This is the newest article for my "Yes, Master" column that appears on The New Gay website. Visit The New Gay to read some of my other entries (simply enter "Master Aiden or "Yes Master" into the search feature) as well as additional insightful columnists and writings focused on progressive and LGBT-related interests...........
When you're wearing fetish clothing and you have your gear all over the place, everything is fine and good when you're in the dungeon. That's the natural place for all of that. But what about that whole important part about entering and leaving the dungeon? How does all of that work? Do you answer the door wearing a harness and chaps? Do you leave the hotel wearing kneehigh military boots, carrying your riding crop behind you? Practicalities are everything in BDSM whether or not they're sexy to think about.
To stay incognito you need either an entire change of clothing to bring with you or you can do things how I prefer to do them. I believe in black hoodies. They zip up and off easily and I make sure it's a big enough hoodie to zip over whatever clothing/gear that I have on my upper torso. I also recommend baggy gym pants or sweats that can easily fit over fetishy pants and tone down the visual impact of leather boots. Keep in mind that cover clothing is simply for coming and going--not for hanging out around town since they're not the best looks. But wearing simple cover clothing saves you the time/awkwardness of completely changing and also has somethingof a superhero factor in the sense that you can just pull off your clothes and you're ready to go. It doesn't matter whether or not it's 90 degrees outside. I deal with it.
To stay incognito you need either an entire change of clothing to bring with you or you can do things how I prefer to do them. I believe in black hoodies. They zip up and off easily and I make sure it's a big enough hoodie to zip over whatever clothing/gear that I have on my upper torso. I also recommend baggy gym pants or sweats that can easily fit over fetishy pants and tone down the visual impact of leather boots. Keep in mind that cover clothing is simply for coming and going--not for hanging out around town since they're not the best looks. But wearing simple cover clothing saves you the time/awkwardness of completely changing and also has somethingof a superhero factor in the sense that you can just pull off your clothes and you're ready to go. It doesn't matter whether or not it's 90 degrees outside. I deal with it.
When entering or exiting any building or hotel with your bag of gear and whatever clothes you're wearing, it's best to just march in there like you own the place and that you're completely confident in where you're going. Look a little tired. Maybe text while you're doing it. You've been in and out so many times that you're OVER IT and you just want to get to your room. Understand? Be sure know exactly which room you're heading to by clearly communicating the room number with your partner before you head over to the location. If the location requires key access of some sort in order to reach the floor of the particular room that you're heading to, your partner must meet you down in the lobby so that you can head up together. Please, no fetish clothes, wrist shackles, or roleplay then. You'll get to that later. Incognito, always.A big bag of gear requires a duffel or at least something with a lot of space to it. If you're bringing any rods or canes, be sure that the bag has enough length in order to accomodate those OR place your rods/canes in poster/blueprint tubes or musical instrument cases to allude to other purposes rather than S&M. Just a suggestion. Plus, it's fun. Also, pack up with you some black plastic bags in which you can hold your "To Wash" items for when you get home, so that those are clearly and physically seperated from other gear and bag/cases linings. You have to think ahead and maintain cleanliness and good hygiene while remaining incognito during exits and entrances.
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