This is the newest article for my "Yes, Master" column that appears every other Wednesday on The New Gay website. Visit The New Gay to read some of my other entries (simply enter "Master Aiden or "Yes Master" into the search feature) as well as additional insightful columnists and writings focused LGBT-related interests.
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As I've mentioned recently, there are 2 new playspaces that I hold sessions in nowadays.
One is The Box dungeon and the other is my residence. Both have been newly created for BDSM adventure (I'll get more in-depth in my next article) and I got to thinking about what it takes, exactly, to have a perfectly functional dungeon of your very own.
Big, tricked-out, expansive spaces are great to have and are definitely enjoyable. But most enthusiasts don't have massive emporiums, filled to their brims with toys, to play in.
You don't need to have a lot of space to work with, or money to invest, in order to whip up a space sets you into the right Master or slave frame of mind.
Do you want to make a dungeon? Of course you do!
Let me help you out....
*If you have (at least) a floor, 4 walls, and a ceiling, then you have a completely acceptable foundation for a perfectly good S&M playspace.
*Curtains. Perhaps you're in the mood to be an exhibitionist but maybe your 78-year-old neighbor doesn't want to see the foolery. Blinds, shutters, shades, whatever. Privacy is a big deal.
*Noise. Don't pick the room next to the apartment building hallway. Nor should you have your dungeon next to your neighbor's dining room. Choose a room that allows for a little bit of audio leeway. And, if you live in a city or the suburbs, don't get under the impression that there is ANY place that you can scream at the top of your lungs. In BDSM, it's inevitable that there will be at least some noise. Where is the best place to set your St. Andrew's Cross so that people won't be alarmed by some whapping and moaning? Think in advance and always try to keep noise to a minimum. Also, be sure to have some decent mood music going.
*Paint it black. Do you want a dungeon in your place but none of the rooms look appropriate? Paint it black and/or white and there you go. Graphic basics enable you to settle into the bondage mood much easier without distracting visuals.
*One or two lamps. Or candlelight. Too much light is annoying. Color gels, if you're going for that tacky, sleazy 80's vibe, are available at all theatre supply stores and websites. Red lights against black and/or white rooms create a sexy, hellish atmosphere. Yes, I realize how cheesey that is.....but it works.
*Although I'm, at this point, well-stocked with an array of whips, chains, and whatnot, that doesn't mean that you need to spend devastating amounts of money on toys and clothes in order to play Master and servant. Just buy some ropes, a paddle, a riding crop, and some toy handcuffs to begin with--some of the very basic basics. If you and your partner(s) enjoy BDSM ,and it's something that you want to continue with in some capacity, then your kinky toy inventory will build up as time goes on. But you have to get a few of the classic toys, at least, to start off with. Allow yourself to blow one or two hundred, run to the sex shoppe, and begin your collection!
*I've been to plenty of dungeons and plenty of play parties. All the space, installations, toys, gears, pulley systems, whatever, don't compensate for a lack of dynamic. If you and your play partner have a great connection, then you're set. No amount of money can buy chemistry and enthusiasm. YOU and your partner are the stars of the show--not the dungeon, not the toys. Which is good to think about before you spend $12,000 on the newest fucking and spanking machine. Just saying.
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