Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Material World

Chicago's Leather Archives and Museum will be curating a new exhibit, Materialkink, in June focusing on fetish artworks through different mediums by international artists.

The opening reception will be on Friday, June 30th 2017, from 5:30pm through 7:30pm.

A page about this exhibit is here:


This sounds really interesting; I'll definitely be going to see this exhibit once it's at the Leather Archives.

Friday, April 21, 2017

....and some more of these

Last batch of sneak-peek images from the upcoming Spring 2017 Gallery, which will be up at the end of next week most likely.

This one is another big, long, sprawling S&M epic shot in 3 different states (because that's how we roll) centered around fantasy and dreams, possibility and nature, etc., etc., and so on.

There are a lot of different concepts that I wanted to get to for this set of pictures but I know what my schedule is going to be like until the end of the month--I have a lot of work and BDSM sessions with clients and the model who's being the submissive for this set of pictures (he's doing a fantastic job) is a busy guy too--so I'll probably do some Bonus Shots next month, in May, also.  Different backdrops, gear, and clothes that are centered around a certain theme or story (per usual).  All of the concepts are good so I want to get to each of them.  As always, it all comes down to scheduling.  Like everything else in life.

Okay so, in the meantime, a few more pics.  As for the rest of them (I always like to save the best for last), you're going to have to wait until the completion of the Spring Gallery.  Very soon, I promise.

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Popularity Contest

Statistically, according to studies--supposedly--, the most common fetishes that people admit to are:

- spanking (of course)

- Domination and submission (cool)

- role-play (but what kind of role-play is not specified)

- foot fetish (yep)

- adult baby (I find this surprising because, in my experience, this is one of the rarer requests)

- water sports (no shock there)

- cross dressing (again, not shocking)

- rubber and latex (contemporary)

- multiple partners/groups (but is this really a fetish though...?....)

- voyeurism (no doubt)

Hmmm.  Where is leather?  Where is nipple play?  Where is CBT?  I'm not sure if all of this is 100% accurate regarding the population in general but I always find this kind of stuff to be interesting.

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

more of these

a couple more shots from the spring gallery coming later this month

Monday, April 17, 2017

4 Score

According to Kink University, the kinkiest cities in the United States are:

1. Portland (huh?!)

2. San Francisco (makes sense)

3. NYC (makes sense)

4. our beloved Chicago (hey, at least we're in the Top 5 so that's nice)

5. Washington D.C. (ha!)

Thursday, April 13, 2017


Have a ridiculous, fun, and Happy Easter!  (and here's that nightmarish bunny from "Donnie Darko" just to emphasize the point)


Master Aiden

Monday, April 10, 2017

Meet New Peeple

This is kind of genius......

The Pleasure Chest stores will be doing a Peep Hunt on Sunday, April 16th (yes, Easter morning) from 10 am through 12 noon.

Find hidden peeps to win prizes and discounts on toys.  First come, first served.  Free refreshments and light snacks.  They recommend showing up early.

So, you kinksters, Google "Pleasure Chest store Chicago", find the one nearest you, and actually do something productive on Easter morning.  You never know what you'll get!

Sunday, April 9, 2017


a few more shots from the upcoming Spring 2017 Gallery that I'll post in a couple of weeks; still more to do

Friday, April 7, 2017

Normal People Doing Normal Things

One of the conversations that's been circling within the BDSM community over the past few years revolves around the topic of whether the "normalization" of fetish/kink/S&M within culture/pop culture is beneficial to the scene or detrimental.

Topics relating to "Fifty Shades", more kinky/bondage-y scenes, moments, allusions mentioned within movies, tv shows, and so on.....  You hear and see kink/leather, etc. now more than ever.

Is that a good thing? 

Does "normalizing" (familiarizing.....) kink diminish some of its subversive power and appeal?

To me, it doesn't.  I don't believe that any of this is a bad thing and I'll tell you why:

Erotic fantasies are a Twilight Zone that everyone has lurking within themselves.  People are kinky.  Everyone, more or less, has an imagination that occasionally wanders away from what would be considered vanilla fantasies.  Yeah, sure, I understand that some people fantasize about holding hands with a loved one, kissing, taking a bubble bath with your spouse, and then having extremely traditional physical relations.  That's nice.

But I also think that it's safe to say that most people fantasize (and practice!) on a grittier wavelength when it comes to eroticism. 

Kink and fetish encompass a lot of different things.  It's a broad spectrum.

I know, first-hand, that many people with unconventional (or what they believe is unconventional) erotic tastes spend a part of their lives feeling unnecessarily tormented, guilty, or isolated due to their personal interests and those toxic feelings can corrode people in sneaky, numerous ways.  Unexamined, unaccepted impulses and interests can cause people to destroy themselves.  For what!?  Because of some harmless, kinky fantasies?!  Big fucking deal.  Join the club.  The members are, literally, most humans on earth.

I want kinky people to thrive, accept themselves, and comfortably explore their interests unassisted and with others.  One of the first steps into making that happen is the understanding that they're not alone in their "dark", "twisted" fantasies.  Kink and health (physical, emotional, psychological, even spiritual) shouldn't contradict whatsoever.

Facing bondage/fetish storylines on a relatively frequent basis sends out a message that "strange", perhaps, may not be so uncommon after all.

Friday, March 31, 2017

Yes, Master (entry 147): March 2017 Q&A's

Launched in 2009 as a regular column for Washington D.C.'s The New Gay website, "Yes, Master" is a series of essays, Q&A's, and rants by Chicago pro Dom, Master Aiden.  The new entries of "Yes, Master" continue here on MasterAiden.blogspot.com.  Feel free to write in, ask questions, etc.:  Master-Aiden@hotmail.com

Alright, here are some new questions and answers!  Thanks to everybody emailed me with your inquiries (there were plenty of good ones).

Q:  Are most of your slaves older men or do you get younger guys also?

A:  My submissives run a full spectrum of people from those in their mid-20's up into their 70's.

Q:  I'm pretty sure that you did some photos a while back where you were smoking; that's a big turn-on for me since I've had a fetish for men smoking in leather jackets for as long as I can remember.  I always had a thing for the old-fashioned greaser look.  Do you smoke, Master?

A:  No, I don't smoke.  I know which photos you're referring to but that was to sort of communicate a character for scening rather than reflecting my actual habits.  I'm straight edge (no smoking, no drinking, no drugs, etc.) and have been for a long, long time.  But I do love my caffeine (coffee and Diet Pepsi)!  The smoking thing was only for a photograph, to reflect a certain mood.

Q:  When I first started reading your blog I was surprised by your sense of humor, especially when it comes to BDSM.  Where does that come from?

A:  Humor means a lot to me.  I'm a big believer in having a clear perspective and a little bit of comedy here and there absolutely has a way of clarifying things better than most outlooks (in my opinion, at least).  But, at the same time, I've always been kind of a serious guy so maybe that's why I really love Louis C.K., George Carlin, Chris Rock, Joan Rivers, Chelsea Handler, Zach Galifianakis, etc. because they have a way of cutting through bullshit.  I'm not a huge fan of bullshit.  I know that people can be salty about Amy Schumer but I like her and I think that she's talented; people need to stop being so cranky all the time.

Q:  Do you ever feel guilty after you've beaten one of your submissives?

A:  No.  They come to me begging for a whoppin' and I'm happy to provide that for them.

Q:  Thank you for featuring a lot of spandex/lycra in your photo shoots!  Is that what you wear during sessions?  I'm new to kink and I was wondering where you get your spandex outfits from?

A:  I get spandex wear from all over the place.  I love limited, small amounts of leather (boots are great, cuffs, jockstraps, thongs, whatever) but I do very active, rigorous, drawn-out BDSM sessions and I have to be comfortable during those scenes.  Imagine spending 3 hours running around a dungeon, tying people up, whipping them, etc. and you'll get the picture.  I'm only interested in wearing cotton or spandex during sessions (which is what athletes wear during games and practices for obvious reasons).  I have no interest in wearing head-to-toe leather or rubber while doing BDSM.  Too much leather during long sessions can get too hot--ditto for rubber gear (which looks great but, if you bump into something sharp in the dungeon or tear your rubber gear, it's totally fucked; say goodbye to your $500 latex bodysuit).  Spandex is durable, breathable, looks right, is affordable, and makes perfect sense for S&M play.  I, personally, don't bother with anything else.  Some good places to get this kind of gear are N2N, Rufskin, Spandexman, SlickItUp, and Maskulo.

Q:  Do you always include flogging in your sessions?

A:  Flogging is a typical request, definitely, but not everyone enjoys it.  I always ask first before I assume anything about my slaves.

Q:  You look like someone that I went to high school with who was on our school's soccer team.  This was in Utah so I don't think that's you but I always had a crush on this person.  Did you ever play soccer, Master Aiden?

A:  I have no connection to Utah nor have I ever been there.  I'm from Michigan and now live in Chicago, Illinois.  I like soccer, and I did casually play soccer with friends while growing up but, no, I was never on the soccer team because that interfered with track (the team that I was on during spring, same season as soccer in the Midwest, USA).  I did cross country running, swim team, and track team.

Q:  What's the strangest request that you've ever gotten during a session, Sir?

A:  From a numbers perspective, yes, some requests are more unusual than others.  Some fetishes are more "quirky" than others but I don't want to call anyone's fetishes strange per se.  Have I gotten some unorthodox (even when it comes to BDSM) requests during my years doing professional Domming?  You bet.  I try my best to fulfill peoples fantasies but I definitely have my personal limits like everyone else does (everybody has limits, even us pro Masters and Mistresses) and, sometimes, a request is so elaborate that it's pretty much impossible to fulfill.  The fancier the request is (the more details, props, locations, people, and so on), the harder it is to make it happen.

Q:  Would you allow me to use poppers during a session?

A:  I would prefer that my slaves not use poppers.  I know that some guys are super into poppers during S&M play--which is fine--but it's not something that I'm enthusiastic about.  To each their own.

Q:  What do you think of diaper and adult baby play?

A:  I have slaves who are into these kinds of scenes and I want them to feel comfortable exploring their personal interests.  When it comes to my personal preferences, I'm actually kind of "basic" as far as BDSM goes.  I like spanking, bondage, worship, flogging, etc. but, if a slave of mine wants to wear a diaper and be treated like a big baby while he gets teased and punished, he's welcome to do that.

Q:  Would you soap a slave's mouth as a form of punishment?

A:  I have, yes.  But this is a very, very specific request and not something that I would do to most slaves unless they made it especially clear that this was a fantasy of theirs.

Q:  Do you do fisting?

A:  No, I don't do fisting anymore.  I have done/attempted to do that in the past to certain slaves who've requested fisting.  I know that plenty of you out there have a fantasy about being fisted.  I want to make this clear:  Fisting is not something that most people are physically capable of handling.  I've heard people say:  "With a lot of practice, it can be done."  This is true.  They're right about that.  I've seen it get done (or at least attempted.....) but I think that this is something that only an extremely slim minority of individuals are able to endure.  Things don't gross me out, typically, so that's not the issue.  What does concern me, however, is attempting to fist someone and then having them screaming in pain like a soul in Dante's Inferno, even though the Dominant (i.e. me) is being as careful and considerate as humanly possible with all the right tactics, patience, lubricants, gloves, and supplies.  There's only so much someone can do.  I have no interest in sending anyone to the hospital, maiming them, or playing a part in pushing someone's anatomy to the nth degree.  I won't do it and I have no interest in extremo/maybe-they'll-end-up-in-the-emergency-room-and-maybe-they-won't BDSM play.  Life is too short for that.  To me, at least.  I've had people promise me that they can handle fisting and so we've tried, resulting in them not be able to handle it or even come close to being able to handle it.  This has also led to me asking:  "Okay.....you said that you've been fisted before.  So what seems to be the problem?" to which the slave replied "Well....maybe I haven't actually been fisted before but I've had people try....."  That's not the same thing, my friend.  This sort of thing has happened to me a few times.  Which made me feel like I was being deceived or set up for failure (which is a big No-No for those who play with me).  People have fantasies, they see an erotic film of a very skilled/broken-in adult star who takes on plenty of fisting and their body has been enduring it for years, and then they think to themselves "Oh, I can handle that too, right?".  In reality, no, you probably can't.  If you want to explore that fantasy, explore it with someone else.  I won't help you out with that.  I don't want to seriously hurt someone, send them to the hospital, or be responsible for them overreaching their fantasies.  You can have somebody fist you, but it won't be me.

Q:  I'm interested in doing a step-father roleplay.  In this fantasy, you're the angry step-dad, I'm the bad boy coming home from college, and you have to spank me.  Would you ever do a scene like that?

A:  Ha!  Of course!  I'll get out my best paddle for ya.

Q:  Are you going to IML (International Mr. Leather) this year?

A:  Yes, I'll be in and out, depending on the day and hour, attending to sessions with slaves.  I won't be there the whole time but, yeah, I'll definitely be there during certain parts of the weekend.  If you want to do a session with me during IML weekend, schedule with me as soon as you have a good idea of what your schedule is going to be like so that we can be sure to get a session in.  As you can imagine, IML is always a complicated weekend for me (scheduling-wise) so it really helps a lot if you and I can lock in a specific date/time/location as far in advance as possible.

Q:  What's the best dungeon that you've ever been to?

A:  They're all different.  Every dungeon has its pluses and minuses and it seems that no one can agree which dungeon is best (maybe that's a good thing, actually).  I like dungeons that are clean, adequately lit, and have sinks, soap, water, cleansers, and waste baskets easily available.

Q:  Why don't you like shibari, Master?  You should try it again!  Personally, I love it.

A:  In truth, I love shibari too.  It's beautiful and I know plenty of people who are good, or at least decent, at it.  I think it's fascinating.  As for me, I don't have the patience for shibari.  I love my chains, straps, and shackles when it comes to bondage (and I love bondage tape too), and I know my personality pretty well at this point, so I stick with my favorite stuff.

Q:  After reading your blog for years, it seems that Chicago has more leather events than most big cities.  This is surprising since I would have guessed that L.A. and NYC would have the most.

A:  I don't know if Chicago, technically, has more leather events than Los Angeles, San Francisco, and NYC.  I'm guessing that these cities probably have a similar amount of kink events but I don't know.  It is surprising how many leather events Chicago has but it's great!  Hopefully it will continue that way.

Q:  Would you be the entertainment at my bachelorette party?

A:  Yeah, I'd do it.  That's one way to spice things up, pre-wedding.

Thursday, March 30, 2017

Midwest + Men + Leather

Chicago's biggest leather weekend is in May but(!) there's a big leather weekend happening in Cleveland, OH at the end of April.

Information, registration, and schedule for CLAW (Cleveland Leather Annual Weekend)--taking place April 27th through the 30th--is right HERE

spring gallery 2017, next month

We're working on the Spring 2017 set of pics right now and into next month; the new pics will be here on this blog at the end of April, after Easter.

I need to do a lot of editing but here's a few that we've done so far.  The theme for this set of pics is kind of weird (as though the themes for my other fetish shoots have been normal.....but you know what I mean) but it's a good one:  Survival/Wishcraft.

Basically, merging the natural with the fantastical.  So, I guess, it's really not that weird for BDSM.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Wild Imaginations

There are workshops for BDSM writers coming up in Washington and in New York for those of you who write S&M erotic fiction.

The website for the BDSM Writers Convention is HERE

There will be author lectures, bondage demos, awards, and mixers.  I think that this is a good concept since I know that there are plenty of you out there (including some of you who read this blog; some of you have shared your work with me which I really enjoyed reading--thank you) who either do S&M writing already or are at least considering doing it.  I say go for it!

Thursday, March 16, 2017

Vocabulary Lesson

The word of the day is:  Disinhibition

According to a recent study, BDSM allows a certain degree of disinhibition for individuals acting as submissive.  Their typical concerns for following social conventions were put on hold while they engage in behaviors, privately, that they wouldn't perform in any other setting.

The study also noted that people experiencing these temporary spells of disinhibition were almost always those who felt powerful in their day-to-day lives meaning that they typically held (at least) a degree of social status and/or professional success. 

The study didn't imply that these people were escaping their powerful daily duties/statuses (as is common theory) but, instead, noted that the participants felt enough confidence in their lives that they allowed themselves to take on "submissive" roles in playacting scenarios because they felt that their power was, in no genuine way, truly threatened.  Basically, they felt like they had capital to burn.

Very interesting......but not very surprising.  Overall, the study concluded that it takes power and confidence in order to pretend to be powerless. 

All of this is stuff that I've been saying for years!

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

from far away

Whenever you order anything online, you can never be 100% sure of what you're getting. 

You can be 98% confident!  Or even 99% sure that what you'll get will be exactly what you were intending to get but, then again, there's that other 1 or 2% chance that what you receive may be a little bit different than what you thought you'd be getting and that can change everything......

I've had good experiences with ordering stuff online and bad experiences too.  As we all have, right?  Most likely.

Luckily, everything that I ordered for the upcoming spring photo shoot is great.  I ordered a lot of different fetish gear (both for me and for the model who be the submissive on the next shoot) and I thought to myself:  "Chances are that one or two of these somethings are going to be sent over all fucked up, not sent at all (it happens), will be the wrong size, and/or will look like a janky version of the picture that I saw online."

Okay, so, this time one little item didn't come at all.  It wasn't expensive and it wasn't a big deal so I just ordered something similar from another distributor.  Done.  Problem taken care of.

Fetishwear is a tricky thing.  Sometimes you buy something in your size and, no matter what you do, it just doesn't look right.  Either the cut of it sucks or your body--no matter how in-shape you are--just doesn't mesh well with that particular design.  Sometimes one person will look great in one type of fetishwear and then you pass it over to another person and, for whatever reason, it looks off.  Luckily, for this shoot, all the pieces will look right.  I've received all the stuff from all over the place (everything came in earlier than projected which is a small miracle unto itself), I've looked at it, tried my wear on, and it's all good.  Thankfully!

But you're going to have to wait until April to see what I'm talking about.  Ha

My submissives on the other hand--the ones who session with me--will more than likely get a sneak preview of the new gear.

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Yes, Master (entry 146): Pathways

Launched in 2009 as a regular column for Washington D.C.'s The New Gay website, "Yes, Master" is a series of essays, Q&A's, and rants by Chicago pro Dom, Master Aiden.  The new entries of "Yes, Master" continue here on MasterAiden.blogspot.com.  Feel free to write in, ask questions, etc.:  Master-Aiden@hotmail.com

This is something that affects BDSM/fetish/bondage newbies--those who are new to the leather world--especially.....

When we first start out in the fetish world, we look towards the internet (in the good ol' days, it was books, magazines, and erotic films; nowadays it's definitely the internet) for guidance.  The how-to's.  The do's and don'ts.  What's cool and what isn't.  What's correct, etiquette-wise, and what's incorrect.

You'll come across many, many opinions and plenty of voices.  And, yep, that includes me and whatever it is that I happen to be yammering away about on this blog.  Sometimes it's one subject and then it's on to something completely different.

These are just opinions and recommendations based on my own life experiences--for whatever they're worth--as a result of my inner logic, the S&M adventures that I've been through, and my specific personality.  There is no monolith in BDSM.  There is no one who can claim that they're the ultimate authority on fetish do's and don'ts.  Of course not.

Everyone is different.  Everyone has their own individual tastes and range of experiences both good and bad.

Whatever you read on here is a reflection of my thoughts.  And whatever you read on other peoples' BDSM websites/blogs is simply the result of their lives and what they believe.  To younger kinksters, especially, I want to make this very clear:

What fetish is to YOU is your own choice.  You have to create your own definitions, identity, rules, and code of conduct that you stand firmly for that your partner(s) in play will have to agree to while the two (or more!) of you are engaged in fetish scening.  And it's entirely possibly (probable, actually) that you and your play partner will have different rules and standards than what you've had with others and what your partner has had between themselves and some other partners.

So, really, the rules change per partnership. 

What is kosher, allowed, appropriate, acceptable, and unacceptable morphs depending on the unique combination of people involved.  This is why it's necessary to discuss things thoroughly with your play partner before you get down to it.

I realize that the fetish world can seem overwhelming, mesmerizing even, when you first get into it.  Don't be mesmerized.  Don't be intimidated.  No matter what anyone says, there is no specific etiquette that you need to be versed in before you begin playing.  I've been in situations where I've heard people say "This is how it's done.  This is the right way to do it.  I thought that everyone knew that."

I'm sure that most of you would agree with me in saying that we don't want to shape our own experiences, necessarily, around how things were done at one specific place with one specific group of people at one specific time period.

Things change, folks.  Subcultures are constantly reshaping themselves based on year, faction, and location.  Don't assume anything.

So if anyone gives you attitude (and you will encounter attitude at some point), don't buy into it; you've done nothing wrong by not being automatically aware of whatever minutiae their particular dungeon rules consist of.  You know how every household--whether it was your own family or your friends' families--has it's own rules/do's/don'ts?

Same thing with BDSM.

That being said, typically the Dominant lays the foundation of rules which will receive add-on's and compromises via the submissive.  Usually.

No matter what your range of experience is, you have absolutely as much authority over how and what your BDSM scenes are, and how you define them, as your partner in play.  If you're not sure what to do, just go with common sense.  If you fuck something up with someone, get over it and move the scene forward.

Personally speaking, it's better--when beginning to scene with a partner new to you--to start off light and easy on someone (if you find yourself in the Domming role) and let the submissive communicate to you (whether verbally or through body signals) if they can handle harsher punishment.  Like with cooking and painting, it's easier to add more than to take away.  Some people may disagree with me on that but, hey, to each their own.

Aside from that, you'll figure things out for yourself.  Which is the way that it should be.  One of my main concerns is that some people who are new to BDSM are under the impression that there is some complex bible of rules that they're expected to know and follow (which is nonsense) and then they get overwhelmed to the point where they no longer want to engage in real-life BDSM because it feels daunting.  I'd much rather have people feel empowered with a "learn as you go along" approach and actually Do Things For Real instead of just leaving things to the "experts" and watching from the sidelines.  I want you guys and girls to really try out BDSM, feel comfortable, and not be overly anxious when it comes to lack of experience.  I know that a lot of people don't get to enjoy BDSM until later in life (once they've reached a level of confidence and relaxation towards their personal fetishes) but it would be great if more people got to enjoy the leather world earlier in their adulthoods.  Life is short.  Enjoy yourself with care, truthfulness, and gusto.  It's beneficial to be inspired and informed by other people but, when it comes down to it, you have to create your own pathway for how fetish will fit into your world.

Just be yourself, communicate honestly and effectively, and learn by doing.

Sunday, February 12, 2017

Lupe troop

Way back in the days of ancient Rome, you'd be anxiously getting ready for this time of the year but it had nothing to do with buying cards and boxes of chocolates.  The Romans, being hardcore, wouldn't waste their time on that kind of namby-pamby nonsense.  No, no, certainly not.


In the middle of February, they celebrated the Lupercalia Festival which honored the founders of Rome, human twin bros Romulus and Remus.  The "Lupe" in Lupercalia means "wolf" as in the she-wolf that raised the boys (yes, like how Mowgli was saved in "The Jungle Book") before they created the city that all roads led to.

The Lupercalia Festival started in a more spiritual mode--including chanting, rituals, dog sacrifices, goat sacrifices, blood smearing, and other spooky stuff--before turning into an all-out kink extravaganza during which priests (and whatever other guys decided to join in) stripped down bare-ass naked (or loin-clothed), created floggers from the viscera of the sacrificed goats (very creative, resourceful), and ran around town whipping people for good luck.  Party time!

The women, especially, tried to pretend like they didn't want to be whipped but those coy ladies actually wanted to be hit by the drunk Doms (which was more absurd than painful--that was the point) so that the blessed goat floggers would make them more fertile.  As with many S&M environments, the bottoms sorta/kinda pretended that they didn't want to be walloped but we all know better.......

Revelry, laughter, and craziness ensued during this old-school fertility faire that eventually changed into Valentine's Day.

Lupercalia Festival was one of the Romans' favorite times of the year.  But you probably don't need me to tell you that.

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Short Spank: A Big N-O

I've been Domming for a good, long time now.

Have I earned the right to have my own rules?  To break away from the crowd?

Yes.  I certainly think so.

I know that sometimes in the BDSM community, there can be a tendency to prove how badass we Doms are.  To be very tough, edgy, punishing, etc., etc.

I can be all those things, for sure.


......and here is the kicker.....

If I think that there's a chance that any of my activities could seriously hurt someone, put them in the hospital, or require some kind of medical involvement then I won't do it.  Fuck it.  It ain't worth it.  Not to me, at least.

I think that that's a logical stance.  I have no shame about it.

So no extreme abuse, no saline injections in peoples' ball sacks and whatnot, nothing too too heavy-duty.

Spanking/whipping/flogging?  Yes.  Fetish?  For sure.  CBT?  Definitely, in moderation.

But the stunt-work kind of stuff?

Nah.  Maybe if I would have been nudged that way a long, long time ago I would have considered it but where I'm at nowadays?  No thanks, we're good.

If other kinksters want to go super-hardcore, hooray for them.  Me?  I'll stick with fetish and bondage and moderate punishments for the ones that lean that way and the light approach for my slaves that require that way of going about things.

If an S&M activity makes me concerned about a submissive, then it's off the menu. 

I think that's fair.

Thursday, January 26, 2017

Yes Master (entry 145): Enhanced Vision

Launched in 2009 as a regular column for Washington D.C.'s The New Gay website, "Yes, Master" is a series of essays, Q&A's, and rants by Chicago pro Dom, Master Aiden.  The new entries of "Yes, Master" continue here on MasterAiden.blogspot.com.  Feel free to write in, ask questions, etc.:  Master-Aiden@hotmail.com

It would be an understatement to say that I've seen the private lives of people--their emotions, wishes, fantasies, fears, vulnerabilities, social anxieties, the deeper meanings of agreed-upon protocol and hierarchy structures, etc.--in entirely different lights because of my Domming job.

Pro Masters and Mistresses see people--many people, many different kinds of people, how we're all similar, how we're all our own islands--from odd vantage points.  To me, this is an honor and a privilege that folks are willing to reveal these sides of themselves.

I've been asked if I've become cynical after working as a BDSM Dom for 10 years.  The answer to that is a very clear No.  Not even close.  The opposite, actually. 

Working as a pro Master has made me less cynical, more empathetic, and more patient.  It's almost single-handedly murdered my shyness (may it burn in hell and never return) and forced me to be more physically present.  It's probably what I needed.  The truth of the matter is that I once was a good boy that broke bad.......and then went full circle back to being good again but in a changed, unusual way.  Beneficial wisdom gained through atypical life experience.

I've never had a more thorough understanding of how people operate privately than before I started Domming.  It's very humbling in unexpected ways.  I see things through a different lens than I used to.  It's staggering once you realize how fetishes--those deep, underlying rivers running beneath the surface of an individual's identity, sexuality, and emotional DNA--seep into other parts of peoples' lives, choices, actions, and fates.

So you want glances at the inner lives of people?

Try exploring fetish and BDSM.  You'll see things in new ways from now on.

Friday, January 13, 2017

Frequently Asked Questions

Q) What will my first experience be like with a professional BDSM Master?  I'm new to this.

A)  If you're new to BDSM, your session with me will take you through the S&M basics in a way that will be fun, thorough, and enlightening. 

Heavy pain/abuse/humiliation is for serious and deeply experienced players, not for newbies.  I'm aware of that.  If you get to the point where that's the type of session you enjoy and can handle, that's great!  We'll deal with that when you get to that point (as some of you have).  In the meantime, however, you need to be introduced to the basic elements of what BDSM is and what it can be which means different things to everyone.  Some people always stay on the lighter side of BDSM by focusing on fetish, comfortable bondage, and roleplay.  There's nothing wrong with that and plenty of my slaves have that type of temperament.  Harsh spanking, etc. is not for everyone; sometimes it's better to take a more subdued approach.

Before your first session begins, you and I will sit down and you can let me know what your interests are, what you're curious about, what turns you off, your limits, etc.  If you're willing, you could always look through the questionnaire and hone in on what your points of interest might be.  That's always a good start.

First-time sessions are relatively breezy and talked-through.  They are not stressful or scary.  I want you to have a good, enjoyable, kinky experience trying out BDSM, not a frightening one.  There's a major difference between what you see in bondage videos and movies versus how real-life professional BDSM sessions are orchestrated.  It's my job to be the realist in handling your fantasies.  I know what I'm doing and how to take care of people who are in the process of exploring their submissive sides.

Q)  Do I go to you or can you come to me?

A)  Either one.  That's your choice.  Things to consider when deciding on Incall or Outcall, are detailed on the Incalls vs. Outcalls page.  You can come to my dungeon in Chicago or I can come to your home or lodging in Chicago or the Metro Chicago area.  Anyplace within a 90-minute radius of the city is fine by me.

Q)  When are you available?

A)  I'm available to session 7 days a week.  Specific times vary by the week so make sure that you schedule your session at least 2 days in advance so that we can figure out which specific time and date (and location) will be determined for our session.  Just let me know which date, time, and location you have in mind and we'll figure it out from there.  Good scheduling is always the most important thing in making a BDSM session happen.

Q)  Will I get hurt?

A)  No.  And I'm used to doing sessions that will not leave marks either.  I'm a realist when conducting BDSM sessions, not an idealist.  I'm fully aware that my clients have other lives to get to once they exit the dungeon.

Some of my slaves want heavy abuse, marks, welts, red butt cheeks, etc. which I'm more than happy to dish out to some of them.

Most submissives, on the other hand, don't want that.  People have spouses to change clothing in front of, pool parties to attend, and so on.  If taking a lighter approach to S&M suits your lifestyle better, that's not a problem.  In truth, that's a typical concern.  We'll discuss what would be appropriate for you before your session begins.

Q)  Will there be other people there?

A)  No.  It will just be you and I.  I don't have my clients intermixing with each other or awkwardly bumping into each other.  That's just not a good thing.

If you want to get a third, or fourth, individual involved in our session that's fine but you'll be the one responsible for finding them, making sure that they're vetted for BDSM, that they have a general understanding of BDSM protocol, and that they're going to show up on time.  I do not recruit other Masters, Mistresses, or submissives into my sessions.  The "more the merrier" approach is fine when you're at a party but not necessarily in the dungeon.  Speaking from experience.

Q)  Will you be mean to me?

A)  The Cruel Dom archetype is a form of roleplay.  My roleplays begin and end during the session only, in the dungeon only, not during pre-session discussions and certainly not in phone calls, text messaging, or email communications.  I save the roleplays for real face-time only.  In most areas of my life, I'm an extremely polite guy.  I'm always straightforward and commanding but I don't act "mean" to my submissives unless it's during a scene that we both agreed on.  If a scene feels too intense, we can always modify the scene taking place.  I have no intention of ever truly hurting anyone or making anyone upset.  That's not the point.  Your session with me will take you on a journey through an imagined scenario.  My cruelty towards you is just pretend.  Some people are into that and some people aren't.  If you want me to be especially easy on you during a session, feel free to let me know in advance.  I'm used to dealing with extremely tolerant submissives who require heavy abuse but I'm also used to dealing with very sensitive individuals too.  I value all my clients equally and plan their sessions on a case-by-case basis, customized to their suit their interests and personalities.  Everyone is different and I love that.

Q)  How much does a BDSM session with you cost?

A)  Tributes are according to time spent.  $150 for one hour, $250 for 2 hours, $300 for 3 hours.

Q)  What should I wear?

A)  My slaves wear a full spectrum of preferred gear.  Some of them wear head-to-toe leather, others wear rubber masks, lycra jockstraps, cotton thongs, boxers, underoos, lingerie, you name it.  There's no reason to think elaborately unless that's what floats your boat.  Fetish can mean many, many things.  When in doubt, just wear something that turns you on and that you'll feel comfortable in.  Or wear nothing.  That's always an option.

As for me, I realized a long time ago that what I wear during BDSM sessions is basically a dark version of sportswear.  I have to be able to move easily and comfortably through long scenes. 

Because my slaves come in all shapes and sizes, I do not provide wearables for my clients unless we're referring to gimp masks and hoods.  I do have those that I can put you in.  As for your jockstrap or thong, you have to take care of that yourself.

Q)  Can I meet you first before an actual BDSM session?

A)  Yes.  You could always stop by my dungeon or meet me somewhere for coffee.  Meetings are $100 per hour.

Q)  What is the protocol for addressing you?

A)  Master or Sir is fine.