Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Yes, Master (entry 101): Smooth Moves


Launched in 2009 as a regular column for Washington D.C.'s The New Gay website, "Yes, Master" is a series of essays, Q&A's, and rants by Chicago pro Dom, Master Aiden.  The new entries of "Yes, Master" continue here on MasterAiden.blogspot.com.  Feel free to write in, ask questions, etc.:  Master-Aiden@hotmail.com
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Many kinky people in the BDSM subculture have a thing for hairy men.

Although the Bear community, overall, takes up a large portion of the gay leather world, the fact of the matter is that there is an entire flipside to that spectrum and many of those pervy individuals prefer significantly less strands and stubble.  They want to be shaved down and that can mean their entire body (including the head, sparing the eyelashes [of course] and, typically, the eyebrows too) OR that can mean shaving their body from the neck down only (leaving--clearly--head hair and facial hair and maybe arm hair and/or leg hair in order to avoid questions from family and co-workers in some cases).

I don't get a ton of slaves who want to be shaved but I do get enough shave slaves (it rhymes) to the point that it was worthwhile investing in a good buzzer kit.

Some of my slaves enjoy incorporating the shaving process into their sessions.  I'm more than happy to oblige.  Anything to make them feel vulnerable (which, when you think about it, we're all feeling vulnerable at the barber shop or salon, aren't we?) and since I bought the buzzer kit I may as well use it.  As one of my slaves mentioned before:  "Since I'm having a BDSM session, I may as well get my shave in too!".

Well, shit, Two-For-One Special.  How can you beat that?

At some hardware stores, they sell cheap plastic drop cloths which cover wider floor spaces and are more useful than newspaper sheets for catching hair trimmings.  So, if you're going to shave someone down, either have them stand in the bath tub/shower area or use a plastic drop cloth (having one ready would be one of your pre-preps before a shaving scene).

For people who are into the wearing of rubber or latex, body shaving is a wise move unless getting your arm/leg hair pulled and tugged all over is one of your fetishes (it probably isn't).  So, in that case, shaving is a matter of comfort and necessity.

But some people just like having that silky smooth-all-over feeling and I have no problem with stripping them down and buzzing them.  I enjoy it actually because I'm detail-oriented, it just gives me another excuse to boss them around in the process (any excuse is a good excuse), and--by this point--I think that I'm pretty good at it .  Needless to say, the slightly menacing sound of the buzzer adds to the scene.

Slave shaving is not one of those scenes that you can surprise someone with.  It's not like spanking or bondage scenes which are basic, assumed aspects when people agree to engage in S&M.  I deal with many slaves--they all have different life responsibilities/requirements--and, as we all know, shaving alters bodily appearance for a good, long time.  I, personally, shave them per special request ONLY.  They have to specifically ask for it or I won't do it.  Unlike spanking and bondage, it's not usually a part of my program.  If you're a Dom/Domme and you think that you'd enjoy shaving your submissives, make sure that you clear that with them first.  Some may be all for it--in whatever capacity--but many can't be shaved in order to maintain a typical body hair appearance or they're just one of those body hair enthusiasts.  Everybody's different.

Quality buzz kits are easy to come by (any decent department store and many drug stores have them) and most Dominants will find that they're good investments.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

You can keep Peter Cottontail and you can toss the Peeps in the trash can


because Bunnicula is the springtime creature.

He's goth, he's vegan, and he has a big attitude.  Reminds me of some of my ex's, actually.....

Happy Easter

xo

Master Aiden

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Who's That Guy?


This upcoming Saturday (April 12th), Touche--Chicago's main leather bar in the Jefferson Park district of Chitown--is throwing an event called Leather Eye For The Preppy Guy.  If you've ever wanted an excuse to transform one of your hot, all-American buddies into a fetish-garbed kinkster, this is your chance.

contest at 11pm....demo at midnight.......makeover at 1am

The Touche website is right here to learn more about what's happening there this weekend as well as other upcoming events.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Yes, Master (entry 100): Getting Warmer


Launched in 2009 as a regular column for Washington D.C.'s The New Gay website, "Yes, Master" is a series of essays, Q&A's, and rants by Chicago pro Dom, Master Aiden.  The new entries of "Yes, Master" continue here on MasterAiden.blogspot.com.  Feel free to write in, ask questions, etc.:  Master-Aiden@hotmail.com
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Before we begin with this entry of "Yes, Master", I just have to point out that it's the 100th (ba da da daaaaaahhhh!) slice of this column and it's been over a decade now of BDSM tomfoolery for yours truly.

Absolutely amazing.  I'm enjoying it now more than ever, always learning new things, always enjoying my wonderful slaves and welcoming more.

Very Special Thanks to my fantastic slaves (despite the "humiliations" and whippings, you know that I adore you X a million no matter what I do to you--that's the fun of roleplay).  Let's go along on our adventures, try out new things, celebrate our favorite kinks, and continue having great times!  Onward and Upward!
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Now.......pushing the smiley-faces and balloons aside, is it always easy to dive into kinky time?  What about if the atmosphere feels weird?  What if someone is sorta-kinda not feeling it at that moment?  Perhaps it sounds like fun but, what if we don't quite know how to make it all happen?

The exciting part that we imagine is always what occurs in the middle......or maybe at the end.

But very, very, very rarely does anyone fantasize about what happens during the first 2 minutes of making an S&M scene take place.

So how do we begin a BDSM session?

That's often the most difficult part for some players.

Like working out or starting a new project or forcing yourself to do paperwork, the first few minutes of initial bondage play may require a moment of settling in and getting into the right frame-of-mind.  Adjusting to the water and the temperature so to speak.

And, as we all know, once you cross that First 5 Minutes threshold, you're good to go.

First of all, every adult participating must agree to engage in the BDSM roleplay.  So that's step one.

A submissive may simply drop to their knees right then and there and begin begging for punishment from their Master or Mistress.  That's a good way to start things off (thanks, slave!) and that certainly sets the tone with little to no initial push from the Dominant (saves us a bit of work....).

But, realistically, most of the time it's the Dom's job to push the Start button.  It's up to us to flip the switch and transform the fantasy into a reality.

I'm not big on yelling.  If anything, to me at least, it's more difficult to take a Master or Mistress seriously if they're bellowing across the dungeon and getting red in the face.  The best Dominants are firm.....and clear....and give concise, specific orders.

If a Master or Mistress is having a difficult time getting into the swing of things, I would suggest starting off cool, easy, and slow.  There's no need to rush things.  Acquire your bearings.  Test your slave out.  Warm him or her up a bit by maybe having them kiss your boots to start things off or have them do a few laps around the dungeon on their hands and knees.  Easy stuff to begin with.  Get into the mood with some light, simple activity.

I promise you that starting off with light, simple, and easy scenes--before getting into heavy flogging or complicated bondage or ultra-focused CBT punishments, for example--will aid a session into being.

You can always initiate things by having the slave get down on his or her knees and relaying their thoughts and fantasies to you (and to themselves) while you sit and tap your riding crop for a while.  That's sure to get you in the mood.

Maybe a dark and atmospheric room along with provacative music isn't enough to get the blood flowing, then perhaps relying on undressing/dressing up in your gear will be enough to pop things into place.  Sometimes that's all it takes to initiate a session.

Sometimes the first few minutes of a BDSM session may feel kind of rocky (due to nerves and indecision, primarily) but have some patience.  Start off slow, calm, and easy.  The intensity and mutual roleplay comfort (and fun) will come once you get through that awkward opening threshold.  Yeah, the first few minutes may feel weird but, once you flow into the groove of things, the pay off will be worth it.

If you're having a difficult night starting things off or feeling nervous, don't give up.  The mindset required for good dungeon play may take a few minutes to coat you properly.  Allow yourself and your partner a little bit of warm-up time and easy initial play in order to guide things along and make the magic happen.

Monday, March 31, 2014

Name Game


These days, I just use my blog   http://masteraiden.blogspot.com/

and my website  http://www.masteraiden.com/

as my outlets for broadcasting ideas, pics, announcements online to my clients and wider readership.  Those are my only broadcasting outlets.  Just the site and this blog.

I don't use Twitter or Instagram.  I never have actually.  I feel like my blog and site professionally broadcast everything that I have the time to broadcast.  I'm good.  We got it covered.

I did (do?) have a Facebook page but it was maintained by the website on which I used to publish my "Yes, Master" column--The New Gay.  But now The New Gay has closed shop and, no, I don't have the password for that Master Aiden Facebook page (I never did have it....) so it just kind of stays online collecting dust.  Like an old, abandoned house!  haha

So no Facebook, no Instagram, no Twitter for me.  Which is how I like it.

I don't mind social media in moderate doses but I can get tired of it really easily.  I feel like a lot of my male friends--especially the straight guys that are 28 and over--increasingly feel the same way that I do about that.  A little bit of social media here and there, just to make our friends and families happy, but enough is enough.  Too much real-time living to do, too many tasks to tackle, too much business to attend to.  I don't need to update my location every 4 hours.  I don't need constant validation, your attention, and ego boosts all the time.  And, as much as I love you, I don't need to know about what pastries you just baked with your grandma and I don't want to hear your "quirky" observations about your roommate's pet bird or whatever.  No thanks.  I'm starting to get the impression that a lot of people, in growing numbers, are siding with me on that nowadays.  I DO want to hear and see the important, special moments of peoples' lives (and, yes, if you have some razor-sharp, hilarious, and/or insightful observation about something, I definitely want to see it)--and social media is a great platform for presenting those unique moments and events--but I could live without the everyday chatterbox stuff.  As internetland continues forward, I think that people will get more sophisticated about social media, and will learn to curate themselves better but, in the meantime, lots of selfies and one-liners about meme TV shows.  Lots and lots of very random selfies, hashtags, and sassy one-liners (God help us all....).

When I communicate privately with my slaves and dedicated readers, I use my email address and my phone (like everyone else, of course).

Because it's the internet, there are lots of Aidens/Masters/Master Aidens/Ayden Masters/Aydens/Aidans/Aidins/Aydyns.  Aiden (and its other various spellings) is a popular name right now and it's a good one so, of course, it's seen a lot.  And it's the internet.  It is how it is.

If you're ever looking for me--your S&M Master based in Chicago, USA--and you want to make sure that you're going to the right site, just Google:

"Master Aiden Chicago"
"Master Aiden BDSM"
"Master Aiden bondage Dom"
"Master Aiden spanking"

etc., something along those lines.  Chicago specific, BDSM specific, Master Aiden as in a-i-d-e-n specific.

As far as I know, I'm the only S&M Master who goes with the exact spelling of Master Aiden.  And I definitely know that I'm the only S&M Master in Chicago who goes with that name.

So, yes, the internet.  Oh, the internet.....you little rascal, confusing people sometimes.

I know that there's been a few of you who were confused about babies, cats, dogs, anime characters, bands,  erotic fiction characters (both gay and straight!), and some other entities that have names similar to mine so I just wanted to clarify.

Master......Aiden.......bondage.......BDSM Dom........Chicago.     You get it.

Monday, March 24, 2014

Yes, Master (entry 99): Sub Appeal


Launched in 2009 as a regular column for Washington D.C.'s The New Gay website, "Yes, Master" is a series of essays, Q&A's, and rants by Chicago pro Dom, Master Aiden.  The new entries of "Yes, Master" continue here on MasterAiden.blogspot.com.  Feel free to write in, ask questions, etc.:  Master-Aiden@hotmail.com
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In the previous entry of my "Yes, Master" column, I gave my thoughts about what makes being a Dom attractive to me.

Now, for this week, what's the appeal of playing the submissive in BDSM scenes?

Luckily, some of my slaves are relatively vocal so I'll summarize what they've told me.....

*Going for the ride.  Because experiencing a BDSM scene from the bottom can be a roller coaster adventure full of twists, turns, and suspense.  They are literally forced to go with the flow.  Someone else (me, namely) takes the reins and they have no choice other than to endure the controlled punishments that come at them.  It's a psychoemotional vacation.  Freedom in bondage.  A release from personal responsibility.

*They can explore their fetishes and kinks with someone who actually specializes in exploring fetishes and kinks.

*They can be vulnerable without being judged or looked down upon for being vulnerable.

*They can wear fetish gear/clothing in a context that encourages it.

*Pleasurable pain.  Pain within limits, controlled torment.

*The safe helplessness of being tied up and/or shackled in chains.....with someone nearby to release you and save you when it's time.

*The catharsis and survival of "humiliating" situations.

If I had to reduce it to one thing (which, maybe, is reducing it too much but bare with me for the purpose of this topic), it would be......

......the desire to be in a vulnerable state.

We are all taught that vulnerability is weakness.  That it's something to be avoided.

But a major part of the human experience is an understanding and embracing of the fact that we are all vulnerable--not weak, vulnerable--and that we're all mortal.

Denying that vulnerability is a form of falsehood.  It's a blocking of emotion.  It's not real.

As much as we'd all love to think of ourselves and present ourselves as super-strong, invulnerable robo-people, let's face the facts.....

We're all submissives within a dangerous and unpredictable world.  No one--no matter how rich, powerful, protected--is indestructible.

I believe that those who submit, within BDSM play, are going through a form of meditation in which they're able to embrace and live through their vulnerabilities within safe spaces.  Those of us who play the Dominant roles, we're expected to create--and responsible for providing--these safe spaces and pseudo-dangers for our brave companions to experience.  Like running through customized, interactive haunted houses or, yes, strapping someone into a carnival ride, we're creating "danger" and providing safety at the end of the journey.  In BDSM, we conjure up our own fears (no matter how lurid and enticing) and then survive them.

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Kino


Chicago's Leather Archives and Museum will be having a film screening featuring shorts from Germany's Fetisch Film Festival on Friday, April 4th, 8pm through 10pm.

Visit the Leather Archives and Museum's page for this event (it's right HERE) to learn more about the April 4th screening.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Moving Forward


I've already planned out the Spring 2014 Gallery which I'll be shooting and finishing up before IML (which is always at the end of May).

I want to do something more elaborate and gothic and artistic for this upcoming one.  With a different setting, props, costumes.  I already have a lady S&M enthusiast lined up to model in it (to play the submissive) because it's good to do different scenarios and situations.  My site and this blog have a lot more female attendance than it used to (even though my clients right now are all dudes) so I figured that we should do something for them but make it more cool and surreal than vulgar.  It will be sexy, sure, but with a dark romantic edge to it.  

Now, as soon as I post this, I'll probably get some messages from girls who are like "Aiden, fuck that romantic shit!  I want skin, tight clothes, and dick!".   hahaha

Okay, fine, maybe I should get more nitty-gritty with the photo shoots but I have to do it within a certain style.  If we're going to go more nitty-gritty, it will HAVE TO be in a more cool, artistic, erotic photography kind of way.  Remember now, I grew up goth.  We're all kind of particular about things.  Gritty, dark, weird, edgy imagery is fine but sunny and "eager to please" imagery isn't my cup of tea (especially since I'm a BDSM Dom).

Without a doubt, I'll get some emails with "Master Aiden, I like the photos with guy slaves a lot more....".  Yeah, I'm aware, but c'mon let's create some more variety.  A couple of years ago, we did a "Claiming of Sleeping Beauty"-themed shoot but no one liked it.  They just thought that it was pretentious and scary-looking (which is probably true....).  But we're going to try to do a dark romance/costume thing again and hit the notes better.  Hopefully people will enjoy this one a lot more and hopefully it won't look like a scene from an Italian horror film like the other one did.  Or maybe it will.....but in a more fun/sexy way?  

When we think of Leather, we think of gay guys in harnesses but the leather world is a wide one with people of both sexes and all kinds of gender declarations.  I have the gay guys in harnesses here already--we've got that covered and we'll do more of that for upcoming shoots too, no worries--but, for the next shoot, let's go with some spooky masks, Wuthering Heights, vampire lovers, and girls bound in lace--that sort of thing.  As for me, I'll do some more wicked prince/fetish lord (tall boots, some kind of big collar, new leather mask) stuff for that scene.  Having new images featuring a female submissive will be great and will provide more visual variety for this site too.

Yes, Master (entry 98): Dom Appeal


Launched in 2009 as a regular column for Washington D.C.'s The New Gay website, "Yes, Master" is a series of essays, Q&A's, and rants by Chicago pro Dom, Master Aiden.  The new entries of "Yes, Master" continue here on MasterAiden.blogspot.com.  Feel free to write in, ask questions, etc.:  Master-Aiden@hotmail.com
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So why on earth would I want to become a BDSM Dom?

As you can imagine, I get asked this sometimes.  And I've asked myself that question too.

What may surprise you (and it's surprised me as well) is how often people simply "get it"; they innately understand.  There have been plenty of times where I've been given a sly smile alongside something like "That sounds like fun, actually."  Or something to that effect.

The ones who give me that the most:  conservative-looking straight men and women.  Well, then....Still waters run deep.

At this point, I'm fully aware of why I'm a pro Master.  It's helped me be more "me" in many ways.  It's helped me be more outgoing, less shy, direct, and straightforward with myself and also in social/professional settings.  I was never painfully shy or anything like that but for what I do mainly outside of the dungeon--something non-BDSM related; it's all kind of creative, intellectual, complicated stuff dealing with many kinds of personalities, financial brackets, and situations--Domming has helped me tremendously.  Being "too nice" and/or shy are qualities that we find to be socially valuable, pleasant, agreeable.  But, for a man who does his own thing, holding those qualities can be a kiss of death if they aren't balanced with a bit of well-placed aggression and straightforwardness.  Domming has helped balance me out so that I don't turn into one of those goody two-shoes Disney characters from the 60's who just gives and gives and gives until they're bled completely dry.  And, yes, certain goths and punks can somehow manage to be insufferable goody two-shoes while wearing all black and having blue hair.  It's not exactly a difficult parlor trick.  Goody two-shoes come in all kinds and types; they don't always dress in Hilfiger.

Plus, Domming, for me, has been a good gig, a good job, but I can only speak for myself on that.

I was never one who was easily shocked by things to begin with but Domming has strengthened me psychologically.  Peoples' quirks, fetishes, and "filthy" personal side-corners don't surprise me.  They just make me chuckle.  Now there could be an argument for maintaining a level of innocence and steering away from the dark alleys of human desire but, eh, no thanks.  I'd rather know.  Ignorance, to me, isn't blissful.  Even when I was more of a goody two-shoes, I was a curious guy......I want to know secrets.  I want to hear the dirty stories that people are willing to tell.

But I'm not a cynic.  Far from it.  Cynicism is for lazy, defeated people just as relentless optimism if for liars and for the inexperienced.

Balance the light with some weighty, truthful darkness.  And if things seem too dark, open the windows and let some light in; gain a bit of perspective.  Not everything is about you all the time.

We are all a combination of both light and dark.  When you deny it or forget it, that's when things get all fucked up.  Understand yourself, understand other people.

As humans, it's good for us to be little bit "bad" in some ways.  In fun ways; in productive, educational ways.  In benign ways.

For all the dread and "depravity" and darkness that is typically shellacked over things related to Bondage and Discipline, I just think it's a walk on the beach.  BDSM, when done right, is as benign as it gets.  Having lunch at a fast food restaurant is, technically, a lot worse for you.

Whips, shackles, ropes, and kinky/strange/sexy outfits?  Eh, who cares--no big deal.  It's all wonderful adult fun if you can handle scraping off some of your issues and insecurities.  I know that Domming has definitely helped me in a lot of ways.

There's always been a part of me that's wanted to be an Evil King (don't we all dream of that to some degree....?) and it's enjoyable being able to play that role in the dungeon.  The Evil King side of myself, I'm happy to say, has helped kill off (or at least balance out....) the Candide side of myself.  Which couldn't have happened soon enough, in my opinion.

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Going Green


When you go on the el platforms and you see many, many random piles of sawdust all over the walking areas, you know that it's shamrock time in Chicago.

It's nasty as fuck (in a bad way) but that's just how some of you alcoholic leprechauns riverdance your way throughout the city for a few days.  It is what it is.

Have a Safe, Happy, and Hospital-Free St. Paddy's Day!!

xo,

Master Aiden

Saturday, March 15, 2014

Winter 2014 Gallery

I've had NO TIME to post lately; I've (barely) had a few hours--and it's almost spring already--so here we are with the Winter 2014 Gallery.

This gallery is alright.  I don't love these but I don't hate 'em either.

The "mean, vintage, Logan Square hipster Master" black and white ones are too melodramatic but maybe some of you will dig them.  I look determined but the expression is a bit much.  Maybe I should have gone with decaf before we did that concept....  When I look at them, I automatically hear ragtime mechanical piano music or some shit.  The suspenders are cool.  The old-school hairstyle is okay just for these image concepts (and only for these image concepts) so I can't wait to change it up.  Regardless, I have to try new styles sometimes even when it doesn't automatically translate to "all-time favorite".  But we did it, it came out fine, and it's a different vibe from what I typically do.

The leather glove fetish picture with the winter forest is good; I was almost laughing when we did it.  

The "torture and interrogation" scenes are fun (glad that I got to use the violet wand for a scene); the nipple twist works too! ha  The "STUD" collar was a perfect opportunity and a no-brainer.

Shaving is very popular with some submissives so I decided to touch upon that particular fetish as well.

I have to say that one of my favorite ones that we've done so far is that one where I have my back to the camera (with the broken-off antennae switch) and the slave is bound in front of me.  The light, color, poses are awesomely corny and it looks like some gay erotic thriller image from the 80's. haha  Very nice.

And the "Master Aiden" paint sign we did while the pics were uploading because we were bored (that's a good enough reason).

I had some help with these (like always) so Special Thanks to Slave S. for playing the submissive and another Special Thanks to Ms. AH for bravely volunteering and guest-starring with some behind-the-camera work (I appreciate your help and I hope that you'll come up again some time!).













Thursday, March 13, 2014

Winter Is Coming!.....


And, by that, I'm referring to the Winter 2014 Gallery which I'll be posting up here within the next 48 hours.

I could have posted it last week but I've been busy.  Busy binding and beating my submissives.  So, really, it's some of my slaves' faults that there's a delay....which means that it would be appropriate to throw in a few more whallops at them with my belt.  That is the best way of dealing with the situation.  Shame on them.

Anyway, yes, the new (kind of light; almost whimsical in my opinion) Winter 2014 Gallery will be up very, very soon.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Short Spank: Things That Hit People


Whips and floggers get worn out sometimes.

It happens.

Some pieces can be fixed, others can't.

Don't get sentimental about gear.  If one of your favorite toys has had a good run--many beating sessions, many years of fun--and some part of it has finally snapped, let it go.  If you can't repair it, then buy something new.  There are many BDSM toy shoppes and plenty of custom craftspeople.  They're happy to provide you with new gear when the time has come.

Every once in a while, I get a little bit sad if a favorite toy breaks during a session.  I think that all of you S&M kinksters out there probably understand what I mean--sort of, kind of.  There are whips--and canes and floggers and crops--that have unique designs, colors, textures and you think to yourself "Gosh, I hope that I have this whip forever!".  Or maybe you got it at some special event.  You get attached to it but one day, you'll hear a "crack!", "pop!", or "crunch!" and a part of it may go flying across the dungeon in mid-scene.  And that's just awful.

It's funny to think that you can become sentimental about a piece of equipment that you use to hit people but, hey, some pieces of gear are really, really great.  It sucks having to replace things but it's better to call the situation as is.  Simply toss out that dead whip--no matter how cool it is, no matter how many happy memories are attached to it--and just go get a new one.  And, no, don't let that broken whip sit on your shelf for aesthetic reasons--throw it away.  Just allowing it to sit there is too damn depressing.

Friday, February 28, 2014

You Deserve A Good Flogging....Instructional


The Early to Bed store for adults in Chicago is doing a flogging workshop on March 18th, 2014 so learn some basics about wielding the leather or refresh your skills.

For information about fees and to learn more about this workshop, visit the event page (which is right HERE).

Also, be sure to check out their schedule to see their other upcoming events and workshops (by clicking HERE).

As they say, furthering your education is always a good thing.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Yes, Master (entry 97): DIY Dungeons


Launched in 2009 as a regular column for Washington D.C.'s The New Gay website, "Yes, Master" is a series of essays, Q&A's, and rants by Chicago pro Dom, Master Aiden.  The new entries of "Yes, Master" continue here on MasterAiden.blogspot.com.  Feel free to write in, ask questions, etc.:  Master-Aiden@hotmail.com
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So, you're gonna make your own dungeon space, huh?  There's a million different stylistic directions, inclusions, and details that you can go with--those are up to you--so I'm going to point out 10 rational suggestions from yours truly that may be helpful.

1.)  Have an isolated space within your house/castle/condo/whatever that is set aside for dungeon play only.  Now this is assuming that your entire living quarters isn't completely dedicated to BDSM.  I'm guessing that you're not 1000% a lifestyler with black paint on every wall, whips on every mantle, etc.  If that is the case, you probably don't need my suggestions.  But for you kinksters who do have to host the occasional Super Bowl party for your brother, sister-in-law, and their entire troop of offspring, you obviously can't have the leather sling permanently installed in the dining room (for instance).  If you have an area in your basement that is available, install some basic walls (it's not that fucking difficult) and create a new room strictly for naughty fun.  Put in a door.  Put a lock on it (don't lose the key).  Now you have your own little dungeon room that nobody needs to know about and you and your wife (or girlfriend or boyfriend or husband or just slave[s]) can play all you like!  If the neighbor stops over unannounced, just shut and lock that dungeon space door and you're all set.  No one needs to know what is in that locked room.  It's none of their business.  If the neighbor asks what's in that locked room, just tell them that it's paperwork and pirates' treasure.  If you're a condo or penthouse owner--with a spare bedroom or office space--you can use that area for your dungeon if a basement isn't available to you.

2.)  Pick your look/theme.  Maybe it's meant to be gritty, industrial raw space with untreated beams and exposed brick.  Or it's red velvet boudoir-themed with golden candlesticks and Persian rugs.  Or it's a leather heaven/hell with padded walls and glistening pitch-black.  Be creative, spend some money, or just keep the space as is.  But you do have to choose what sort of dungeon you want to play in and what that will look like.

3.)  A nice dungeon has nice things.  You don't need to blow a bunch of dough on your dungeon space but put a little bit of thought and tactic into it.  The people that you  play with in there will notice if you've slacked off or not with the dungeon interior.  Again, be creative and push yourself towards creating an attractive/attractively scary space.

4.)  Make or choose some art for your dungeon.  Or go bare bones minimalism.  Whatever you choose to include (or not include) will make an impression on the overall vibe of your dungeon space.

5.)  Music.  Music sets the scene.  Have a sound system of some kind--whether it's a whole setup or just an ipod with speakers--to create a hypnotic atmosphere.  I personally don't enjoy doing S&M scenes in total silence and I think that most people would probably agree with me on that.

6.)  Have your basic play supplies (paper towels, cloth towels, rubber gloves, etc.) within easy reach inside your dungeon.

7.)  Have a shelf with general sanitary fluids and cleansers.  Soapy water, hand cleansers, rubbing alcohol, and so on.

8.)  If you're a real superstar, try to have a working sink with hot water nearby.

9.)  Be aware of noise and how sounds relate to other rooms within your house or with condos next door.  Consider insulation, foam, and so on if need be.

10.)  Temperatures.  If you have a basement dungeon, you may want to think about getting a space heater if it tends to get chilly down there.  Even when people are being "tortured", it doesn't hurt to make sure that they're comfortable.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Align with "Venus"


One of Chicago's biggest theaters is going to be staging a play about BDSM.

"Venus In Fur" (based on the kinky classic novel, "Venus in Furs" by Leopold von Sacher-Masoch) will be playing the Goodman Theater from March 8th through April 13th of this year.

Visit the website to check it out and purchase tickets.  The website is right HERE.


Whether you're gay, bi, or straight, it's a story about the darker corners of fetish and desire; it's about how we all chose the roles that we play in our private lives.  I think that the novel is incredible so I'm curious to see how they twist and modernize the story.  I will absolutely be going to see this.

Monday, February 17, 2014

Short Spank: BDSM Arts and Sciences


I was talking with some buddies this weekend and we were discussing all the different endeavors that we've been up to lately.  When they get a chance (and they pretty much always attempt to, especially the gay guys) they somehow steer the conversation over to--of course--my bondage Master job.

Since it was afternoon and everyone there was caffeinated already, they tolerated me discussing the more technical, psychological aspects of Domming (rather than discussing "freaky" gimp masks and whatnot--I've already told them enough about that kind of stuff; they can handle the less sensational bits without dazing off at this point).

Someone said:  "Well, that sounds kind of complicated."

Me:  "It is."

Them:  "So, it's like.....BDSM Arts and Sciences.  It's serious.  Do they offer a degree in it?"

Me:  "Nope.  Not at the moment, at least."

Them:  "Universities should start offering degrees in that."

Me:  "You know it."

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Inquisition


Here is a questionnaire for submissives.  

Although it's perfect for any submissive (no matter what their gender declaration/nondeclaration or sexual orientation may be), it's customized for those who intend to serve or already serve a Master i.e. a male Dominant.

But, by all means, use it as a template for any slave boy or girl to explore their mindset or to reestablish their priorities/tastes.  This questionnaire can be altered for your own purposes of course (for example: you bi/hetero males--and also bisexual and lesbian ladies--can twist a few parts in order to suit your own interests angled at serving a Domme female).

Now for my established slaves and those who are considering being my slaves (as well as those of you who are readers of this blog, no matter where you are):

Go ahead and use this questionnaire.  Read the questions and send me your answers.  It's simply research.  It gives me an impression of what people are thinking about, how things may have changed, and what the BDSM world is into at the moment.

As always, my email is:  Master-Aiden@hotmail.com  

It helps to get the wheels spinning and to hone in on what your mindset is.

How you answer the questions doesn't necessarily mean that your Master is going to automatically make them all happen for you.  This questionnaire was created to provide insight regarding the submissive's personality type.  It's not a restaurant menu.

But I'm always curious.  I'm always a glutton for information.

There are no wrong answers to these questions as long as you answer them honestly.

Some questionnaires are fun to take and I think that this is one of them.  Let's begin......
..............................................................................

Section 1:  Essentials
(All answers to questions 1 through 5 MUST be restricted to 4 words or less.  Follow your flow of consciousness by choosing the best words that pop into your head.)

1.)  Choose 4 words about kink that appeal to you.

2.)  When you imagine yourself being submissive, you think of.....

3.)  When you imagine qualities of a Dungeon Master, you think of.....

4.)  When you think of punishment, you think of.....

5.)  Your idealized concept of a dungeon would have......

Section 2:  True or False

6.)  You are comfortable with the idea of embracing the submissive side of yourself during roleplay.  True or False?

7.)  You enjoy the imaginative/idealized aspects of BDSM scenarios but you're a realist as well.  True or False?

8.)  You are enthusiastic about the idea of being made to follow the orders of a man.  True or False?

9.)  You do not feel ashamed about your homoerotic fantasies.  True or False?

10.)  You understand that scenes can be stopped or paused when necessary.  True or False?

Section 3:  Multiple Choice
(For questions 11 through 15, you may choose one answer, multiple answers, or none.)

11.)  You are more of a:
         a.)  pain slave
         b.)  humiliation and punishment slave
         c.)  bondage slave
         d.)  service slave
         e.)  all of the above, Master!
         f.)   none of them
         g.)  other:  [add your own answer]

12.)  On a spectrum, you would consider yourself to be:
         a.)  typically kinky
         b.)  maybe a little kinkier than most people
         c.)  extremely kinky
         d.)  a bit kinky; your fetishes are very minimal/specific

13.)  If you were to serve a Master, you would feel intrigued by the idea of:
        a.)  being spanked/paddled
        b.)  being flogged/whipped
        c.)  being violated by toys
        d.)  being bound
        e.)  all of these
        f.)   none of these

14.)  You love the idea of being forced to worship a man's:
        a.)  cock
        b.)  balls
        c.)  ass
        d.)  armpits
        e.)  feet
        f.)  none of these
        g.)  other:  [add your own answer]

15.)  Roleplay scenarios that you are attracted to include:
        a.)  classic Dungeon Master and slave
        b.)  student and Teacher
        c.)  employee and Boss
        e.)  athlete and Trainer/Coach
        f.)  the kidnapped victim and the Abductor
        g.)  patient and Doctor
        h.)  serf and King/Prince
        i.)   all of these
        j.)   none of these
        k.)  other:  [add your own answer]

Section 4:  Quick Essays

16.)  You want to play the submissive because......

17.)  You first realized that you were attracted to BDSM when......

18.)  What interests you THE MOST about BDSM is.....

19.)  What really turns you off about BDSM is.....

20.)  Your fetishes include.....

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

If You Love Someone, Show Them That You Care.......


......by tying them up.

Or doing some romantic CBT.

Spank your Valentine.

Even if it's just a little bit.  At least 1 good, sharp whack on the ass.  Or 2.  Or 3....

Yeah, give your special someone (whether it's your spouse, lover, boyfriend, trick, an "it's complicated", an individual that you are physically attracted to yet repulsed by their personality, a crush from your office, that distant cousin that you have a sick, forbidden obsession with), whoever it is that lights up your life.....

.....give them a meaty smack on the booty.

Or give them a nipple twist.  That's fine too.  Whatever floats your swan-shaped, Tunnel of Love boat.

When they ask "What the fuck was that for!?!", just remind them that it's Valentine's Day and tell them that Master Aiden made you do it.

It will be so easy to do.

Do it for me.  That's not asking much.  They will appreciate the gesture.

Do it for your good friend, Master Aiden.  That's my magic wish for this weekend.

Some people want World Peace for Valentine's Day.  I say that we'll get to that shit later on.  For now, though, we all need some spankings.  Starting out with small pieces of pleasure is the pathway to global harmony.  So, you know, baby steps.

Find a butt.  Choose it.  Whack it.

Happy Valentine's Day

XOXO,

Master Aiden


......and, on that note, here's a card featuring what seems to be a gay Dominant cartoon alligator with a thing for boots and denim.  He also appears to be wearing some kind of bondage cuff(?) along with a dungeon-worn brown leather vest.  He looks like the type of guy who likes to play rough.  It would have been cooler if they would have given him a studded belt with a big buckle or something along those lines, but why nitpick?  Regardless, this is a Very Nice valentine from me to you.

Have a good weekend.

Monday, February 10, 2014

Yes, Master (entry 96): Dedication


Launched in 2009 as a regular column for Washington D.C.'s The New Gay website, "Yes, Master" is a series of essays, Q&A's, and rants by Chicago pro Dom, Master Aiden.  The new entries of "Yes, Master" continue here on MasterAiden.blogspot.com.  Feel free to write in, ask questions, etc.:  Master-Aiden@hotmail.com
.......................

One of the biggest misconceptions about those who have a passion for BDSM, the BDSM lifestyle, etc. is that it's a 24/7, 365 thing for all of us:  relentless, all-consuming, nonstop.

I do know of people who live the full Gorean lifestyle.  Every hour of every day is locked into the Dominance and submission frame of mind complete with concrete roles, protocol, interlocked bank accounts, limited social circles, and so on.  It works for them.  It's what they're comfortable with.  It's what makes them happy for right now.  A lot of them tend to not last too long doing things that way but, yes, there are the hardcore exceptions.

One of the things that I get concerned about--something that pops up regularly--is when people who are interested (non-practicing but interested as in "they're thinking about getting into it but haven't quite yet") in S&M shy away from it because they're under the impression that in order to be a true bondage/fetish kinkster, you must go all out all the time.  Your home has to be strictly black vinyl drapes, a cage in every corner, nipple clamps dangling on every doorknob.  If you're not 100% dedicated to the leather scene, then why bother?

Because it's not necessary to go down that route.  You don't have to do that.  At all.

There is no "Go Hard Or Go Home!" policy in the BDSM world; there never has been and there never will be.  I think that everyone who is interested in BDSM, should feel comfortable dipping their toes in the black waters.  I'm not big on alienation and one-upmanship because, in the long run, that doesn't do any of us any favors.

Some of the most enthusiastic BDSMer's that I personally know don't have whips mounted on their walls and own just as many polo shirts as gimp masks.  They compartmentalize.  They love going to the dungeon--when they get a chance, when they're feeling up to it--but they also have other shit to do.

BDSM certainly is a part of their lives, an important element at that, but they know that there are times to toss the canes into the storage unit, lock it up, and attend to their in-laws......the in-laws who have absolutely no desire to see their daughter wearing a ringed collar, for instance.  It isn't that the in-laws are not accepting of the intricacies of private life, it's just that they don't want to see it all the time.  Or ever.  You don't need to wear your shackles to Easter dinner.  Not doing so doesn't mean that you're less legit, less of a kinkster......it just means that you're confident in how you manage your personal operations and you feel full ownership over them as opposed to your personal inclinations having full ownership over you.  You don't need to constantly have your nuts in a literal or figurative vice.  Trying Too Hard, you acknowledge, tends to be the territory of beginners and those wrestling with insecurity; those concerned with constantly maintaining Face within their local BDSM scenes (wherever those may be, however big they are).

When you need to give it a rest, give it a rest.

I wrote recently about my personal choice in making sure that I scene, do BDSM sessioning in some capacity, at least a couple of times a week, and that it's strictly my individual preference--it's because I am a professional Master, it's my job, and I need to stay on top of things.  Just like if you play on a basketball team, you shouldn't skip practices too often or you'll be less than your best when game time comes around.  Understand?  So, yeah, of course I practice often!  I've got to.  It's the right thing to do.  I love my sport i.e. BDSM.

Now what about you?  If you enjoy BDSM, and you consider it a large or decently large part of your life, then--yes--it absolutely helps you feel lubricated (you know what I mean.....) if you don't go a year or two years or six months without doing bondage play.  Enjoy your ropes and paddles.  Don't neglect them.  We all know that they probably weren't cheap.

But do you need to do S&M every day?  Or even once a week?  You?

Nah, of course not.

Enjoy kink but there's no need to have it consume your entire life.  Very few people are able to/need to/want to/should do that.

What happens a lot in the BDSM world, that no one talks about (but I'm going to talk about it!), is people tend to burn out from it.  The social aspects of their local bondage scenes can get on the nerves of some people who are deeply entrenched in those scenes (somebody breaks up with somebody, pisses off someone else, somebody around them gets butthurt, and so on) and then WHOOSH! they vanish from the scene never to appear again (well, until someone bumps into them at Comic Con or whatever.  That's probably inevitable.).  Kinksters can be extremists.  Some people thrust themselves headfirst, 110%, at whatever the newest "thing" may be in their lives, with fanatic gusto, until they eventually exhaust themselves or unravel their social fabric for whatever reason ("Kelsey moved to Seattle.  She needed to get away from the drama.").  Chances are that you, dear readers, have known people like this.

Avoid exhausting yourself from BDSM if you feel that you're getting burned-out from it.  Invest in other things in your life.  If people are being grouchy in the scene and giving you a headache, see them once a month instead of every weekend.  Don't completely toss them out of your circle of friends; just scale back a bit.  Relax.  Maybe you don't need to be worrying about what your Mistress is doing every single day.  Attend to her once a week or once a month or a few times a week if that's what serves you best but also call your friends from college, go to work like a normal person, and clean out your basement when you need to.  We can do BDSM and still be "normal"......or, to look at it another way, not constantly engaging in BDSM, attending to other "normal" things, doesn't make us any less kinky.

Everything in moderation including moderation but, yes, that still involves moderation to some degree.

Being a real-deal BDSM enthusiast, a dedicated kinkster, doesn't necessarily mean that you have to become obsessed with bondage/fetish.  Obsession and dedication are not the same things.  Allow yourself (and/or your slaves and/or your Dominant) a little bit of breathing room.  Have a healthy, happy, multifaceted life ("happiness in misery!"--yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it slave boys, but be happily miserable from time to time rather than all the time so that you can continue experiencing happiness within your misery--so that you don't get sick of it and so that your indulgent "misery" continues making you happy).  Pace yourself.  We all love chocolate cake because we don't eat it at every single meal.  "Vanilla" can be a palate-cleanser every once in a while.

Even I don't put on my fetish gear every day.  Some days I just go to grad school, do my laundry, and watch stupid cat videos online.  Some days I simply don't give a fuck which drawer I put my studded jockstrap in.  I'll find it eventually.  I'm not worried about it.  Some weekends I don't want to go to that dungeon party; maybe I'd rather head over to my friend's art gallery opening and not discuss the differences between neoprene and rubber (Artsies will tolerate raunch talk for a little while but, eventually, they will need to discuss where ever it is they're moving because they're always moving somewhere--anywhere but where ever it is that they are!--because they don't want to feel tied down.  I love them but they drive me fucking nuts.).  I'll go to the dungeon the following weekend instead.  Partially because too many gallery openings will make you want to punch yourself repeatedly in the face. (I'm just kidding)

Am I a dedicated kinkster?  Abso-fucking-lutely!  But I know that in order to keep my passion for bondage running on all cylinders for an extended length of my life (it's been over 12 years now since I was introduced to BDSM--hooray for consistency!) and moving forward, I have to have a good relationship with it to a balanced degree; so that my kinky lifestyle remains sustainable.....so when it's time to stomp into the dungeon, I'm swinging the flogger with an evil grin on my face.

Balance, my loves.  If you over-do it, you'll feel burned-out.

"No I won't Master Aiden!  That's how hardcore I am (this month)!".

Oh please.  I know you better than you know yourself.  Most of the fanatics eventually lose steam.  Avoid that.

The leather-BDSM world is a great world.  It's worth keeping.  Live a balanced life, have fun with your fetishes.  Pacing your naughty, nasty self--by maintaining a sustainable sense of balance that you feel comfortable with--makes you no less dedicated to kink.