Thursday, August 27, 2015

Yes, Master (entry 129): Neoprene (.....and fur, vinyl, and denim)

Launched in 2009 as a regular column for Washington D.C.'s The New Gay website, "Yes, Master" is a series of essays, Q&A's, and rants by Chicago pro Dom, Master Aiden.  The new entries of "Yes, Master" continue here on  Feel free to write in, ask questions, etc.:


Surf's Up!

One of the newest additions to the fetish materials pantheon is neoprene, the semi-thick, spongy, rubber-like synthetic typically used to create surf suits and other aquatic gear.  I think that part of the appeal of neoprene gear is who we typically picture, or imagine, wearing this type of gear:  aqua sports guys, surfers, etc.  Hot guys.  Really hot guys, actually.  Tan, soaked, healthy specimens glistening in the sun, having a good time, cutting through the waves.  Enticing to the point where--just looking at a neoprene suit unworn, hanging up on a hanger at some sports store or whatever--you immediately know what kind of person belongs inside of it.  It's no wonder why people would be attracted to a man or woman in a surf suit.

There's something immediate about neoprene because it's associated with a small, very specific type of activity and a very specific type of person.  There's nothing coy or mysterious about it.  Unlike leather and spandex--which are associated with different kinds of people for a variety of purposes--neoprene always equals beaches, oceans, lakes, physical activity, and guys (and gals) with an athletic temperament.

Neoprene closes off the outside environment from the flesh that it protects within; it locks in heat and absorbs sweat and other bodily fluids.  Some neoprene people enjoy water sports along with more conventional aquatic activities.  Not all, just some.

The aesthetic appeal of neoprene is not to be brushed aside.  A tight, clinging, shining (possibly wet, typically black) neoprene bodysuit looks amazing on conventionally attractive shapes but this material can also be relatively forgiving towards those who don't have time, or choose not, to visit the gym every day.  Neoprene is, without a doubt, a good-looking material.

The feel of neoprene, to me, is a bit different.  There's something kind of alien going on there.  Everything about neoprene feels foreign, unnatural (even though its texture mimics the skin of some sea creatures), industrially-created.  For all the beachy, sun-kissed associations that are attached to surf suits, there is a seriousness to neoprene when you feel it up close.  There's something intimidating about the thick, clinging quality of the material and the obvious, precise care with which it's constructed.  Neoprene gear always seems fresh out of the factory for some reason.  State-of-the-art wear for a primal environment.  Better (aquatic) living through science.

It will be interesting to see if neoprene rises in profile, as the years go on, within the fetish community.  Will it become as popular as rubber and latex gear has?  Or will it continue to be something of a niche within a niche, a cult material weaving through all the leather, rubber, and spandex that we see at BDSM events?  Whatever the case will be, there's certainly nothing wrong with seeing more of these oceanic surfer babes swimming through the kink world.


What would Leopold von Sacher-Masoch (the ultimate masochist) think of modern-day furries?

Would he have his Venus abusing him while she was dressed as a tigress or, perhaps, a bossy female fox mascot?


Do you fear the Big Bad Wolf?

Or do you leave the window open at night, hoping that he'll snatch you up while you're sleeping?

Furs have been around for a long time (as you can probably guess) and it's not uncommon for these tactilly soothing pelts to create fetishes for some individuals.  Needless to say, real fur (coats, boots, gloves, etc.) automatically brings the outside world inside and can lend its wearers creature qualities.  Shamans would agree with me on this.  It's not just the repeating shapes and colors of a leopard print article of clothing that's meant to attract people.  A person wearing fur--or something that mimics fur, or the designs within a kind of fur--is trying to tell you something:  "There is a wildness to me", "I have animalistic tendencies", "I am a predator", etc.  The sensual component of fur can't be, and isn't meant to be, ignored.

And, no, it doesn't necessarily mean that a person is into bestiality or is a zoophile if they have a fetish for fur.  So calm down.  Fido is probably safe.  It just means that certain people want to be welcomed to the jungle--via the clothing of their play partner and, possibly, through what they're wearing themselves--when they step into the bedroom or the dungeon.

Aside from the obvious primal associations with fur (vicious beasts, Daniel Boone, peasants of the forest, wild and wooly outdoorsmen in the arctic, explorers in harsh environments, soldiers in rough terrain, and so on), fur can also mean luxury and wealth as in the coats that well-off women wear to the opera, movie stars in limousines, etc.  Fur, for some people, can conjure flashes of diamonds and whiffs of expensive perfumes.  For them, there's a comfort and exclusivity around fur.

As for the furries--those who wear faux fur bodysuits--there's an aspect of animal-human hybrid to their playful, imaginative scenes.  A lot of people get annoyed by the fur suit-clad mascots at basketball games but it's entirely possible that the person sitting next to them really enjoys that part of the evening....


Shiny, water-proof, plastic-fantastic vinyl clothing holds a lot of appeal for some fetishists.  Unless it's a raincoat (and even when it is for certain individuals), it's almost impossible not to associate this type of material with kink and decadence.  Sexy and reflective (and, as some people would say, cheap and tacky-looking as fuck but isn't that the point?), vinyl wear is synonymous with raves, dance clubs, Space Age campiness, strippers, and rock musicians.  Nothing natural about it.

Vinyl clothing doesn't have a deep history like fur and leather wear.  This kind of look rose to prominence in the 1960's, 70's, and beyond; laboratory-created kinky clothing for outdoors or indoors, depending on who you are.

PVC gear (plastic polyvinyl chloride--clearly you can't go into the mountains and hunt something down to get this skin) is as artificial as it gets and I think that's why certain kinksters are aroused by it.  Vinyl clothing is never not-kinky.  It seems to have only one kind of transgressive meaning.


Denim and leather go hand-in-hand.  Not only do they look great together, they also hold multiple meanings and can be worn for multiple purposes.  I know that there are a lot of people (of all orientations) who are turned on by jeans and the the attractive body forms that they contain.

Are jeans--which we see all day, every day--truly a fetish material?

You bet.  They can be.  And there's many of you out there who absolutely hold denim as one of your favorite obsessions.  You lucky bastards.

Jeans can be baggy, tailored, form-fitting, or second-skin.  They can be casual and intentionally dull or they can easily be used as a kind of fetishwear.  A higher number of girls than guys seem to grasp this but there are more and more men who are getting clued in when it comes to their blue (or black) jeans and how to wear them for whatever purpose.

Are you just trying to look presentable in your nice jeans?  Or do you want people to look at your bulge, legs, and ass?  I guess that that's up to you.  But don't pretend that I, and others within the fetish world, don't know what you're doing.  We're aware of the fit of the jeans that you've chosen.  Coyness might work on some people but it doesn't work on us, son.

Blue jeans (like leather) are for good boys, bad boys, workers, preppies, and rebels.  The fit of your jeans--and what you wear along with them--sends out the message of who you are along that spectrum and what kind of reaction you've intending to provoke.

Friday, August 21, 2015

Yes, Master (entry 128): Spandex, Lycra

Launched in 2009 as a regular column for Washington D.C.'s The New Gay website, "Yes, Master" is a series of essays, Q&A's, and rants by Chicago pro Dom, Master Aiden.  The new entries of "Yes, Master" continue here on  Feel free to write in, ask questions, etc.:

Spandex is underrated.  Underappreciated.

Lycra and Spandex are around more than anyone realizes.  They're secret agents; interwoven through much of what people wear out on the street and in the open every day.  A subtle, magic ingredient providing stretch, flexibility, and under-the-radar, attractive shine and shaping to all sorts of non-fetish (or what we conventionally think of as non-fetish....) clothing.

Something about spandex reminds me of "The Emperor's New Clothes" because everyone notices it--the clothing, the lack of clothing--it turns on much of the population, it's everywhere, but very few of us say anything about it.  Huge, major companies and entertainment entities feature spandex and lycra as main components but we smirk about it rather than speak up.  It seems that we have an unspoken, open secret don't we?  There's an "I won't say anything if you don't say anything" erotic element to all this body-clinging material that surrounds us nowadays but I'm calling us out on it.  Spandex fetishization is much more widespread than people realize.  Perhaps it goes without saying and we take it for granted.

Not necessarily show-stopping or always aesthetically stunning, spandex and lycra point the attention towards the star of the show:  you, the wearer.  But these materials--created for the youthful, the active--are not always forgiving or kind.  Spandex can amplify your faults and shortcomings, even in small doses.  Spandex is not for everyone.  Having a rough week?  Not looking your best?  Skip the lycra fetishwear then.

And yet lycra and spandex can be loud and beautiful too when done correctly.  Spider-Man is an example of a fetish figure, a shining triumph of obvious spandex glorification almost to the point of turning into aesthetic male body worship.  The poses, the crouching....

Batman probably sheds that clunky, thick batsuit when no one is looking.  I think that he must be wearing a lycra bodysuit--tights, basically--underneath the batsuit, he ditches the batsuit in his batmobile, and then covers his spandex gear with his cape if he's having a shy night.  Would he be able to leap and tumble over the rooftops of Gotham in that heavy batsuit (perfect for photo ops but not much else)?  Not a chance.  The cartoons and comic books get it right--even the old, corny TV show had sharper insight in this regard.  The movies get it wrong.  Batman, in order to do what he needs to do, needs spandex.  Spider-Man, Superman, and Deadpool know what's up.

Doms, at their best, are workers; Masters and Mistresses, absolutely, but we're BDSM worker bees and many of our sessions require a lot from us.  Spandex--created for moving, active bodies--is ideal gear for long, drawn-out dungeon adventures.

Spandex and lycra are kinky, legit fetishwear, without a doubt--perfect for challenging circumstances--because they stay out of the way, they breathe, and they're non-distracting materials.  Slyly protective layers, very thin second skins, that come dangerously, provocatively close to nudity.  They're one very short step away from nakedness.

These materials get the job done and can withstand a lot (more than what people may assume).  They're comfortable, highly functional, extremely practical, affordable, permeable, durable, and can be easily cleaned.  Spandex allows you to move without exception.  It's as invisible as it can be.  Acrobats, athletes, and performers have been wearing spandex for a very long time and wisely continue to do so.  They know it's the best option for their objectives.  A covering that serves a purpose but is barely there.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Yes, Master (entry 127): Rubber, Latex

Launched in 2009 as a regular column for Washington D.C.'s The New Gay website, "Yes, Master" is a series of essays, Q&A's, and rants by Chicago pro Dom, Master Aiden.  The new entries of "Yes, Master" continue here on  Feel free to write in, ask questions, etc.:

Rubber clothing is from The Future.  That's what it looks like to me, at least.

What do people wear during the Apocalypse, during the dystopia, at the End Of The World (and afterward), in outer space, under the oceans, on other planets?

Rubber and latex fetish clothing, of course.

Rubber is not, in fact, the exact same thing as latex.  Rubber is produced via a different process than latex--both are created by collecting sap from the Para rubber tree--but either one builds stunning fetish clothing and they serve a similar function.  Latex tends to be the thinner material of the two.

Rubber and latex clothing are two-faced:

Durable and extremely fragile.

Protective yet hardly.

Rubber and latex fetishwear show off "the goods" but that water-proof second skin binding you is impermeable.  Nothing gets in, nothing gets out.  There is an innately secretive and cruel aspect to rubber fetishization:  a window that lets you to peer inside but you're not allowed to break the glass.  Run your hands wherever you like but you can't ever get through.

"Gummi" gear is a wearable mirage, showing you all kinds of attractive curves and areas--you want to reach out and touch but you never can get there, not quite.  Rubber and latex tease you and torture you.  So close and so far away.....until you unzip the zipper.

Rubber men and latex women--encased in the stretchy stuff to a minimum or a maximum-- can turn into robots, athletes, heroes, villains, animals, abstractions, and aliens.  But like kryptonite to Superman, splashing oil on them defeats them, corroding their artificial skin.

Like many space-age materials from the future, rubber and latex don't bother to hold memories.  Once you leave them, they should snap right back into their appointed shapes as though you were never there to begin with.  Rinse them off and it's like they never got "dirty" in any way.  Were you ever in them at all?  Rubber and latex don't have any record of it.  They can live without you and they will outlive you.  Unlike you, they have no need for oxygen.

These shining, shimmering, slithering surfaces are meant to be worshipped, caressed, admired.  Play lightly, tread softly.  Rubber is not for brutes.  This is a high-class kink event.  Use caution.  Take care.

If you're reckless, rubber and latex are not for you.  Too much impact or tugging or puncture?  Then your rubber gear is ruined.  Money wasted.  "This is why we can't have nice things!"  No idiots allowed.

Rubber people covered from head to foot--the people of the future--are meant to strut around and glide (maybe the only people left after the world ends are Dominant aristocrats in latex and submissive aristocrats in rubber.....).

All the wearable gear that can be made from rubber and latex--all the amazing designs that can be created for men and women--defy limit.  These two fetish materials--these smooth, sci-fi siblings--create the clothing of dreams and sexual fantasies yet to be.

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Yes, Master (entry 126): Leather

Launched in 2009 as a regular column for Washington D.C.'s The New Gay website, "Yes, Master" is a series of essays, Q&A's, and rants by Chicago pro Dom, Master Aiden.  The new entries of "Yes, Master" continue here on  Feel free to write in, ask questions, etc.:

In the beginning, there was Leather.

Adam and Eve, vulnerable in their nakedness, knew that fig leaves were a joke so they did what they had to do and the animal population outside of Eden dropped a little bit.  Man and Woman got themselves some leather gear.

The first thing that people wore was, most likely, leather.

(Actually it was skins, pelts, and furs....and then, through some primitive treatment later on that afternoon--after everyone finished up their hunting and gathering chores--leather)

There is nothing more ancient and practical, when it comes to protecting the human body, than leather.

And people have been wearing it ever since.  Once they realized that it was working for them, they never stopped wearing it.  At no point in human history did leather go out of use or out of fashion completely.  From street clothes to uniforms, people have been wearing leather--more or less--forever.

Aside from cloth, no article of clothing resonates more in cultural consciousness than leather.  There is nothing else on earth that smells like leather aside from itself.  Leather is a touchstone of existence and civilization on all corners of the globe.  We recognize the feel, texture, and scent of leather immediately when we encounter it even if, when we are little, we don't quite know exactly where it comes from.....

I suspect that leather fetishization has been around for a very, very long time.  Leather is constantly associated with purpose, activity, and protection; a material used for movement, durability, and strength.

Leather is meant to last for as long as possible, to hold against pressure.  Creating bondage using it has been going on for centuries.

What's easier to make, to acquire, in the wild:  rope, chain, or strips of leather?

You can figure it out.

Is leather bondage fetishization--the appeal of it, the fantasy of it--truly just some extremely old human memory response towards the fear of, or drive towards, human-vs.-human conquering?  People have been binding up other people--or themselves--in leather gear for a while now.  For many purposes.

Warriors wore leather.  So did slaves.  Workmen and travelers--everyone on the go with some job to do--all wore leather.

Leather is a signature of authority figures and rebels.  It shields us and shapes well to the human body.

How could leather not be a wide-spread fetish?  It has been with us constantly as a valuable material signaling strength, warmth, comfort, cover, and purpose.  Even people who aren't leather fetishists immediately associate leather with sensual appeal and luxury.

Is there anything more natural, and understandable, than a leather fetish?

Monday, August 3, 2015

Bondage and Pain: a perfect way to spend a Friday night

C.A.G.E. (Chicago Area Gear Enthusiasts) will be hosting a Bondage/Pain night on Friday, 08-14-15 at The Cell Block bar in Chicago at 10pm.

The Cell Block page is HERE

Fetish gear encouraged (leather, rubber, etc.)

Free to get in, 21 and over only (obviously)

Friday, July 31, 2015

Coming Up In August

This upcoming month I'm doing four "Yes, Master" articles--one each week--about the different fetish materials--why they appeal to people and what they're about, since gear (what the gear is like, what it's made of, what it means....) is such a big part of the kink world.

The first week will be Leather, the second week will be Rubber/Latex, the third week will be about Spandex/Lycra, and the fourth week discusses Neoprene and some others.

Thanks to those of you, so far, who've emailed me or told me what your favorite kind of fetish gear is and why (you've given me some good insights).  To those of you out there who are still thinking about writing in and telling me about your favorite type of fetish material (When did you start to be interested in it?  What is it about this type of gear that appeals to you over the others?), go ahead and email me before August 5th.  It doesn't have to be detailed or long; whatever pops into your head.  Speak now or forever hold your peace (or "piece" rather....haha).

As always, you can email me at:

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Yes, Master (entry 125): Game Boards

Launched in 2009 as a regular column for Washington D.C.'s The New Gay website, "Yes, Master" is a series of essays, Q&A's, and rants by Chicago pro Dom, Master Aiden.  The new entries of "Yes, Master" continue here on  Feel free to write in, ask questions, etc.:

I started off writing this newest entry of "Yes, Master" on an entirely different subject but then I stopped and deleted all of it because I thought to myself:   "This is true for me but it's not true for other kinksters.  If anything, it's the opposite for a lot of people".

The subject that I had originally intended to write about was the need to differentiate how a Master or Mistress acts towards a submissive within a dungeon setting vs. how that Master or Mistress treats the submissive outside of a dungeon setting and vice versa (how the submissive acts towards their Master or Mistress within a dungeon setting vs.....).

The point was to deliver some straight talk about what works in real life BDSM--the kind that actually involves people being physically within the same room as each other.

Not fan fiction......not email or texting relationships......not dead end fap-messaging with randos (that have no intention of ever meeting you) off of Tindr, Grindr, Fetlife, Collarspace, Recon, etc., etc., etc.

No, no.  None of that.

I mean real BDSM.  The kind that involves real leather restraints, real floggers, real dungeon spaces.  The kind that involves real people physically interacting.  I'm only interested in that kind of BDSM.

And then I realized:  For a lot of people out there, the Dominant/submissive dynamic is fully realized by whatever interaction they're having with someone online.  To them that's psychologically and emotionally fulfilling and, probably, physically fulfilling too (especially if there are specific orders and commandments involved).  Cyberplay, basically.  And cyberplay does the trick for a lot of people.  They'd rather do cyberplay with each other--whether they're communicating via long distance or they live only a few blocks away from each other--than ever actually meeting up.  So realizing that blew my entire article premise directly to hell.

I can't offer advice towards something if it ends up defeating the entire purpose or steps outside of context.

And so, for today, the new point of this entry of "Yes, Master" is......

Making your own rules while successfully communicating those rules for that game towards whoever it is (one person or multiple people) that you're playing with.

As you know, I'm a Dom.  I work as a professional BDSM Master in Chicago and I write this blog which is useful for advertising purposes for my business and it's a great way of discussing and exchanging ideas/concepts with an international audience about fetish subject matter.  On this blog, I like to give my point of view about various things because I've left very few stones unturned at this point in my kink adventures and I thought that I'd share my experiences with you.  I figure that you may find whatever thoughts and conclusions that I've ended up with--due to those experiences--helpful towards whatever kink experiences that you yourself are working on at the moment or plan on doing at some future time.

[shaking you by the shoulders] "Take my experiences and learn from them!!  For your own good!!"

You get what I mean.

I also know this:  A lot of people would, and do, give out polar opposite advice on those very same subjects that I discuss here.  Which is fine.

Everybody sees things differently and we all do things differently.  Even though we're considered a BDSM "community" boy oh boy do we sure have some opposing viewpoints.

And that's to be expected considering how thought-policing isn't typically something that we aim for within the fetish world (unless that's part of a scene, of course).

Everyone has certain fetishes, approaches, rules, and "lack of rules" (which is a kind of rule unto itself).

When you're interacting with someone--whether it's physically within the same room or via web, whatever your way of doing things is--make sure that you have the same goals and similar ways of getting there.  For example, if you're more of an internet fapper, don't be a deceptive little shit and tell people that you're actually planning on meeting up with them when you know that that's never going to happen.  If you're happier at home, on your computer or your phone talking about fetish stuff, then make sure that you're engaging someone who is looking for the same thing.  There are many people online who are looking for that and there's certainly nothing wrong with doing things that way.  Just be honest about it.

And for those of you out there who are frustrated because you're trying to find someone to have those face-to-face S&M escapades with, but it seems like the only ones you end up interacting with are flakes or e-fappers, then you need to dig deeper into you intuition and make educated guesses as to who is actually planning on meeting up with you and who isn't.  Typically, it's relatively easy to figure out what people's deals are and what their intentions are.

Hint:  Coyness is never a good sign.

If they seem indecisive or coquettish in any way, that's a clue that they're probably just looking for attention and validation from strangers online.  They want to be told that they're attractive and they want the possibility of a possibility (and that might be about the extent of it).  It's the idea of meeting up with you that does it for them rather than actually being within the same space as you.  They used you as a psychoemotional ATM machine, they withdrew some validation from you, and cha-ching! off they go to get some more validation from other sources, free of charge, no service fees.  Don't take it personally.

If someone is being weird about sealing the deal as to when and where to meet up with you, then you may be better off looking elsewhere.  It's possible that they're playing hard to get and that they do, in fact, plan on getting together with you in some way but just be aware that they may end up vanishing or fading out.

I shouldn't criticize.  I know that some people in the fetish community would rather think about certain things than actually do them.  Fair enough.  Everyone's different.

How we treat each other, as Masters and slaves, is truly up to you individual Masters and slaves.  Some want 24/7 dynamic (which is rarely sustainable, just sayin'.....) and some save the Dominance and submission for the dungeon only or for certain times and places specifically.  Some are very cruel while others know when to go subtle.  Some want A, others want Z.  And some want somewhere in the middle.

So be sure to disregard the things that I write on here.  They're only based on my range of personal experiences, my opinions, the bits of advice that I give to myself, and what my personal preferences are.  My words aren't The Final Say in BDSM.  Get out of them what you want to get out of them, take the stuff that works for you or makes sense to you, and toss out the rest.

There are very few actual rules in BDSM.

Of course you should take universal common sense social rules into consideration (always....) but the fact of the matter is:  the more you're engaged in BDSM, the more you'll create your own guidelines, the more you'll figure out what works for you and what doesn't.  Those are the only "rules" that actually matter and, hopefully, your rules will mesh well with those of your Master, Mistress, submissive, or play partner.  Tell them what you want, ask what they want, and then figure out a way to match those objectives to the best of your abilities.  No one is going to see eye-to-eye 100% with anyone.  Don't run yourself down trying to chase after unachievable ideals that no one is capable of.  Do the best that you can.  Be direct and be honest with your play partners so that you can find the right people to get kinky with.  Just be sure that you're on the same page in general, aiming to play the same kind of game with each other.

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

You'll Survive The Heat

So don't complain about it.

Summer in Chicago is always incredible with too many options to choose from, too many street fests to eat up your time and $, too many good times to be had.  And then, before you know it, it will be autumn followed by whatever arctic horrors winter will have in store for us.....

So enjoy the summer.  Yes, I know it's humid but oh well, you'll be fine.

One of the annual events that is definitely worth sweating through is the August tradition of the Northalsted Market Days which are (sort of) Gay Pride pt. II.

The Northalsted Market Days 2015 essential info is right HERE

This year, Market Days take place on Saturday, August 8th and Sunday, August 9th in the heart of Boystown.

Personally, I like Market Days better than Pride because it's more fun, more merchants, and you can move through the crowds a bit easier (but that could change since the Market Days event as a whole seems to get more and more popular).

For you kinksters and leather folk, Market Days also means that the fetish bars and bath houses will feature special events and even more.....opportunities.....than usual.

And, needless to say, all the Boystown hot spots will be jam-packed and Andersonville--just a quick journey up Clark Street--will also have good stuff going on.

Inevitably a great weekend coming up in a couple of weeks in Chicago--one of the year's best (it always is)--so be sure to take advantage of it, play safe, and have fun!

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Yes, Master (entry 124) : One Way To Get There Is To Go On Foot.....

Launched in 2009 as a regular column for Washington D.C.'s The New Gay website, "Yes, Master" is a series of essays, Q&A's, and rants by Chicago pro Dom, Master Aiden.  The new entries of "Yes, Master" continue here on  Feel free to write in, ask questions, etc.:

There's booty paddling and nipple torture and CBT and flogging the back and so on.....

But I'm sure that you already know all this so let's shift gears for a second.

A few of my slaves love "foot torture".  If you want to get super-serious about it, you can call it bastinado (make sure that you say it out loud in a commanding voice), but that term is probably more appropriate for describing the awful, gory version of foot torture used in the Oldyn Dayes rather than the tantalizing and playful version of foot torture that I'm pointing at here.

Is our version of foot torture really torture?  No, not really.  It doesn't actually come down to that.  I can go harsh, of course--applying heavy stinging or thudding impact, depending on the force used and device chosen--but that doesn't mean that I have to go harsh.....or that you have to, dear readers, if you want to try this at home with your own submissive(s).  A little bit can go along way.  Start off by going easy.

You can spank and whip (as well as other sensations--namely electro, Wartenberg wheel, etc.) the bottoms of the feet which some people find very stimulating.  Don't hit the toes or the bony parts of the feet hard (obviously, because that would be fucking stupid).  The spot for impact (moderate impact at most, nothing overly heavy-duty like beating an ass; you can't beat someone's foot like you can get away with when beating their ass because we're clearly dealing with less insulating tissue) is the fleshy, soft part of the foot right smack-dab in the middle.

In the illustration above, you'll see an area of the foot that has a band of tissue called the plantar fascia.  That's your target for some foot spanking.  That's the sweet spot.  Sticks, rods, rulers, canes, switches can be used.  I think that riding crops work surprisingly well for our S&M version of bastinado and those are what I'd recommend using.

All kinksters know that feet are a popular worship points on your Master or Mistress BUT feet, also, are underutilized spots on the submissive's body that can be played with, and "tortured", during BDSM scening.  

Thursday, July 9, 2015

"Kingdom" Come

I'm a big Anne Rice fan, no doubt about it, and I have been for a long time.

The vampires books, the witches books, the historical books, etc.  I love her.  I think that she's an incredible creator, she's an original, and her characters are fascinating.

People love questioning and talking shit about cultural icons (because the internet is, according to research, 80% composed of grating misery where everyone hates everything and everyone else all the time no matter how good you are at what you do) but there's no reason to dismiss Anne Rice's influence.  Today's pop culture has her DNA running through plenty of different streams.

Personally, I've always enjoyed her BDSM fantasy series, the "Sleeping Beauty" books.

And I have a sneaking suspicion that quite a few of you readers are aware of these books.  Just a guess....

But in case you're new in town:

Yes, the "Sleeping Beauty" books (which she wrote under the pseudonym A. N. Roquelaure) are about the fairy tale figure Sleeping Beauty (yeah, like the Disney movie....but not quite--) who gets roused from her slumber by a handsome prince.....who whisks her off to an incredible kingdom where pretty much everyone is a serious S&M enthusiast.  Lots of kinky things happen between men and women, women and women, and men and men.  It's an inspired concept and it's thoroughly awesome.  The books--the three founding stories in this short series--were written in the 80's, gained a big cult following in the 90's, and have been popular ever since.

I don't remember when, exactly, I discovered these books but I do remember doing readings of them with my goth/punk alternateen friends when we were in high school.  As one does.

The ideas within BDSM have never, ever scared me (even when, maybe, they should have?....) and reading those books back in the day partially inspired me to explore the bondage world.  I wanted to be a wicked prince, too, and tie people up, order them around, and spank them.  Damn right!  Because being too nice was overrated.  Boys have to explore their capacity for cruelty, at least a little bit, even if it's play-acting.

And now....

There is a new "Sleeping Beauty" book (which I would have never expected).

It's called "Beauty's Kingdom".

I'm not going to give away too many plot points but Sleeping Beauty is all grown up and she and her alpha-male bisexual husband acquire the kinky kingdom.....and lots of bondage, spanking, and political intrigue goes down.

This newest book--the 4th book in the series--has a slightly different flavor than the first three but I like "Kingdom" just as much (maybe more?) than the 80's trilogy.  It's a bit more emotional, mature, inner-character than those first ones.  But that's just my opinion.  I love some good, raunchy writing (obviously) but I also love reading more about the thoughts/sensations/dreams/histories of these characters within their bondage city while it's happening rather than just a whole ton of shackles-and-ass-whipping action pieces.  There's plenty of that too, needless to say--that's what keeps the Bellavalten economy running--but Anne Rice reaches for an entirely new level of understanding between Dominants and submissives when it comes to this installment especially.

Thought-provoking and sharp escapism from a master storyteller who takes chances and does her own thing.

"Beauty's Kingdom" can be ordered/downloaded right HERE on Amazon.

Friday, July 3, 2015


What is it about leather that revs you up?

And what about rubber hoods?  Lycra singlets?  Neoprene bodysuits?

In August, I'm going to do a series of writings focusing on the different skins, or materials, that we use in kinkwear.  Why do some materials turn us on while others don't?  Why do we eroticize them?

What is your favorite kind of fetishwear?

Leather, rubber, spandex, or neoprene?  Or is there a different kind of material that you prefer?  Maybe vinyl or denim?


["I don't know why I like leather; it just turns me on for some reason." won't cut it.  Think, people.  Get analytical.]

Aside from researching around on this topic, I'd be interested in hearing from the readers of this blog (whether clients or just readers) too.  Feel free to write in and tell me about your favorite kind of kinkwear.  Help me out a little bit with these upcoming articles by sharing your own thoughts and opinions.  (I can always use Google Translate if necessary; writing in in English is not necessarily required.)

My email is the same as ever:

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Short Spank: "Snap!" Goes The Towel

What is it with locker rooms?

Without a doubt, one of the most prevalent gay erotic fantasy settings is the old-fashioned Mens Locker Room.  Gyms, universities, bath houses, sports centers, and so on.  A typical scene for some kind of kinky throwdown.

Sweat, all-male bonding, competition, vulnerability, objects, clothing, showers, skin, and secrets.  Sight, touch, voices, laughter, scent.

You do see locker room settings every once in a while (but not too often) in gay S&M films but it's an underutilized background.  If things could ever get wild and crazy between guys, whether it's a group or just two individuals, that could absolutely happen just as easily in a locker room--a likely place--as it could in any dungeon.  Maybe even more likely to happen, come to think of it.

I'm sure fetishistic scenes absolutely do occur in locker rooms sometimes, especially when there are no cameras around.....

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Shiny, Stretchy, and Waterproof

Mr. Midwest Rubber (a contest and event) will be taking place next month at Touche in Chicago.

The weekend of July 17th-19th

Once Mr. Midwest Rubber rolls in closer, be sure to check on the Touche website for times, rules, etc.

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Spring/Summer 2015 Gallery

Stranger In A Strange Land

"No matter where you go, there you are...."

We can never completely run away from our own wishes and secret thoughts.

No matter how far we travel, no matter where we escape.

All the pieces and parts of ourselves, whether or not they seem to contrast with each other, end up fitting together in their own unique, rational pattern.

Even when those parts seem foreign and unfamiliar.

BDSM is all about exploration and travel....within our wishes and our own dark corners, secret paths, twisted roads, and back alleys.

Are you ever afraid that you'll get lost along the way?

Don't worry.  Be brave.

Go to curious places, travel within yourself, embrace your kinks, and realize that all of those different pieces of you are what form the full picture.

With each new set of pictures that we do, we aim to visually interpret aspects of BDSM.  This set is about how, by engaging in Dominance and submission, we sometimes travel into different places and different parts of ourselves.

Very Special Thanks to Slave S. and Slave SW for being the submissives in these photos.  Very Special Thanks to my longtime photo man LBJ, and Slave SW as well, for their skills behind the camera.

Influences for the Sping/Summer 2015 Gallery:  "Jekyll and Hyde", vintage and contemporary expressions of punk, old and new, chaos and order, above and below, travel, exploration, movement, changing perspectives, night, and day