing? And what's up with the silly names?

It's not about deception--it's about tradition and transformation.

Masks are symbols. They transform the face with different colors, lines, and shapes that edge closer to creating another person through appearance. Masks are sometimes worn in session depending on the tastes of the Master or Mistress and on the requests of certain slaves. Both Tops and bottoms may choose to wear masks in order to tap into their alternative personaes.

One of the standard traditions in the bondage world is choosing another name for yourself as either a Dom/Domme or submissive. It seperates you from the cares and inhibitions of the "regular" side of your life. You're, literally, a new person with a new name and seperate identity. You can do more, explore more, and express yourself in ways that may seem foreign to the rest of your life. Stepping into a dungeon, you're no longer the mild-mannered gentleman or lady. Of course, the standard social rules are still intact in many ways but you're now a different entity with possibly different interests and identifications from the self that you're more typically aquainted with.

Needless to say, most BDSM lifestylers are aware that this sort of play is still considered taboo to many people and having a pseudonym is a way of blurring your regular life from the shadowy world of whips and ropes. Even though we live in a continually progressive society, there's still a certain social upkeep that we have to maintain on some levels and masks/pseudonyms help construct those private walls. Slave names and Master/Mistress names can also give an idea to scenesters as to what kind of personality you have as a Top or a bottom. For instance, my name (Master Aiden) was chosen deliberately to hint at a certain level of practicality and realism that suits my personae as a Dom. It's not a bombastic name--it's believable and somewhat traditional; modern and old-fashioned. Like me.
Masks and play names allow a sense of freedom and newness when stepping into the bondage world. For many people in the scene, anonymity is the one ingredient that allows them to explore their true desires.

Yes, Master (entry 9): Traveling

2010-04-06T09:55:00.000-07:00

This article was written for my "Yes, Master" column for The New Gay website. A new "Yes, Master" article appears every other Wednesday.

http://thenewgay.net/

.......................

Nothing brings the whole S&M world completely back down to earth like the logistics involved in bringing gear from point A to point B. By "gear" I'm referring to all the good stuff that makes a Master dominant (paddles, boots, leather gloves, rope, chains) and a slave submissive (collars, clamps, cuffs, gags, etc.).

As you can imagine, privacy and discretion hold top priority. Everything has to be covered. No, you can't have whips popping out of Target bags so you have to be extra cautious in how you take all your toys out of your house, into your vehicle, and over to your point of destination.

I have about 3 or 4 leather travel bags that I use only for carrying gear as well as a number of miniscule containers that I use to hold smaller items. Since a lot of BDSM equiptment is black, it can be helpful to keep organized so that black on black on black toys don't get lost in the shadows of dark duffle bags with infinite pockets. Everything fits in there from leather paddles to cock rings. Once items are used during play, I keep them in seperate black plastic bags (you can see through white) so that I know that everything within needs to be properly washed and sanitized once I return back home. Sometimes it seems to me that a large portion of my Masterhood is pretty clinical when it comes to the correct treatment of intimate items, safety, and cleanliness.

The one wild card is my riding crop which is long, unbendable, and doesn't fit within any regular travel bag. I have a poster container which is what I use to carry around the riding crop when going to visit slaves outside of the dungeon. It's the perfect size and looks completely inconspicuous when exiting a public building. Privacy is the name of the game.

When I go to visit slaves, I don't look like a BDSM Master. I have my black t-shirt, my black cargo pants, and my Doc Martens boots. Matching these with my travel bags and "poster" container, I look like a slightly goth graphic designer going to work on a presentation rather than a dungeon Dom coming to whip someone's ass. If the session calls for it, I can bring clothes to the destination point and then change inside once I'm there. Can I just go strolling into a hotel looking like one of Lady Gaga's backup dancers? No, clearly not. My slaves wouldn't appreciate that nor do I want any further attention whatsoever when in public. This is the way that it has to be when it comes to maintaining the privacy required to keep the Master/slave dynamic discreet outside the playspace walls. It's easier to have sessions within a dungeon space--all the gear is there, you can dress more S&M, and there's less to worry about. Plenty of my slaves, however, require that I come to them so there has to be a regular procedure in order to make things work.
If you're going someplace that's further than a car or subway train ride, then you will probably have to skip the riding crop and pack all your cuffs, masks, and paddles into regular suit cases. Those traveling via airplane, have to be relatively grown up about the possibility of a total stranger digging through your bag and discovering your vinyl jockstrap. No one cares that you're into S&M and the people at the airport definitely see a number of personal items, from all walks of life, on a daily basis so don't make it into a bigger deal than what it is.

The S&M lifestyle requires all sorts of paraphernalia so you have to just embrace some of the unavoidable, less-sexy, common sense necessities involved in making those fantasies a reality. Once you're with your Master, Mistress, or slave, safely surrounded by the private playspace walls, then all the gear travel will be worthwhile.

FAQ's

2010-03-19T20:56:00.000-07:00

Q: As a long-time Dom, what is it that you specialize in?

A: I specialize in Bondage, Discipline, Impact, Fetish, and Roleplay.

Q: What is a tribute? What is it for?

A: A tribute is a gift to your Master; it's a sign of respect for his time, attention, knowledge, and expertise.

Q: What will my first session be like?

A: All first-time slaves will be required to have a brief interview/discussion with me before your session begins. This is not part of your 75 minute session--it's simply a quick conversation before we start. This way, I can decide which punishments are suitable for you. We will also discuss your limits and I can address any questions that you may have.

Q: May I have my wife/spouse/partner attend a session with us?

A: Absolutely. There is no extra tribute necessary.

Q: How long have you been a Dom?

A: I got into the BDSM lifestyle in 2000 and became a Master in 2006.

Q&A's (more)

2010-02-04T11:07:00.000-08:00

Lots of questions this week.

Q: Are you a devil worshipper?

A: No. Actually I'm a radical agnostic on good days and an atheist on bad days. (Truth)

Q: Where did you grow up?

A: I grew up right outside Detroit. Is this all making sense now? (haha) No, I don't know Eminem and Kid Rock but I do know people who were/are friends with them (supposedly).

Q: What shoe/boot size do you wear?

A: 10 1/2 (sometimes 11)

Q: As a Dom, are you angry? Are you ever REALLY beating the crap out of people?

A: Doing Dom work is an exercise in roleplay. If I was ever REALLY pissed off at a slave, then I wouldn't be doing a session with them. I don't think that it would be smart, for anyone, to engage in BDSM when the mood wasn't right. On another note, I tend not to be an angry person. I'm outspoken, direct, a boss, etc. but I'm not a rager. When I am pissed off, it very rarely has to do with someone who's a slave of mine. For those people that I do get pissed off at, yeah, sometimes I do want to take the flogger to them but not necessarily in a hot way.

MasterAidenBDSM.com

2010-01-23T23:20:00.000-08:00

All information that is on the MasterAidenBDSM.com website can be found on here as well.

It's an older site format that I've had for a long time but I still update it a few times a year while this blog is updated at least once a week.

But if you like both (hey, who doesn't to some degree......?), then you can visit my website as well:

http://www.masteraidenbdsm.com/

Yes, Master (entry 4): "A Matter of Understanding"

2010-01-04T20:47:00.000-08:00

Sometimes one of my challenges can be communicating why it is exactly that people are into the spanking, bondage, ballgags, roleplay, nipple clamps, etc.

For those of you who are into this kind of stuff, no explanation is really needed. Many people feel comfortable just saying "Because it's hot!" or "It just IS!" and leave it at that (which may be the best way to approach it).

BDSM is kind of polarizing for most folks, especially once you get into the more obscure or heavy-duty practices so I'm going to try explaining what it is exactly that makes the blood boil.

Keep in mind, this is just me theorizing through my own experiences so take it all with a grain of salt; it doesn't, by any stretch of the imagination, reflect the overall thoughts of the BDSM community since all experiences/feelings are unique to each individual.

Why do people enjoy being vulnerable and getting tied up?

Part of it has to do with the relief connected to loss of control. I strongly believe that it's similar to why people enjoy going on rollercoasters. It's a thrill. You're going on a ride, through your own helplessness, and anything could happen. Secondly, it's the focus on the slave. You're the center of attention, you're in the spotlight. Possibly, depending on the scene and those involved, the erogenous zones of the body are being addressed and manipulated through an outside force. There is, undoubtably, a strong element of the rape fantasy coming into play. Most don't admit to this fantasy yet all have dreamed it at some point. You are, more or less, being ravished OR in a position in which that could possibly occur (and, for some, the possibility is just as good if not better than the actualization). You are in a state of forced surrender and this can provide a psychological lift/vacation. You give up responsibility. And who doesn't want that every once in a while? But I believe that the cornerstone of masochism is undivided attention. The Master, when punishing a slave, has the slave and only the slave as their world during that moment. Think of it as a song being played only for you....

What about spanking, whipping, pain?

First, let's talk about roleplay which is linked to the appeal of pain. Even a hardcore masochist wouldn't go "Oooh, yeah, that feels so good...." when they get a papercut or stub their toe. The reason why people like the pain in BDSM play is because of who is creating that pain. It's someone they're attracted to, intrigued by, or someone that they want in control of their manipulation--it's all about who is pulling the levers. The application of pain is a form of sacrifice and connecting point between the slave and the Master or Mistress even though I know that some people would find that weird. What it boils down to is that line of electricity between two beings. Some people want kisses, others want spankings. The difference is in the delivery. And those people who like pain are only (usually) turned on by certain kinds of pain, not all pain in general. Similar to food tastes. Some people like tomatoes, others don't. Sure you could try to psychoanalyze or bring up some Freudian reasons as to why tomatoes appeal (or don't) to this person or that person and in the process just cook up all kinds of false conclusions for the satisfaction of supposed finality. That's done all the time. Saying "Mytery solved!" as though you're going to get a certificate in the mail or whatever but, in truth, there is no means of reaching a firm conclusion. It just is.

You'd assume that people who are into heavy belting, for example, are reliving some past childhood trauma which is manifesting as a perverted sexual stimuli. For some slaves, sure, this is the case but you'd be surprised how many of those whipped individuals never recieved corporal punishment by any authority figure at any time in the past. They just thought that it seemed sexy--maybe they saw a belting scene in a movie or a porn magizine. Once they grew up, they tried out that fantasy and the rest is history. Yes, sometimes it is that simple.

For the Dom/Domme (the person in control), the appeal is the power involved and/or your desire towards the slave. Since I happen to be a huge control freak in my life outside the dungeon, being a Master suits me because it indulges who I am already. I really am bossy and hyper-focused so, of course, I love being able to transer that energy into a session. It makes me happy and, since I have a voyeuristic streak in me (big time), I get to see every twitch and sensation that they're going through with the satisfying awareness that I'm the one causing it. The connection that I have with some slaves is unbelieveably pleasing.

Everyone, no matter how far you try to run or how much you have to hide behind, is a freak when it comes to eroticism. Everyone. Whether or not they admit to their wishes or, further yet, have the audacity to live them out is a different deal. Most don't. But swirling around in the back of your mind is a hellfire of decadent, twisted fantasy that would make even the Marquis de Sade blush. Yes, I know your secrets. That's my job [wink]. Your frumpy boss at work is a freak with sick, awesome daydreams. The same goes for your partner, your best friend, your minister (especially....), your parents, your siblings, and that guy who sitting on the bus right next to you. Uncomfortable yet? You shouldn't be. You know all this stuff already.

BDSM is an outlet for those who have the bravery to address their fantasies (whatever those may be) in realtime and, very importantly, the maturity to psychoemotionally process their adventures the next morning after. Those who are invested in the lifestyle skip the guilt and embrace their natural erotic freedom.

Eroticism, of any kind, between any dynamic, has to do with sensation and power. There is no exception. BDSM is just that volume cranked up past 5. There are toys, costumes, pretend situations, and bizarre contraptions involved (sometimes) but it comes from the same fountain installed in every other adult's life. The leather, the chains, the collars are the internal externalized, the sexual subconcious let out to play.

I realize that many of the practices and aesthetics of the bondage world can often seem extreme but just keep in mind that what these people look like on the outside is what you may look like on the inside. Whether we like it or not, there are no set maps and there are no conclusions. Everyone's reason for the lifestyle is unique or there may be no reason at all. Every sexual adult can relate in their innate understanding of the erotic subconcious. The wilderness is vast, varied, and highly complex. We're all part of it and we all are aware of it. Judging the desires of others is laughable considering all the scandalous shit that inevitably bubbles up in your skull.

Infinite Mystery: enjoy it, live it, play responsibly, and respect variety. It just is.

In the next entry, we'll discuss the depths of BDSM and the shadow side of the gay psyche.

Master Aiden

2009-12-30T15:02:00.000-08:00

[Updated 01-05-12]
.............................................
I am a pro BDSM Dom, a writer, and a photographer.

I have been a lifestyle practitioner of Bondage-Discipline-Sadism-Masochism techniques for a decade and a Master since 2006. My curiosity knows no bounds and my understanding of the bondage world is expansive to say the least. I work with well-versed submissives as well as with novices.

For personal slaves and clients, I conduct sessions out of my own dungeon playspace. Or if a slave needs me to come to them, that can be arranged as well. When I am not punishing slave boys and girls, I write a kink column ("Yes, Master") based on my experiences as a Dom and my interest in BDSM art, literature, and history. I also do S&M art photography for scenesters, kinksters, clients, and for my own blog and website.

As a Dom, I have my rules, my perspectives, my do's, my don'ts, and my ways of operating. I've seen it all, done it all, and have my definite favorites.
Being a genuine, experienced Master, I never resort to dangerous or destructive behavior towards my submissives. My means of Domination and my understanding of slaves is unmatched. I stand for Truth, Courage, Experimentation, Indulgence, Sensation, and Transcendence. I am cruel when need be and a gentleman always.

I see into the souls of my submissives and have the skills to control them. I know what they need, desire, fear, and what they can handle. Strict and clear always, thoughtless never.

My slaves are sharp, intellectual, successful, and well-spoken; the best slaves deserve the best Master. Submit to temptation and join me in BDSM adventure!

Lectures Are Good But Conversations Are Better

2009-11-28T07:49:00.000-08:00

Poor Lois Lane......maybe if she could state her case then Superman would understand where she was coming from. But then again, I'm sure that she enjoys the punishment that's being dished out.

But not everyone would get into it, I guess.

With this whole writing columns for TNG endeavor, I like the fact that everyone has their own opinions, experiences, feelings, etc. when it comes to BDSM.

It is a complex, multi-faceted topic and kind of an inkblot in the sense that it is completely unique to every person and we all do things and see things differently.

I can handle counterpoints.

I don't want or need everyone to agree with me. It would be pretty disappointing and pathetic (and dangerous!) if everyone just nodded their heads along with the song all the time. My views are open to discussion and sometimes I can benefit from having people state or point things out from another perspective.

This is a Good Thing.

I want to hear all voices whether they're argumentative or agreeable.

I've always believed that men and women with any sort of backbone and strength should be able to make their case or put up a good argument when need be. Nobody is omnipotent. Not even Masters and Mistresses.

Lectures are good but conversations are better.

The "Yes, Master" Column

2009-11-24T17:24:00.001-08:00

When I'm not training my slaves, I'm a contributing writer for The New Gay blog run out of Washington D.C. The New Gay is the Online Resource for Alternative Queer Events and Ideas. My column, called "Yes, Master", focuses on the BDSM world, my life as a professional Dom, counterculture art, and whatever else catches my attention.

Visit The New Gay website here:

http://thenewgay.net/

Simply enter "Master Aiden" or "Yes Master" into the search feature on their site and read away:)

Feel free, also, to the explore The New Gay blog and it's many interesting articles and writers. It's a terrific website!

Yes, Master (entry 2): "Have It Your Way"

2009-11-24T13:17:00.000-08:00

[ This posting has been created for The New Gay website based out of Washington D.C. Master Aiden will be a regular contributing writer with his "Yes, Master" column. Visit TNG at: http://thenewgay.net/ ]

"Yes, Master" (entry 2): "Have It Your Way"
............................

My new slaves are often nervous.

I can see why.

The media stereotypes portray BDSM as highly-dangerous, wild, and always-uncomfortable for every slave no matter who you are or what your personal preferences may be; implying that these scenes MUST involve elements that you yourself may not be interested or that you MUST feel pain in order for a situation to be truly sadomasochistic.

But, my friends, it doesn't have to be that way.

Some slaves do, in fact, want the heavy leather masks and bodysuits (yes, just like The Gimp in "Pulp Fiction"; "Bring out the gimp!!!!!"), the lacerating and bloody whipping scenes, the pain, the torture, etc. and so on.

But BDSM doesn't have to be that way if that's not where you want to go.

Why do some people want the heavy duty, freaky-deaky shit? Because it turns them on. The pain stimulates pleasure for them and/or the scenario creates the embodiment of a fantasy.

All my slaves are 100% different from each other.

Not all of them want lesions on their backs or welts on their asses (although many of them do).

Some of my slaves just want to be lightly tied up, gently spanked, and forced to lick my boots which, although, that can seem like a "weird" or kinky situation for some of those who aren't very familiar with BDSM, isn't very hardcore in the slightest.

And that's fine. There's nothing wrong with that if that's what makes them happy.

What, in my opinion, happens sometimes with the whole leather and whips world is that people who are simply curious about spanking and bondage get really freaked out or scared off by the more extreme aspects of S&M that only some people enjoy.

This is not a contest to see who can be "harder" or more tough than the next Master and slave. I know that it can become that way which, to me, takes on a "Jackass" (that TV show where these guys put themselves through all sorts of physical shananigans for the sake of.....for the sake of what exactly?) element rather than actually delving into what the point of BDSM which is to indulge what might be considered the more dark or taboo genuine desires of a person's private sensuality. There has been a certain "I'm going to show everyone how hardcore I am by doing this, this, and this even though that's not what really turns me on" tub of bullshit going on for a while in the BDSM community. My slaves must explore who they truly are, what the roots of their fetishes are, rather than simply creating a circus scenario that avoids the deeper subjects.

If the gateway for you is wearing leather while someone is applying pain to your chest area (for example), then that's what should be addressed.

Or if you only like the idea of your Master or Mistress being the angry school teacher while you're the disobedient student, then let's head into the classroom.

Maybe a slave just wants to have their hands tied behind their back, kneeling on the floor, while they're being told what a worthless piece of scum they are, then I'm more than happy to oblige.

Or (think of it this way) maybe you just want your boyfriend or girlfriend to whip out the fuzzy handcuffs and give you and little spank-spank before fucking, then that's completely fine too.

The point is: Tell Your Partner If You Want To Try A Little BDSM.

Have some bravery. If they're scared off by it, then that means that they're boring and you should just break up with them (just kidding......sort of....).

BDSM does NOT have to be scary or painful if you don't want it to be. Perhaps it's just the aesthetics of it or the roleplay element that really turns you on; not so much the torture and pain that only some people enjoy.

Sexuality, and how it's expressed, is such a wide and far-reaching spectrum that's it's kind of tragic how people limit themselves to only certain activities. Are you curious about something? Then try it out. The worst that can happen is that you try it out, don't like it, and then say to yourself and/or your partner "Nah, it was cool but it's not for me." No big deal, no love lost.

Go into a leather store. Go into a sex shoppe. The people there are always nice and open-minded. They're not going to judge you or make creepy comments. Shop around and take notice of what makes your imagination respond in the best ways.

You want to try out something risque with another consensual adult? Then go for it! Don't be a big wimp. Life is too short for that so just go and enjoy yourself.

Take note: No matter how "vanilla" someone professes themself to being, they're lying. We're all weird, we're all a bunch of perv's, and we're all kinky. Everybody--no exceptions.

Saying "I would like some S&M" doesn't necessarily mean that you have to end up hanging by your ankles over an aligator pit while being thrashed relentlessly with a bullwhip. Sure, you could be that edgy if you want to (feed the aligators first) but that's not truly necessary for you to have an enjoyable evening.

So grab a weapon to add to your love life, find your boyfriend, and tell him to take it like a man. Even if it's a short, sweet second and you don't hit him very hard with your Dollar Tree paddle ball paddle. At least you tried something new.

And it's more than possible that you'll both get a rise out of it.

BDSM is fun. Try it out to whatever degree you feel comfortable with.

Contact

2009-10-16T13:10:00.000-07:00

Master-Aiden@hotmail.com

[UPDATED 01-05-12]

*Sessions are available 7 days a week.

*The suggested tribute is $150 per standard 70-minute BDSM session. Extended sessions are available upon request. There are no extra fee's for Outcalls, play parties, etc.

*As for locations, you have the following options:
-Incall at my private dungeon in Chicago
-Outcall at your residence or lodging in Chicago or nearby city
-Chicago dungeon clubs or play parties (weekends only; established slaves only)

*My schedule fills up fast so be sure to send your session request as far in advance as you're able to do so. At least 24 hours in advance is required.

*Be sure to read the Rules and Ethics section so that we can be certain that we're on the same page.

*What sort of slave are you? Be inspired by the Tortures and Fetishes section and let me know what excites you.

*Still need pointers? Visit the How To Schedule A Session page.

Master Aiden's Main Gallery

2009-10-16T12:04:00.000-07:00

[UPDATED 01-05-12]

Welcome to the The Main Gallery for Master Aiden images. Photos by LBJ, TD, and RockS with Master Aiden.

Ethics

2009-10-12T02:45:00.000-07:00

Games for Grownups
.....................................

Valuing freedom of expression, Doms and Dominatrixes are nonjudgemental alternative lifestyles experts who help their slaves explore their individual personalities using Bondage-Discipline-Sadism-Masochism scenarios. It's an extremely insightful form of psychoemotional/physical exercise designed for people who enjoy being submissive to a Dominant individual in imaginative roleplay.

We offer legitimate adult entertainment orchestrated by experienced BDSM lifestylers. BDSM is it's own unique world in which going with an established Master or Mistress is highly recommended due to the obvious safety, conduct, and hygenic concerns associated with this sort of play. Whether or not you decide to go with me or with another provider, I seriously urge submissives to play only with Dominants possessing a broad range of experience: ones who know what they're doing, how to properly care for a submissive, and how to keep sessions within a constructive framework.

Terms such as "slave", "bondage", "kidnapping", etc., when taken in the context of a BDSM scenario, are simply fantasy words used to initiate roleplay between participants and DO NOT in any way, shape, or form relate to nonconsensual acts, human trafficking, crime, or social disorder. "Slave" is a term of endearment meaning an adult who enjoys being submissive during a BDSM scene. I do not condone or even consider any activities that would be in any way truly hurtful, negative, or exploitative for any person. I, personally, will not work with any individual under the age of 25 or anyone who seems to have a conflicted relationship with BDSM. It's important to me that my bondage play partners are mature and having a great time.

As an experienced Master, I am able to differentiate between what is fun and games between consenting adults and what is exploitative. Limits and boundaries are always communicated beforehand and respected within session. My slaves are fully aware that I deal only with BDSM play between lucid and fully consenting adults.

How To Schedule a Session

2009-10-11T08:55:00.000-07:00

1. Be sure to read the Rules and Ethics page on this blog so that you can be certain that my services are right for you.

2. Contact me at: Master-Aiden@hotmail.com . Within your email, make sure that you include the specific date, time, and location of the session that you're requesting. Tell me what your BDSM likes/dislikes are, any health or allergy concerns, etc.

3. If you're nervous about doing a session, and would like to meet up first, let me know so that we can arrange a no-stress discussion of what your interests are, what it's like to have a session with a pro Dom, any questions that you may have, etc. Office hours vary from week to week so be sure to contact me for available times.

4. Submit and enjoy.

"Yes, Master" (Entry 1)

2009-10-06T11:33:00.000-07:00

[Article for The New Gay blog, Chicago Chapter]

My name is Master Aiden and I am a professional BDSM Dom in Chicago, IL.

After dishing out various lessons both psychological and physical to my slaves/clients, I myself have learned PLENTY of things through my work.

Because it's October (my favorite month) and October is the 10th month in the year, here are 10 Life Lessons that I've learned through my job:

1.) Following "the rules" can get you into a lot of trouble.

Being a professional Dom is kind of taboo. So, in my opinion, is being a good boy who works at shitty, conventional jobs earning flimsy amounts of change that barely cover rent and you have to end up skipping meals. Unacceptable. And, yes, poverty wears on you in shocking and sneaky ways that you don't necessarily see coming until after they strike. I should have been beating ass and cashing in starting on my 18th birthday. That would have been the proper thing to do. Which leads me to Lesson #2........

2.) Never, Ever, Ever put up with people's bullshit.

This world is a jungle. We are animals. If an animal attacks you, you (by the laws of nature) have the right and responsibility to annihilate them. Especially if you didn't deserve it. This goes for your boss, your in-laws, your co-worker, or your spouse. Be nice to your kids, though, or they'll smother you in your sleep when you're 86. So watch out for that. If you allow them to, people will steamroll over you. You have the choice of being "too nice" or fighting. For much of my life, I made the mistake of being "too nice". I've learned that it's better to fight, my friends. Gay Community.....Are you listening? Or are you just hoping that everyone will come around to loving and accepting you? Fight. Case closed.

3.) Read "The Prince" by Niccolò Machiavelli.

All those self-help books at Barnes & Noble? You've got to be kidding me. There's only one book that is appropriate for navigating through humanity and that's the one thin book currently sitting on my nightstand......

4.) Keep a schedule or personal planner and stick to it.

Afraid that you're not getting your stuff done? Then maybe you need to keep an itinerary, you lazy shit!

5.) Never expect people to do anything for you; never depend on anyone.

You're born alone and you die alone, Sunshine.

6.) Don't be afraid to fall in love.

As awful as people can be, every once in a while you'll encounter someone truly amazing. Don't throw them by the wayside just because you're cynical. It's much braver to open your heart than to turn into an emotional miser. We only have a certain number of chances in life and, once you use them up, you can't buy anymore.

7.) Authority is a game and an illusion.

Are you aware of that? You do realize that what you give away and what you follow is your choice? Once you take that away from the reciever, it's definition crumbles into dust. You chose what you worship and that's what gives it power. Or you can pull the plug.

8.) Don't take things too seriously.

Because they sure the fuck aren't taking you too seriously either. Having a sense of humor puts things into perspective unlike anything else.

9.) Return phone calls or people will think that you're an asshole. Word gets around......

10.) You are not the center of the universe.

You never were, you aren't now, and you never will be. Once you are gone, the world will get on fine without you. You want to make an impression? Earn your keep, be a considerate person, add to the world rather than take away, laugh when someone tells you a joke. Make an effort.
...........................

Master Aiden will be exploring different subjects throughout his "Yes, Master" column, with a focus on the professional Dom lifestyle, the BDSM Community, unconventional subcultures, and interesting art.

He hopes to be one of your favorite new villains.

24 Hours in Advance

2009-09-23T22:47:00.001-07:00

Q: Dear Master Aiden,

Would you be able to have a session with me last-minute tonight?

A: The reason why Doms and Dominatrixes need 24 hours advance notice is because of the special maintainance required for BDSM gear, proper cleaning, and dungeon scheduling/upkeep.

All that stuff that we use on slaves has to be sterilized and that's not counting the dungeon gear itself which also needs special treatment and (last but not least) gotta clean the clothes and boots. The 24-hours advance notice isn't just to be aloof and difficult (maybe for some pro's, that's a part of it hahaha) but it's really a matter of cleaning and scheduling. As boring as that sounds, it's the truth and that's why we have to schedule our slaves well ahead of time.

Likes/Dislikes

2009-09-21T23:24:00.000-07:00

I appreciate that email, R, and I find it amusing. It's a good, quick topic so here we go.....

(this is like a 1st grade questionnaire, and I do feel kind of ridiculous answering these questions but there's value to simplicity, right? Right.)

..................

Favorite Color:

Black. Green. Red. Purple. Gold. Silver. White.

Food:

Meat! Sushi, steak, chicken. Green peppers. cherries, chocolate, coffee, anything peppermint. whole wheat bread.

Ideal residence:

Chicago, baby! Other cool places--Rome, Dublin, London, San Francisco, Prague

Animals:

Lions, wolves, spiders, hawks, black cats, tigers, crocodiles, owls

Historical figure that you most identify with:

Abraham Lincoln. Just kidding! To be honest with you, I don't really know. Pass.

Music:

Classical is the best but smart, good, weird rock (Bowie, Stones, Zepplin, The Cure, etc.) is perfect. Trendy hip-hop/pop/nonsense is good too. I DO NOT LIKE music that's too mellow. Norah Jones, Coldplay, most indie rockers I can't handle, no thanks. No coffee house music allowed.

Movies:

Fellini IS my movie god (may he rest in piece). He managed to be poignant and intellectual without being a bore or heavy-handed. Entertainment should be entertaining. Tim Burton is the best living director. Love goofey 80's movies, adventure films, fun things. I don't like art that takes itself too seriously because it makes me wonder if they have an ax to grind or if they're pandering to the critics who think that for a work to be legitimatized in "the canon" [rolls eyes] that it's okay to be boring. I would rather watch "Bill and Ted" than "Crash". The Muppets have just as much insight (probably more) regarding the human condition than any pretentious bullshit that Jim Jarmusch belched out. I love Quentin Tarantino because he loves sex and violence just like yours truly.

Books:

I'm a history buff but I also like really heavy, emotional, gothic fiction also. Anne Rice and Oscar Wilde rule. The Marquis is absurd but great. Not to be a geek but Shakespeare is worth the fuss. The only really current works that I read are the latest human studies books, biology, culture, politics, business, and history. Non-fiction mostly.

Desert Island question:

I really hope that I never end up on a desert island. I'm not Nature Boy and I'm sure that I would get sick of my favorite book very quickly.

Sports Teams:

Unless I'm playing on their team and earning the same amount of money as they are, I don't care. Hockey is better than baseball. I don't like golf but I do like.....archery. A lot, actually.

Politics:

After living through 2008 and 2009, I'm about a millionth of a centimeter away from going anarchist. Everyone is showing their true colors, from Washington to Wall Street. They can all go to hell and, yes, that includes Mr. Hope Change.

If you're in a job, be good at it. Fullfill your duties and do them well whether you're a public servant (which means that you're looking out for the public not working as a lobbyist), a dentist, a house cleaner, a CEO, or a BDSM Dom. Just do your job. Be considerate of other people. Got it? Good.

Religion:

Men are not gods. They don't look like gods, they don't think like gods, and they sure as fuck don't act like gods. If there is a god, then He/She isn't some petty dipshit like all these other jokers in history wishing to monopolize the human race and create their own miserable equivilent of the Mickey Mouse Club. I'm not worshipping a human. Fuck that. Everyone should be open to genuine critique; no leader is too precious or too sacred to just be handed all the keys (history shows us this and it always repeats itself). If there is a God, it's mind-blowing and magnificent unlike the gurus who are annoying and contradictory. Then again, maybe there isn't a God.....Who knows? Not me. What do I know? Not a whole hell of a lot. Everyone should go get a pizza, go to the museum, go to the movies, go fuck, and go to sleep. There's your spiritual education. Next!

Heroes:

Count Dracula, Darth Vader, Clint Eastwood (yes, yes, yes!), Zorro, Robin Hood, Madonna, Marlene Dietrich, Hamlet, Kathy Griffin, David Bowie, James Dean

Nationality:

American! But I know what you mean.....Irish/Scandinavian on one side (which is what I look like), Italian on the other side (my personality, without a doubt).

Ever been in love?:

Yes.

Life is.....:

Open to interpretation.

Favorite Quotes:

"Who gives a fuck?" - many grandpa's throughout time

"Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground." - Theodore Roosevelt

"It does not require many words to speak the truth." - Chief Joseph

"Just Do It." - Nike slogan

Reactions/Reviews

2009-09-15T12:16:00.000-07:00

[UPDATED 03-01-11]

Being the Master that I am, of course I love reviews and compliments. New reviews are posted on this blog periodically.

Okay, let's get started:
...................................

"The session yesterday was great. You really did kick up the intensity, which was phenomenal. The chains on the wall were a particular treat for me. Virtually all the marks on my back were gone by the time I arrived home. It was the best session we have had so far. Thank you for the great experience."

And there be plenty more to come, Slave G.
....................................

"Awesome! I loved every second of being with you - i trust You......incredible! Thank You so much for spending the evening with me. You rock my world!"

That's what I'm here for, GloveSlave.
....................................

"OMG..all i can say is WOW! ....The intensity was PERFECT...."

It was my pleasure, F.T.E.
....................................

"I just wanted to shoot you a quick thank you for yesterday. Thanks for being a great educational master, and walking me through each step of the way. I have to say your session was extremely great and the whole thing was extremely satisfying. I learned and experienced a lot. I really appreciate you. I at least hope I was a decent slave. I hope to schedule a session again with you sometime soon. I defiantly want to do it again. It was great. Actually in your realm of experience, you should be a PHD or something. I gotta say, you're one hell of a HOT master. Hot, young-looking, and smooth as easy going and easy to talk to. Glad I found you.

Thanks for making my fantasy a reality,

Bike"

Gotta love Bike. Plus he's so cute. Thanks, Bike.
..........................

"............what made it even more amazing serving you is that you're so lucious looking."

Yowza! Thanks "Soldier Boy in The West Burbs".
..........................

"You exceeded my expectations."

Damn right, Pain Writer! I'm glad to hear it, thanks for letting me know. That means a lot to me.
..........................

"If I only lived closer, I would be seeing you much more often."

Very true, Award Winner. You're a great slave, a great guy, and I also wish that you were in Chicago more often.
..........................

"You're like the perfect all-American boy but smart and evil."

Thank you, HypnoL. I may sometimes look all-American but my viewpoints definitely buckle the standard way of thinking. Am I evil......? Nah. It's all roleplay but, hopefully, you were right about the smart part. Comment very much appreciated.
................................

"THANK YOU for a great session Sir. Just what the doctor order Sir. It helps to keep me emotionally balanced. Well sort of anyway. :) i will make a request for a another session very soon. Looking forward to exploring, Sir.

Last night was perfect for the physical and a great start on the emotional. WOO HOOT! Can't wait to try some more."

Thanks, dogbitch:)
.................................

"Master Aiden, thank you so much for our recent session at your place. I like the way you have set up your bondage table and, my goodness, so much gear!! I like to visit Doms when i travel and this was a first for me in Chicago---absolutely one of the very best encounters i have had..Looks like O'Hare is going to be on my itinerary a whole lot more. Yes, it's true, i just had to come back four weeks later to go again. What a great dungeon space. The workout you gave me on the St Andrews Cross was very painful in a very good way. So hot to be punished by such a cute, boyishly goodlooking dom who seems to be purring with delight at my discomfort.....I'll be baaaack! At Your pleasure of course."

I'll see you soon, RubberSlingW. I'm glad that you appreciate our sessions:)
.................

"MASTER AIDEN thank YOU so very much for one of the best evenings i have had as a slave in a very long time. YOU are an incredible MASTER...YOU make a slave want to do EVERYTHING for YOU that would please YOU and degrade it SIR. SIR i hope YOU will take seriously my offer to be fully broken by YOU so that YOU can turn it into YOUR ideal of a model slave SIR. MASTER AIDEN it will freely give YOU its full consent to force any training and transformation on to me that YOU want. Hope YOU sleep well also SIR."

That was a perfect note, Bootslave. Thank you.
............................

"Master Aiden,

The session with you yesterday was awesome. I have never been subjected to such an array of implements for torture and whipping. There were sensations you created which I had never experienced before. You expanded my limits and made the experience truly unique to me. Your talent in BDSM is great and I would encourage anyone who wants a quality slave experience to visit you. I will definitely schedule a second session."

I look forward to our next session, Slave G. Very good.

Rules and Ethics

2009-09-14T22:58:00.000-07:00

Terms and Conditions for my services, which have been composed with the supervision and advice of my lawyer, are detailed below. Every client and prospective client must completely read and agree with the Terms and Conditions.

Serious clients understand that all professional Doms follow their own sets of rules which may vary from Master to Master or Mistress to Mistress.

In order to schedule a session with me and/or meet with me, you automatically comply with my Terms and Conditions:

-You understand and agree that I, the man opperating as Master Aiden, am a BDSM Dom who specializes in S&M and roleplay entertainment by and for consenting adults over the age of 25.

-Although my services are niche and unusual, you understand and agree that my services are NOT for prostitution, escorting, or any illegal purposes.

-You understand and agree that I am not and will not be offering you any illegal services.

-You understand and agree that you are not an officer of the law nor are you associated with any law enforcement organization.

-You understand and agree that I, the man opperating as Master Aiden, will not be held accountable for the actions, suggestions, and/or requests of those who contact me.

-You understand and agree that illegal drugs/substances, as well as alcoholic drinks, are not allowed at sessions.

-You understand and agree that adult entertainment services are not in any way, shape, or form an invitation to act with wreckless behavior or poor social conduct. You agree that you have a healthy and modern attitude towards adult entertainment services.

The Basics:

-No bad scheduling

-No shady, bizarre, unprofessional, or obnoxious behavior when calling or emailing

-No endless back-and-forth emails

-No drama/angst

Perfect Slaves are:

-sincere

-reliable (they show up on time)

-articulate

-polite

-honest

-mature

-trustworthy

-holding 21st century values

-aware that human nature, and it's diversity, is something to celebrate and explore with open-mindedness and care

-aware that BDSM is for fun, levity, insight, imagination, education, and personal freedom between intelligent, responsible, and consenting adults

-aware that every single one of these rules applies to me, your Master, as well

Scheduling Conduct:

*Keep it easy, simple, and crystal-clear--just like scheduling at a dentist's office.

*All session requests are sent at least 24 hours in advance.

My slaves feel confident that no BDSM activities, that I engage in, would ever truly jeopardize their health or wellbeing. They engage in roleplay with the full knowledge that they are with a strong, caring, safe, sane, and experienced Master.

I believe in the freedoms of lucid, responsible, consenting adults. Chaos, cruelty, wrecklessness, and social irresponsibility will not be tolerated.

Games for Grownups:

Valuing freedom of expression, professional Doms and Dominatrixes are nonjudgemental alternative lifestyles experts who help their slaves explore their individual personalities using Bondage-Discipline-Sadism-Masochism scenarios. It's an extremely insightful form of psychoemotional/physical exercise designed for people who enjoy being submissive to a Dominant individual in imaginative roleplay.

We offer legitimate adult entertainment orchestrated by experienced BDSM lifestylers. BDSM is it's own unique world in which going with an established Master or Mistress is highly recommended due to the obvious safety, conduct, and hygenic concerns associated with this sort of play.

Whether or not you decide to go with me or with another provider, I seriously urge submissives to play only with Dominants possessing a broad range of experience: ones who know what they're doing, how to properly care for a submissive, and how to keep sessions within a constructive framework.

Terms such as "slave", "bondage", "kidnapping", etc., when taken in the context of a BDSM scenario, are simply fantasy words used to initiate roleplay between participants and DO NOT in any way, shape, or form relate to nonconsensual acts, human trafficking, crime, or social misconduct. "Slave" is a roleplay term meaning an adult who enjoys being submissive during a BDSM scene.

I do not condone or even consider any activities that would be in any way truly hurtful, negative, or exploitative for any person. I, personally, will not work with any individual under the age of 25 or anyone who seems to have a conflicted relationship with BDSM. It's important to me that my bondage play partners are mature and having a great time.

As an experienced Master, I am able to differentiate between what is fun and games between consenting adults and what is exploitative. Limits and boundaries are always communicated beforehand and respected within session. My slaves are fully aware that I deal only with BDSM play between lucid and fully consenting adults.

--Master Aiden

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Contact me at: Master-Aiden@hotmail.com

BDSM Tortures, Fetishes, and Adventures

2009-09-14T22:29:00.000-07:00

Here's a list of classic BDSM activities/fetishes/gear/tortures. I am well-versed in all of them. Since the world of BDSM is an ever-evolving subculture, new and creative activities are constantly emerging. Is there something that I'm forgetting? Write me.
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-spanking

-shackles

-chains

-handcuffs

-bondage

-bondage table

-whipping

-flogging

-belting

-caning

-Whartenburg Wheel

-blindfolds

-CBT

-collars

-costumes

-ballgags

-cross-dressing and force-feminizing you

-adult infant

-tickling

-electrical play

-fire play

-ice play

-candle wax

-wrestling

-humiliation

-medical scenes

-riding crops

-sounds

-spandex

-leather

-roleplay

-athleticism

-face-slapping

-hair-pulling

-exhibitionism

-verbal abuse

-begging

-teasing

-abandonment

-housework/cleaning

-leashes

-masks

-vampirism

-obedience training

-puppy play

-pony play

-hoods

-gas masks

-knife play

-(toy) gun play

-"kidnapping"

-plastic wrap

-mummification

-food play

-sensory deprivation

-speech restrictions

-audio restrictions

-clowns

-abuse

-uniforms

-paddles

-clothing fetish

-shoe fetish

-servitude/worship

-photo play

-roleplay

-discipline