Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Short Spank: Lengthy Sessions


Most kink sessions (for me, at least) are an hour or 70 minutes, in general.  That's typical.

But what about sessions that are 2 hours long?  Or 3 hours or 4 hours?

How does somebody go about that?  How does a Master or a Mistress orchestrate such a long session?

Long sessions are entirely different than quick or standard ones.

You have to pace yourself, even more so than when you conduct standard-length BDSM scenes.

And you have to dish out your slave's punishments in a certain way by taking them on a journey and having there be a kind of structure--or "story"--to the ordeal that they experience (having some kind of basic plan in your head or, secretly, on note isn't a terrible idea).  You can't torment them too harshly right out of the gate.  You have to save the meaner stuff for later.  If you tap out their endurance at the beginning then it takes away from some of the anxiety that they'll be feeling throughout the session.  Build up to a crescendo and don't rush.

Monday, April 20, 2015

Get Yourself Into Some Mischief


Don't complain.

There are always plenty of fetish events happening throughout the year, especially in the Midwest.  I know that everyone is excited for International Mr. Leather at the very end of May but there are some good things happening even before then.

Head over to Des Moines, Iowa on the weekend before IML and attend Mischief in May (workshops, vendors, play parties, etc.).

Their website featuring all the info and registration is right HERE.

Friday, April 17, 2015

Short Spank: Indestructible Buns


Spanking affects people in different ways.

For some, a few moderate whacks (barely anything) is enough to cause pain and redness.  But for others, it's like you can keep beating-beating-beating them and they just continue to take it and ask for more.  The marks and the redness, for them, happen progressively after a good, long while rather than immediately.

I've met some submissives that seem to have indestructible buns.  They require a lot more abuse but that's fine; I'm always more than happy to dish out punishment.  Any time, actually.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Yes, Master (entry 118): BDSM Blunders



Launched in 2009 as a regular column for Washington D.C.'s The New Gay website, "Yes, Master" is a series of essays, Q&A's, and rants by Chicago pro Dom, Master Aiden.  The new entries of "Yes, Master" continue here on MasterAiden.blogspot.com.  Feel free to write in, ask questions, etc.:  Master-Aiden@hotmail.com
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It's happened to all us, let's not kid ourselves.

If you've been tying and flogging and shackling people for any substantial period of time, it goes without saying that--at some point, at some moment--you've fucked up a scene.

No Master or Mistress is perfect.

Whether or not you actually see (if you're the submissive) a Master or Mistress unable to find the right sadistic instrument that the scene calls for (meaning that they spend 2 minutes or so in quiet frustration i.e. "I know that those nipple clamps are around here somewhere....."; thank goodness for blindfolds, am I right?), a bondage faux pas of some kind (something's too tight or too loose or has come awkwardly undone when it shouldn't have meaning that you have to pause the scene for a moment--ugh!--to rearrange the confinement of your slave), or a beating took a sharp left turn for some reason, ALL Doms and Dominatrixes mess up from time to time.  And if they don't....then they must not being doing BDSM very often.  Unlike erotic videos and fantasies inside your head, creamy-smooth and robotic transitions from scene to scene happen due to editing via a computer or your own daydreams.  That's not an exact reflection of true, flesh-and-blood kink play.

Is real life BDSM exactly like those videos that you watch online?  No, of course not.  But we all know that already.  It can be even better in many ways!  However.....we--as Masters and Mistresses--aren't given the luxury of real-time video edits while we're conducting our S&M scenarios.  Needless to say.

I remember cracking myself on the forehead with my single-tail whip during a dungeon party (it didn't leave a significant mark, thankfully) and thinking "Good God, I hope that nobody saw that slick move."  And I don't think that anyone did (it was crowded and dark in there).  But I suspect that I most likely convinced myself that that was the case in order to make myself feel better.  Did someone see it?  Probably but, whoever they are, they were kind enough not to chuckle too loudly.

Being a Master (no matter who you are or how much front you're willing to shovel out) isn't always a study in smooth performance.

Saturday, April 11, 2015

You May


A Midwestern BDSM extravaganza!--for all adults of all orientations--is coming up at the beginning of next month in Cleveland, OH.

Kinko De Mayo

Visit their site and register HERE.

Friday, April 3, 2015

Yes, Master (entry 117): Overactive Imaginations


Launched in 2009 as a regular column for Washington D.C.'s The New Gay website, "Yes, Master" is a series of essays, Q&A's, and rants by Chicago pro Dom, Master Aiden.  The new entries of "Yes, Master" continue here on MasterAiden.blogspot.com.  Feel free to write in, ask questions, etc.:  Master-Aiden@hotmail.com
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One of the things that can trip people up the most when it comes to BDSMing--and this is mainly a problem that newbies create for themselves--is when they have impossibly high expectations for scene concepts.  Or they expect themselves (or their partners in scening) to be able to endure/produce physical/emotional stunt work that is beyond their capabilities.

Always be considerate when engaged in BDSM play (yes, even if you're being the cruel one).  Don't go too far into crazytown.  It's not that great of a place to visit.  Overrated, actually.

If you're the submissive, be aware that if a scene idea seems relatively batshit or an impossible scenario to orchestrate for the Dom......then there's a good chance that it probably is.  There's that line in "Willy Wonka" when one of the men says:  "Veruca, sweetheart, daddy's not a magician!"  It's a line that has popped into my head on a number of occasions when a submissive has asked something of me that they know deep down is asking too much.  If something seems that it could possibly maybe happen, it doesn't hurt to ask.  But if your Master replies with a "Hell no." to your request then there's good reason why he's responding that way.


In BDSM play, we definitely can put ourselves into scenarios that defy our wildest dreams; situations that exceed our expectations, situations that we've never been in before and have no realistic reference for until they actually happen.  Great stuff can happen in BDSM, you can be sure of that, and it happens all the time.  Keep your scenes doable and achievable so that BDSM is a world that you want to continue exploring.  Self-sabotaging your kink potential due to overly outlandish scening expectations doesn't help anybody.

What I'm saying is that if you have a fantasy of being bound in shrink wrap and shot out of a cannon, landing on a yacht in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean where you're tortured by hundreds of male and female supermodels dressed as naughty school teachers then, yeah, you may want to skip that request the next time you're scheduled to scene with your Master or Mistress.  Those logistics sound pretty challenging.  Expensive too.

And I understand that that, just as an example, is an interesting fantasy.  I get it.  It's a legit fantasy and everything but if you suspect that it may be asking for a bit much.....then you'd be correct in that assumption.

Stay reasonable.

Thursday, April 2, 2015

No.


If someone uses a name like mine--whether very similar, identical, or close to mine in a roundabout way--and it's not directly part of this blog that you're reading right now, or a part of my website www.MasterAiden.com.....then it's not me.

I use my email that I've been using forever (Master-Aiden@hotmail.com) when I'm in contact with people but, no, I don't use Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, Skype, Instaskypefacechat, or any of that other stuff.

A while back, when my "Yes, Master" column was part of The New Gay website run out of D.C., they set up a Facebook account for "Yes, Master".  Do I wish that they had done that?  No.  I would have preferred if they hadn't but they set up Facebook accounts for all their contributors (so that would include me).  It wasn't a big deal so I didn't raise a fuss over it.  Sometimes it's just better to simply adapt with the program and quietly roll your eyes at times, right?  Right.  But, no, I don't log onto that Facebook page or maintain it.  It's just an old remnant from a collaborative project that ended a long time ago.  Just like there's debris and junk in your garage and basement, there's old junk online too.  Welcome to the 21st Century.

Of course I like full-on conversations and seeing people in realtime in the same room face-to-face but I prefer my electronic social media in extremely small doses......extremely, extremely small, minute, miniscule doses......

No Twitter.  No Facebook.  Not for me.

Will I change my mind on those?  No.

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Absolutely Charming


If you're on the mid-East Coast--or thinking about heading over there--the weekend of April 10th will be the Charm City Fetish Fair (vendors, workshops, play parties, etc.) in Baltimore.

Get the details right HERE.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Short Spank: Women and Men


Your BDSM experience in one situation is going to be totally different from your BDSM experience in another situation.  Completely different worlds.

Submissives, or "slaves", are typically pictured or imagined as bound, restrained, captive.  But the truth is the extreme opposite.  Submissives are free to explore a multitude of different scenarios for themselves, many combinations of various S&M experiences.


I've had plenty of slaves who've enjoyed the back-and-forth between going to me and going to other dungeons and being punished by one of the Mistresses (or another Master, in some cases) there.  I think that they enjoy the contrasting tones of those different kinds of experiences, depending on if they're serving a Master or a Mistress.  And, even then, all Masters and Mistresses are quite different from one another.


Sometimes women enjoy being punished by a Man......but then, sometimes, they feel that being punished by another Woman would hit the spot.  Sometimes men enjoy being punished by a Woman.....whereas, other times, they need to be tormented by a Man.

"It's a whole different thing to be Dominated by a guy!"


Of course.  That makes sense.  I usually hear that, from somebody, about once a month or so.  I think that it's cool that they have the option of being a slave of mine for a while and then bouncing over to being the slave of a Mistress the following week or month.  And then back and forth like a leather-hooded tennis ball.  

Such greedy, indulgent gluttons for punishment!  

Good for them.

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Lucky Charms Lurking Around Every Corner


Have a safe and Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

xo,

Master Aiden

Thursday, March 12, 2015

"Yes, Master" (entry 116): Dungeon Keys


Launched in 2009 as a regular column for Washington D.C.'s The New Gay website, "Yes, Master" is a series of essays, Q&A's, and rants by Chicago pro Dom, Master Aiden.  The new entries of "Yes, Master" continue here on MasterAiden.blogspot.com.  Feel free to write in, ask questions, etc.:  Master-Aiden@hotmail.com
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Kinky leather adventures can lead us into all kinds of shadowy and strange situations, bringing up questions about who we are and what we truly desire.

Yet, at the same time, being in an S&M dungeon, bound in one or more of the 3 Holy L's (leather, lycra, latex) or barely nothing, can make you want to ask....

"Where do I put my keys?  Where do I store my wallet, phone, and ID?"

Those are valid, important questions.

Most dungeons/dungeon parties don't have coat check.  That's just how it is.

Figuring out that kind of stuff, and how you want to go about it, in advance can make your night less stressful.  Carrying around your keys/phone/$ while you're dressed in your tantalizing outfit (whatever that might be) definitely kills the fantasy.  If you're in jeans then you're fine because you can just slide your stuff into a pocket or two (but then there might be bulges that you may not want alongside the ones that you do want).....

What if what you're wearing doesn't have pockets?  Or what if it does have pockets but then everything is clanky, heavy, and looks stupid?

I know that one of the popular options (rolling your essentials up in your coat, tossing it in a corner somewhere, and hoping that no one steals anything) isn't exactly optimal.  Especially since 95% of what everyone is wearing is probably black, things can get mixed up, and dungeons tend to have lower lighting (meaning that small items can accidentally get left behind or roll into weird corners of the room if somebody is being careless).  But then you're playing and getting into the scene while there's this question in the back of your mind going:  "Gosh, I hope that nobody touches my coat while I'm doing this....." which sucks and diminishes the enjoyment factor of your night to some degree.  The best scenes are the ones that allow you to completely immerse yourself, not have nagging concerns about that kind of shit.

When I go to dungeon parties, I have a big ol' duffel bag with me loaded up with whips, shackles, chains, etc.  I don't go to dungeons to hang out and watch people; I go to engage.  I'm there to torment someone--or a couple of people if I'm having a particularly active night--and, therefore, I'm bringing a lot of nice equipment that I can use to make the evening a good time for all (especially me).

I put my keys and wallet into a side pocket of my duffel bag, make a mental note of which pocket that was exactly, place the duffel bag not too far from where we're playing, and I know that it's good.  Sure, I'll glance at it from time to time, of course, but I feel confident that everything is fine and safe where it is.  Needless to say, if anyone were to touch anything, I'd beat their ass (in a safe, sane, consensual way!  right?....right....).

But what if you're not going to this dungeon party to play?  What if you'd prefer to just parade around looking hot and people watch?


Fair enough.

Some people that I know actually have a leather arm or wrist band (stylish, fetishistic, on-point) with a small pocket built into it (brilliant, practical) in which they can place their money, ID, and a small key or two.  The keys typically are copies of their car key and/or house key, meaning that they left their usual day-to-day, 10-lb key wad that they typically carry around at home instead of bringing it all with them to the dungeon.  Or they leave their key wad in the car and only bring in their extra car key.  But if you're concerned about leaving your keys in your car (which is certainly something that not everyone is comfortable doing), then you'd have to bring copies of your car and house keys only during your night in dungeonland.  Which isn't a bad option and it's something to think about.

If your play-partner is the one bringing the big bag/suitcase of whips, then you can obviously put your essentials in some designated compartment within that bag along with theirs.  Problem solved.

Some people put their key/ID/$ somewhere safe in their boot (another good reason to wear boots to fetish night) while others have a leg, ankle, wrist, or arm garter with a very small and stylized pouch attached to it that holds their essentials.

No, I've never seen anyone wearing a fanny pack in a dungeon.  But if you want to be the first, go right ahead!  I won't judge you.

Yes, this kind of thing takes some thinking-in-advance preparation, and it's a dorky subject, but oh well.  If pre-thinking/prepping isn't your cup of tea then BDSM probably isn't for you anyway because so much of it requires different levels of planning, not all of it sexy or fun to think about....such as this.  But it's all worth it since it allows you to enjoy your night more and frees you up from thinking about the small stuff while you're in bondage.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

The Gears Are Spinning


Yes, indeed, I'm working on the shot list, scene concepts, etc. for my upcoming Spring 2015 Gallery.

If anything, we'll pick up where we left off from the most recent ones that we did, the Holiday 2014 Gallery.
 
I like how that one pushed good (but unconventional) BDSM imagery without being boring, predictable, or sarcastic.  We'll continue with a darker, harder-edged aesthetic that mixes classic S&M with striking backdrops and locations (I think that that's a good direction to continue with; I want more varied locations for the photos rather than just my dungeon all the time).  I'm never coy about influences (why bother? since we all have them) so this is what I'm thinking of:

some black and white, some color, cityscapes, Metropolis, dark, gritty, edgy, hidden staircases/rooms/doors, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, CBGB-era punk with art deco but contemporary, stone, metal, film noir, industrial, Eastern Bloc, subtle gothic, and so on--I think that you get what I'm aiming for.

No, no top hats or steam punk--no, that's not what I have in mind--just the tone of Jekyll and Hyde, those kinds of vibes, themes.  Harshness, sophistication, restraint, shadows, dualities, movement, different locations, different levels, travel from one world (or state of mind) to another; that's what I mean.

So, yeah, that's where my head is at at this moment for the next set of photos.

The overall theme that I'm going for on this upcoming one is "Stranger In A Strange Land".  It will be very cool.

I know that this Gallery will have male and female submissives in there with me, which will be different, rather than just one submissive or two submissives of the same gender.  I probably won't shoot them together or on the same day (BDSM photo shoots can be kind of intense sometimes, as you can probably imagine) but it will be about Dominating both men and women.  Needless to say, it's all done in a fantasy context so don't get your undies in a twist.

Fetishwear?  Yes.  But no crazy costumes for this upcoming one.  We can do crazy costumes/high-concepts later but I need a break from that for right now.

The Spring 2015 Gallery is coming up in May.

Friday, March 6, 2015

Men In Black


NYC will be having its annual Black Party Expo coming up very soon (March 21st).  Although Black Party Expo isn't a fetish event, per se, Black Parties typically have a leather/kink flavor to them.  I'm guessing this one will continue in that appealing tradition.

Click HERE to visit their website for tickets, times, events, specifics.

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Short Spank: What's Your Angle?


Sometimes a bondage arrangement isn't quite.....working the way that you had imagined.

And, sometimes, you're whacking someone and it's simply not having the desired impact that you're aiming for.

Change your position.  Change the angle that you're on at the moment and rethink it.

Continue your flogging from another area on the floor--that small revision could possibly make an entire world of difference.

As for the bondage, reconfigure the slave.  If you need to start over, then start over.  If you need to use different rope, go get that longer piece of rope or that rope made of a different material that would work better for that particular situation.  Try again.

That doesn't make you less Dom; it just means that you're revising your scene tactic.  Which is what you have to do sometimes no matter how much experience you've got.

In BDSM (and many other things....) changing the angle that you're working from switches everything up.

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Meanwhile, Out West....


While it's absolutely snowy and cold here in Chicago and so many other places, it's best to remember that 2015 will have all kinds of national and international fetish events coming up before you know it.  I realize that many of you travel to the big ones (IML in Chicago, Folsom in SF, etc.) inside of the US (and outside too) and, because those big leather fests have been so successful, there are others that seem to be popping up more and more which is great.  From what I can tell it seems that, these days, most states (or regions) have at least one big fetish festival per year along with additional, smaller events.

Aside from the big annual Thunder in the Mountains leather weekend (in June) that attracts plenty of kinksters west (and east) of the Mississippi, the Centennial State also hosts the Colorado Leather Fest at the end of March.

Visit their website right HERE to check things out and to register.

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Yes, Master (entry 115): Dungeon/Stage/Floor/Laboratory



Launched in 2009 as a regular column for Washington D.C.'s The New Gay website, "Yes, Master" is a series of essays, Q&A's, and rants by Chicago pro Dom, Master Aiden.  The new entries of "Yes, Master" continue here on MasterAiden.blogspot.com.  Feel free to write in, ask questions, etc.:  Master-Aiden@hotmail.com
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Make no doubt about it:  Domming is a performance of sorts and so is taking on the role of the slave.  Just as I'm not 100% tyrant, you're not 100% submissive.

BDSM is very much a dance between staying true to who you constantly are as an individual (no matter what, that genuine component must stay intact to some degree or your role won't survive for any significant period of time) alongside amplifying the characteristics inside of yourself that you would like to present within the scene taking place, whether you're the one wielding the whip or the one suffering its lashes.

You have to choose what aspects of yourself to focus in on.  No, you can never deny that that's "not who you are" when you're laced into a gimp mask because, well, that is who you are.....at that moment.  You're the one who choses (even if it's your Master or Mistress's commandment) to accept wearing that hood.

That gimp?  That's you (more or less).

The guy giving orders and tying people up?  Yes, that's him.  More or less.

When going through an S&M scenario, it absolutely is real while being a living, breathing fantasy playing itself out in real time.

Bondage and roleplay don't have to be technical and complicated.  All it is is choosing a role and owning it while the proverbial dance takes place.  Are you taking the lead or are you following?  Which role have you agreed on?  The dungeon is a place for restraint and punishment just as it's something of a stage and a metaphorical dance floor.  You want to try something out, something new?  Do experiments, make suggestions.  The dungeon can be your laboratory.  What will you discover about yourself?

If you've decided to take on the role of the slave for some temporary amount of time, own it with full gusto.  Don't hold back.  Be submissive.  You wanted to be the slave?  Fine.  Then be the fucking slave.  And if you're not dedicating yourself to that role during the time in which the scene is playing itself out, then whose fault is that?  No one, no matter how forceful, can shove you into the submissive headspace. You're responsible for buckling yourself into that personae, for latching onto those specific particles inside of you that identify as slave, submissive.  Can you do it?  Yes, of course you can.  If you chose to do that, if you chose to be that.  Amplify that part of yourself when you're in the dungeon with your Master or Mistress.

In BDSM, no one can afford to be 100% the cruel Tormentor.  Although we're fully comfortable accepting our role in the play, any Master or Mistress worth their leather boots knows that a large portion of their responsibility is to make sure that their submissives are physically safe and psychoemotionally in the proper headspace while the scenes are playing out.

Does that mean that we have to show it?  No.  Does that mean that we can't hurt you or be cruel to you?  No.

But that care is there.  It has to be.  It may be way in the back of their minds, like a red blinking light far in the distance, but, yes, we can still see it.  We're watching out for you, even if we're not sharing those thoughts with you.  This is why I'm completely supportive of longtime Masters and Mistresses:  We know how to inflict you with torment (that you've chosen for yourself, let's face it) while simultaneously keeping things under control and safe.  Two objectives sliding along together, side-by-side, even when some thoughts are hidden, even when it seems that we're thoroughly mean.

While we can take full responsibility for the roles that we've appointed for ourselves to improvise in the dungeon/on the stage, it's possible that your experiences in BDSM can having lasting impact.  Many submissives find themselves to be (beneficially) less control-freak than they used to be.  They feel that playing the role of the slave has been therapeutic in that sense, in exploring their fantasies (accepting who they are and what they enjoy), and/or in allowing themselves to be more human and less shy.  I used to be kind of shy and, in some ways, too nice (yes, there is such a thing; it's very real and it can create its own special kinds of problems) but taking on the role of Dungeon Master within the BDSM community has certainly affected how I approach and view society and work (and how I go about things).  Stepping into other roles--even if those roles aren't completely separate from who we are to begin with--can reshape our perspectives.  Dungeons can be the perfect places to make discoveries and conduct experiments.

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Red All Over


Have a very Happy Valentine's Day!

xo

Master Aiden

Thursday, February 5, 2015

Short Spank: Multiples


Learning the right techniques, approaches, and fetishes of one slave is an endeavor but what do you do when you have a bunch of slaves?

I used to take notes.  Yeah, seriously.

Pen, paper, chart, graph to keep track of who was into what and who wasn't into the rest of it.  That way I could look over my notes before I sessioned with them so that I knew to avoid flogging them (if, for example, flogging just didn't float their boat; you get the idea).  And it was according to their nickname or slave name.  "Dan, The Timid", "Fearless Steve", "Sock Slave", "Spanky Wesley", and so on, etc.

Nowadays I don't really do notes because I'm not nervous like I used to be when I first started out Domming (that was a while ago....) and, for whatever reason, I've gained a knack for being able to guess how to navigate a BDSM excursion based on the individual's demeanor, temperament, personality, and even the way they look (yes, sometimes you can judge a book by its cover).  But there's always room for surprises.

Typically I can guess what kind of a submissive you are after being in the same room with you for 5 minutes but, every once in while, slaves will be able to handle more abuse than I would anticipate.  But sometimes less too.  It all depends on the slave.

Even when there's those outliers, I've gotten pretty good at remembering everyone's likes and dislikes.  But nicknames always help.

Friday, January 30, 2015

Yes, Master (entry 114): Q&A's, Winter 2015


Launched in 2009 as a regular column for Washington D.C.'s The New Gay website, "Yes, Master" is a series of essays, Q&A's, and rants by Chicago pro Dom, Master Aiden.  The new entries of "Yes, Master" continue here on MasterAiden.blogspot.com.  Feel free to write in, ask questions, etc.:  Master-Aiden@hotmail.com
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I like to do Q&A postings here, from time to time, since I get a lot of interesting questions (as you can probably imagine).  Some of the questions that are sent my way are strictly practical, some of them unexpected, and other ones can be pretty raunchy.  For this blog, I usually answer the ones that touch on a particular topic, create discussion, and/or could be beneficial to current or future clients.  Also, plenty of 20-something, 30-something kinksters read this blog too (they're not typically clients; they're just readers which is fine and understandable) so I also try to tackle BDSM topics that maybe other people don't talk about (or talk about too idealistically....) when it comes to Q&A's and other "Yes, Master" and Short Spank postings in general.  But there's room for the everyday concerns too.  Like parking.

Q:  (probably the most common question I get and I get it a lot but, hey, that's okay because it's a good question.  This is Chicago after all.)  How is the parking situation over by your dungeon?  I would like to schedule a session but I want to know if I should leave extra early to find parking if necessary.

A:  Luckily, I live in one of the more mellow areas of Chicago.  Parking is never a headache--it's usually pretty easy, actually--so, no, you don't have to factor in extra time to find parking like you would if my dungeon was in one of the more hectic sections of the city.  I love the fact that I can go out to a dungeon party late at night, come home by 2 in the morning, and then not have to spend another 20 minutes looking for parking before I go to bed.  It's a plus.

Q:  How do you humiliate your slaves, Master Aiden?  I would like to explore humiliation but I'm worried that it would be more than I would be able to take.

A:  I'm fully aware that there are times when some of you, as submissives, find that your fantasies are leading you into real-life situations that you may feel are overwhelming.  Overwhelming scenarios, overwhelming environments.  One of those "Be Careful What You Wish For" kinds of things, right?  I don't like seeing people get genuinely hurt, scared, or freaked-out.  I've seen that more than enough times, I don't find it amusing, and it doesn't make me feel powerful.  It just makes me concerned for the submissive.  I can excel at playing the sadist but I don't like truly mean-spirited people.  When it comes to your humiliation, I will lead you towards that by creating scenarios where you feel vulnerable.  If you're someone who seeks out humiliation, yes, I will playfully "humiliate" you in ways in which--let's face it--you'll enjoy.  If you're new to me, I am cautious.  I will take things slow and probably be pretty easy on you because, no, I don't want to see an unprepared new submissive have a panic attack or get upset (I've been there, seen it a couple of times, and I don't want to ever see that again).

However.......

If you're a seasoned champ at BDSM, you can handle a lot, you know that you can handle a lot, and you're comfortable sessioning with me (perhaps you've sessioned with me before), then that's a different kind of ball game.  Then I know that I can be cruel to you (because I know that you know that we're just playacting) and up the ante when it comes to creating vulnerable scenarios for you to endure; perhaps more pain (depending on the submissive and their particular leanings), perhaps more intense humiliation.  It all depends on you.  In the leather world, we hear all the time:  "You have to be able to trust the Dominant, you have to know that you're being taken care of" and that's absolutely true.  It's also true that I, as the Dominant, have to be able to trust you too.  I want to feel that you're being honest with me.

If you say that you're a skier and that you want to zoom down the Black Diamond hill, I want to know that you can actually handle the Black Diamond hill.  If you say that you're ready to go down the Black Diamond hill and then I see you toppling head-over-heels--with your skis and poles flying off of you as you tumble--then I'm going to (of course) think to myself:  "Yikes.  I think that we need to stick to the bunny hills and moderate hills for the time being....".  Why?  Because I have to keep you safe.  I'm the Dominant, I'm a damn good one, and it's my job to make those decisions.

If you're someone who says that they can handle a lot of humiliation, for example, you're going to have to show me that you're down for it.  I'm going to have to see some evidence.  I'm going to have to see you ace more restrained "humiliation" scenes before I put you into situations that could be perceived as deeply humiliating.  Show me how much of a slave you are.  If, when the situation arises, I can tell that you're being timid or that your "eyes are bigger than your stomach", then I know that I have to take things slower and dial things down a bit.....until you find that you're used to being a humiliated slave, that you love it, that you can take it, and then--and only then--do you know that you're in for some serious, nasty punishment (the kind that you dream about.....so is it really punishment or is it just a twisted form of wish fulfillment?  Eh, we'll save that little philosophical question for some other day.....).

Q:  Would you be willing to take on an older slave, Sir?

A:  Yes, of course.  Just let me know beforehand if you have physical limitations, concerns, etc. that I should be aware of.

Q:  What's the weirdest scene that you've ever done?

A:  When you ask this question, I have to secretly admit that there are one or two scenes that pop into my head.....but I don't want to judge.  What's "weird" for one person is another person's life-long fetish.  Granted there are scenes and fetishes that are (statistically speaking, just through basic numbers) more "unusual", I don't think that that makes you "weird" or silly.  We're all weird and silly in our own ways.  Just play safe and have fun.  That's all that matters.

Q:  I live out-of-town.  I have a Chicago trip coming up but I would like to session with you, Master Aiden.  When would be best to reach you?

A:  The further in advance you schedule with me, the more likely you are to get the exact time, date, and location that you're aiming for.  When you know your schedule for your upcoming trip (arrival date, departure date, etc.), contact me so that we can get a session on your planner.  Scheduling is everything.

Q:  Are you ever planning on coming to London, Sir?

A:  I would love to come to London....and NYC and Berlin....but I am a very hard-working guy with a vicious schedule (Domming isn't my only job) so I only leave Chicago a few times a year.  Right now I'm working on some complicated projects (they're creative but non-BDSM) that require a lot of time, energy, money, and attention from me (more than I had anticipated).  I don't do tours.  My slaves come to me.

Q:  Hi, Master Aiden.  I'm guessing that you're sick of this question but will you go see "Fifty Shades" when it comes out at the movie theater?  Did you read the book?

A:  I did read the book (curiosity always gets the best of me) and I do intend on going to see the movie as well.  I think that the entire "Fifty Shades" phenomenon is fun, harmless, and helps people tap into their fantasies.  If anything, maybe it will give me more ideas.  The director and actors are all good so I'm pretty sure that I'll enjoy it quite a bit.

Q:  What kind of a session is your favorite kind of a session?

A:  That changes according to the session and the client.  But whenever I get to use some of my belts and floggers on willing slaves, that means it's a good day.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

This Is Not Just Some Ordinary Weekend....


....it's Mr. Chicago Leather weekend.

The Mr. Chicago Leather website with scheduling, locations, and event details is right HERE.

It's a nice precursor to the annual International Mr. Leather weekend that always happens here in Chicago at the end of May (and it decides which man will be competing to represent Chicago during IML).  Mr. Chicago Leather will be taking place over the next few days in the Rogers Park district of the city, centering around Touche leather bar and the Leather Archives and Museum (perfect) which means that you won't have to dash around all over the place since the main events happen within blocks from each other.

Is there a better way for a kinkster to break up the winter than spending a weekend immersed in fetish fun and festivities?  No.

This is why Chicago rocks.