Fantasies are powerful. There's no question when it comes to that.
They exist in their own sort of strong reality; the reality within each of us.
Fantasies are figments of our imaginations, desires that boil in the back of our minds. Sometimes our desires, our wishes, become so strong and so plausible, that we have no other choice than to figure out a way to make them materialize.
BDSM play is, if nothing else, fantasy brought to life.
I've said it before and I'll say it again:
We live in a society in which we're extremely fortunate. Uniquely fortunate.
Do you realize how fortunate we are, to live in the time and places in which we live?
We are able, as adults, to explore our fantasies. No matter what gender--or how you declare your gender or nongender--, no matter what race, no matter if you're straight or gay or bisexual or other, no matter if you're a young adult or middle-aged or getting up there.......
We can be dominant or submissive if we choose to be. We can be both if we choose to be.
Your fantasies are possible. The realities in your dreams can be pulled into the physical world.
Are all fantasies doable? No, not all of them are. Some are doable, but not all of them.
Some wishes aren't plausible. Nor should they be. It's important to recognize where certain things belong, to compartmentalize.
Some dreams can merge, intact, through the membrane that exists between the inner world of peoples secret wishes and the physical plane.
But then there are other dreams that thrive in the vaults of imagination but don't translate well in the outside world. Recognize the difference.
In BDSM, compromise is everything.
BDSM is not chaos. It's not utter mayhem.
Be honest with yourself.
When something needs to be adjusted to the benefit of your S&M adventures--and the adventures of those you session with--adjust it.
BDSM is too good of a thing to be sabotaged by your own overreaching fantasies (or the overreaching fantasies of other people......).
It's not all-or-nothing. Know when to alter things, know when to compromise.
Use strategy, pre-planning, total realism (throw your rose-colored glasses into the trash bin), and effort in order to translate your BDSM desires from the world inside your head to the world that you physically experience. No, that's not asking for something outside your capability.
Some fantasies can happen verbatim. No changes necessary from your dreams to the clanking dungeon. Those fantasies are doable, plausible, realistic, safe, and not asking for too much. They're within the personal abilities of your Masters or Mistresses who have the resources and the gear--the devices, the toys, the clothing--to make them happen.
But then there are those other fantasies, on the other hand, that may need to be tossed out. Those are the fantasies that are too much, too dangerous, too vicious, too inconsiderate of others, too strategically over-the-top, or too elaborate.
Good, safe, fun, healthy BDSM is for many things--for so many things and for so much. You can absolutely transcend your previous (unnecessary) inhibitions and accomplish things in your personal life that you never thought you'd be able to do. But BDSM is not everything. It's not for everything. There are limits. For all of us. Of course there are. Know that, realize that, accept that.
Any kinkster who tells you "Anything is possible!" is getting carried away. Know when to activate your side-eye.