Yes, Master (Entry 30): "Couples' Retreat"

This is the newest article for my "Yes, Master" column that appears every other Wednesday (tomarrow) on The New Gay website.

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Recently, I had someone ask me if I ever trained couples and, if so, what is it like?

It's actually very rare for me (and I'm assuming that it's the same for other pro Masters and Mistresses) to recieve requests for couples' training. Usually it's only individuals who request sessions but, every once in a while, someone will pop out and send me that email which usually reads something along the lines of this:

"Dear Master Aiden:

My wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner and I are interested in doing a training session with you. She/He has wanted to try out S&M for a while (with her/him as the top and me as the bottom).

I would like to know how much a session like this would cost and when you would be available. We are very new at this so go easy on us and treat us like beginners.

Thank you for reading this letter, Sir, and I look forward to hearing back from you.

Respectfully,

Mr. X"

The very modern, kinky lifestyle couples usually aren't interested all that much whether the person helping guide them on their BDSM adventures is a man or a woman. It surprises me how nonchalant they usually are about that part of the equation. Sometimes it's a request for me to train a couple as a pair of experienced submissives (two slaves at the same time). If that's the case, then it's just me doing double-duty as a Master--these sessions are fun while being hectic and very busy for me (as you'd probably expect). Typically, though, if it's a request for a session involving 3 people, it probably has to do with one person generally learning how to dominate the other in the couple.

When they show up, usually introductions are very friendly and formal and, since I'm in instructor mode, I don't do a lot of the expected Master/slave roleplay dynamics since many of these newbie couples are pretty nervous and I don't want them to be freaked out. It's all about getting them acquainted with the standard BDSM equiptment, how to use that stuff properly, how to be gentle/painful/careful, and roll out a general list of many of the activities that couples can try when engaging in bondage play.

The most challenging aspect of diving into BDSM, for these established couples, is taking it seriously and becoming the actors within their own fantasies. Why is it that couples can be the most restrained when it comes to being with one another? Sometimes they can become almost conservative in that respect.....

The key for these couples--the most important and unsettling piece of the puzzle--is believing in each other as either Master/Mistress and slave. If they both genuinely have that scope of imagination for themselves and for each other, then they're already 80% good to go. BDSM IS imagination and roleplay. The rest of it is just props.