Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Thanksgiving Special

No matter what kind of freaky fetish scene you're into, I hope that you have a great holiday weekend with loved ones, friends, and community.  Get stuffed and have a nice time.


Master Aiden

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

next year.....

So we've got the Holidays 2015 Gallery coming up in a couple of weeks (and those photos will be posted on this blog, of course).

But, for next year, we've got all kinds of things we're cooking up.  2016 will have a good amount of new photo shoots, one for every season.  As a matter of fact, as soon as we finish up the set that will be posted next month, I'll start working on the next photo shoot for Winter 2016 (harsh backdrops, snowy desolation, black fetish clothes--a bit severe, scary--up around Valentine's Day).

Yes, that's right, there will be 4 new sets of photos that we'll be tackling in '16.

I've got most of the image concepts pretty much figured out at this point but my challenge will be to make sure that the props, gear, and clothes (some of which are custom-made for these photo shoots) are done in time.

Monday, November 23, 2015

Yes, Master (entry 135): Every Dungeon is a Sovereign Micronation

Launched in 2009 as a regular column for Washington D.C.'s The New Gay website, "Yes, Master" is a series of essays, Q&A's, and rants by Chicago pro Dom, Master Aiden.  The new entries of "Yes, Master" continue here on  Feel free to write in, ask questions, etc.:

Because the internet sends you to places that you had no idea that you wanted to go until you're there, you stumble across all kinds of interesting things.  I've learned that, across the world in random spots, are places defined as sovereign micronations.

What is a sovereign micronation?

Basically, it's a place where someone decides to declare a new country with its own name, regulations, flag, royal monarch, etc., etc.  The fact that it's inside another country doesn't matter.  The fact that it could not, and never will, be recognized in an official, international way is beside the point.  There are micronations (declared by various eccentric individuals) within the U.S., England, Denmark, and plenty of other locations across the globe.  You may as well declare your own house/apartment/condo as the headquarters of your own sovereign micronation tonight.  Why not?  Be creative, get out some colored pencils, and create your own flag and coat-of-arms.  Declare yourself Grand Duke or whatever you feel suits you best.

You can think of many places, establishments, and group entities in the context of a sovereign micronation and it all kind of makes sense:  businesses, sports fields, bars, households, etc., etc., etc.

Someone's in charge and there are certain, unique rules and expectations.

While I have no interest in establishing my own sovereign micronation within Chicago (we have enough nonsense going on here and we don't really need anymore), reading about people who made their own nations (in thought more than anything else) got me to thinking about how BDSM dungeons are sort of their own sovereign micronations to an extent:

Every dungeon has its own ruler or small group of royals who oversee the policies of that particular dungeon.

Every dungeon has its subordinates.

Every dungeon has its own rules, etiquette, and regulations which vary from dungeon to dungeon.  Assuming that you know the rules of every dungeon because you've been to one or a few dungeons can get you into trouble.  So don't assume things.  Getting briefed on the rules before entering that specific kingdom--err, dungeon--may be in your own best interest.  Punishments and expectations are different depending on location.

Having your own dungeon, or assuming the role of overseer of a preexisting S&M space, gives you certain responsibilities that you're expected to maintain.  Not following through on your own rules can lead to slippery slopes.  Not thinking through your policies can create confusion, awkwardness, and faux pas in some situations.  Ignoring problems can stimulate other issues.

A Master or Mistress who doesn't hold a tight grip on their subs (and on themselves) will notice things going to hell at some point.  Probably sooner rather than later.  It's incredible how quickly things can go to shit if you're slacking or not paying attention.  That's true for any BDSM dungeon, for any sovereign micronation, private business, sports team, household, etc., and (needless to say) for any legit country as well.  Have you ever been the boss of anything?  If so, then I have a sneaking suspicion that you know exactly what I'm talking about......

To a be a Dominant means that you have to have your own unique rules and standards for your submissives, for yourself, and how you go about doing things.  Simply cutting and pasting the rules of other people and applying them directly, without any alteration whatsoever, onto your own private constitution doesn't work.  Things will have to be tweaked a bit to suit you and your own tastes/methods.  Use other Doms' rules as templates but do so with the knowledge that you'll be finding what works for you and what doesn't, and how those all fit together, will create your own individual set of standards (whether you like it or not).  Simplicity sounds great but doesn't always translate in real life or in real BDSM.

Masters and Mistresses:  Don't apologize if you do things a bit differently from the other Dom across town.  Rule yourself, and your slave boys and girls, and don't worry about it.  Have ethics (of course) and make the best decisions that you can from scene to scene.  You'll figure out what works for you, even if it may not work for someone else.  Be respectful of other Doms, their slaves, your slaves, and respect your own decisions as well.

If you're a Dominant, that means that you're in charge of your own figurative kingdom (your own bondage and punishment micronation), what happens within it, and what you expect from your subjects.  Use other Masters' and Mistresses' standards as examples but be aware that your rules--those that you establish as an individual--may need to evolve as time goes on.

As Mel Brooks says in History of the World, Part I:  "It's good to be king."  He never says that it's easy or effortless, though.

Saturday, November 21, 2015

next gallery preview

This has happened a couple of times and, for whatever reason, it always happens towards the end of the year and whenever we do our "Autumn" (or what's supposed to be autumn....) galleries.  Probably because there's a million things to do and scheduling people for photo shoots can be tricky.

This year, however, I'm delaying the Autumn 2015 gallery by a couple of weeks because a jacket that I want to use for one of the segments isn't done yet and I was thinking about using one location for one segment but then I changed my mind and decided on something else instead.  But this upcoming gallery is a good one (light in tone, cool punishment devices, different fetish gear, etc.) and I want it to be as fun and multi-faceted as it can be.

A quick preview is above.

The Holidays 2015 Gallery (formerly known as the Autumn 2015 gallery.....) will be up in mid-December once the damn jacket is done and I figure out where I want to shoot that segment.  Typically, I try to find the scariest/grittiest/gloomiest places I can grab and shoot in those locations (and we'll get back to those--count on it) but, for this one, we're going for a certain kind of flavor (more country livin' and woods, less post-apocalyptic wasteland).

The overall theme for the Holidays 2015 Gallery is, basically, USA/American Gold Rush, etc., you know what I mean, you get it.  Cowboys, greasers, canyons, that sort of thing.  It's kind of ridiculous (I'm not sure that it's going to be the favorite set of all the stuff that we've done for my website and blog) but it has its own appeal and everyone looks good so, hey, that's cool.

I wanted the slave to visually reflect the "Gold Rush" theme but he kind of looks like a hot, alternative version of C-3PO.  So, yeah, it kind of looks like a cowboy torturing C-3PO for parts of this upcoming gallery.  That's some geeky shit--and it certainly wasn't my intent--but that's what we ended up with.  It is what it is.

December Lecture at Leather Archives


Chicago's Leather Archives and Museum will be hosting a lecture on Sunday, December 6th (from 3pm to 5pm) given by Gregg Storms.

The topic:  "Cute and Kinky:  the role of "cuteness" in producing fetish identities.  This subject would have appeal for all orientations of the kink community (men, women, trans, gay, straight, bi, etc.....) especially since what is considered "cute" (and what does "cute" really mean?) varies from subsect to subsect within the fetish world.  Interesting topic.

It's great that the Leather Archives is doing these kinds of lectures on different kinds of fetish subjects.  This sounds like a good program and I look forward to seeing what else pops up on their calendar when it comes to lectures next year as well.

Visit the Leather Archives and Museum website HERE for their address, regular hours, calendar of events, galleries info, etc.  The lecture on Sunday the 6th is free admission.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Yes, Master (entry 134): looking towards Finland

Launched in 2009 as a regular column for Washington D.C.'s The New Gay website, "Yes, Master" is a series of essays, Q&A's, and rants by Chicago pro Dom, Master Aiden.  The new entries of "Yes, Master" continue here on  Feel free to write in, ask questions, etc.:

In November, here in America, we tend to give thanks for all the good things we have and, yes, we do have quite a bit to be grateful for.

The Fetish/Leather/BDSM community has a lot to be grateful for.

Nowadays we have the freedom to express ourselves, enjoy time with whomever we enjoy spending time with, and plenty of resources from which we're able to draw inspiration.

But because we have so much rich imagery to enjoy (books, websites, videos, etc., etc., etc.), it can be easy to get distracted from the best of the best.  We have to make sure that we appreciate the trailblazers, the ones that set the precedents, people such as Touko Laaksonen aka Tom of Finland.

Born in 1920 in Kaarina, Finland, Laaksonen created hundreds of illustrations and comics depicting macho gay male archetypes engaging in countless forms of play, sex, and turmoil.  The first thing that pops into peoples' minds when they hear "Tom of Finland" are images of leathermen but not all of his work features that particular fetish (just a lot of it....).

Laaksonen's work speaks for itself and doesn't require excessive analysis.  It is what it is.  What you see, thankfully, is what you get.  Tom of Finland's comic book appeal lies in its technical excellence and lack of pretense.  Laaksonen's men are immediately recognizable due to their towering, muscular builds, squeaky-clean handsome faces (ironically), bulging asses, and engorged cocks.  Paul Bunyan sailors, soldiers, beach-goers, and leather-clad motorcyclists.

The Tom of Finland fetish men have a tendency to look like one another--whether blonde or dark-haired, black or white--to the point where it can look like a bunch of brothers (or 2nd cousins at most distant) doing anything and everything to themselves inside of a mirrored echo chamber.  Regardless, their aesthetic appeal--alone or surrounded by their companions--never gets old.  His visual ideals don't suit everyone's tastes but Tom of Finland presented what made him happy and stuck with it.

Though Laaksonen had some reoccurring themes (boots, woods, uniforms, staring contests), his men seem to indulge in limitless fetishes including bondage, spanking, group scenes, rough sex, soft intimacy, you name it.  It's always party time in Finland, apparently, and the menu of options is pretty damn full.

In Tom's self-contained, strangely timeless, parallel universe of beautiful, buff doppelgangers, the things that matter most are sex, scene, and surface.  That's what his men are for if nothing else.  They exist only for themselves and each other, they do as they feel, they make no apologies.

The official estate website for Tom of Finland is right HERE to make the world a better place (the website features Laaksonen's art and, also, other creators who focus on erotic content) and the Wikipedia biography is HERE (definitely worth a read to help understand Laaksonen's life/work and how those decades in the gay community influenced him).

Tom of Finland rules, always.

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Rubber Ball (annual)

It's the International Mr. Rubber weekend in Chicago for those of you who are rubber and latex fetishists.......and for those of you who aren't necessarily rubber people too.  It's kinky, fetishistic, BDSM-y, sceney, and fun.  Whether or not you enjoy being decked out in waterproof gear, it's always good to get out there and visit the market, see the sights, etc.  There will be workshops, pup play, the Mr. International Rubber title competition, and parties.

One of the many reasons that Chicago is great is because we're lucky enough to host plenty of these fetish events throughout the year and this is one of the most prominent.

Check out the itinerary HERE at the Mr. International Rubber website.

Friday, October 30, 2015

Treats, Tricks

Happy Halloween to all you freaks

Get out there, play safe, and have some fun


Master Aiden

Monday, October 26, 2015

Yes, Master (entry 133): Wicked Ways

Launched in 2009 as a regular column for Washington D.C.'s The New Gay website, "Yes, Master" is a series of essays, Q&A's, and rants by Chicago pro Dom, Master Aiden.  The new entries of "Yes, Master" continue here on  Feel free to write in, ask questions, etc.:

Sometimes we Masters and Mistresses need to (have to! depending on the submissive) take a kinder, gentler approach to BDSM if that's what the slave boy or girl needs in order to go through their journey with us.  And, obviously, there are others that can handle a rougher approach--heavy abuse, genuine (but controlled) cruelty.

But no matter how careful we can be with certain submissives, whether we're taking the subdued route or being ruthless, there is always a seed aspect to the role that we play as Doms:

We're the villains.  The oppressors.

The dictators.  The "bad guys" in the stories that we play out in real-time.

I'm fine with that.

BDSM is always a chosen scenario between the "abused" and the tyrant.  We love it because it's a controlled pretend/not-pretend living theater in which all participants have willingly appointed themselves to their roles.

People have chosen me to be their villain in their fetish adventures and I've taken that mantle many, many times over the years.  I'm more than happy to be your antagonist because, in our stories, I always win.

Being "the monster in the castle", in my opinion, is thoroughly enjoyable.

Monsters can be underrated, actually, and misunderstood.

What is it about villains that appeal so much to people?

There are some who argue that it's really the "evil ones" in our stories that keep audiences coming back for more, whether experiencing new adventures or reliving familiar, established fantasies.

Dipping into the Dark Side, we're taught, is dangerous.  As we grow older, we also learn that not doing our best to understand the darker parts of our world--the world outside our homes, the world within ourselves--, ignoring the shadows, is even more dangerous.  Lacking self-awareness is probably one of the most catastrophic routes that an individual, or group of people, can go down.  History backs me up on that.  We have to know ourselves and be able to navigate through the shadowlands created by our personal experiences and desires.

Villains, in the stories that we experience through media and in the scenarios that we play out in BDSM, serve a purpose.  They offer insight.  They play a part in understanding each other, ourselves, and our individual drives.

Sometimes we have to create tyrants and bad guys so that we can unlock the truth in grasping what it is that we really want within the wilderness of our intellects, emotions, and desires.

Heroes represent our ideals, the best that we can be, what we aim for, what may be possible.

But villains?

Whether we like it or not, villains offer up truth.  They're impulsive, greedy, selfish, nasty.  We all have those aspects within ourselves.  Sometimes when we're wrapped up in our ideal selves and our ideal drives, being heroic, things can become overbearing, tangled, cloudy, exhausting.

Sometimes we have to check in with The Bad Guy--as a compass--to see where we're at, what we are, how we're doing.  We have to address the shadows to measure the light.

Bondage and fetish scenes are stories where the villains call the shots.  Although we--rightly--associate S&M with tactile sensations and living, breathing action, I've always felt that the emotional and psychological aspects of kink are pushed aside far too often.

Dominance, whether approached with kindness or cruelty, is about one person controlling the life, experiences, or actions of another.  One person bows to the wishes of some other force.  Villains are created when that force turns out to be "bad" towards the submissive.

Sometimes we chose "bad".

So that we can know what we're dealing with in the world, what could happen.  So that we can carefully recognize the supposed bad within ourselves and within other people and be able to cope with those shadows and, in some cases, indulgently submit to them.

BDSM is really a shadow play--a safe space where we can toy with our own various darknesses in constructed contexts--reflecting our fears and what we're afraid of within ourselves.  We're afraid that we're too eager to submit or that we're too controlling.  We're afraid of our drives, desires, fascinations.  Bondage play allows us to tap into this by reckoning with our fears and desires (and those desires that we fear).  We come face-to-face with the "bad guys" and we see where the story takes us.

There are people who need to submit to their villains (inner and outer) from time to time.  Luckily they have Masters and Mistresses who are thoroughly equipped to oppress them.

Thursday, October 22, 2015


Lots of bells and whistles involved for the Autumn 2015 Gallery that we're working on right now.

Making a bunch of stuff just for this shoot only and acquiring pieces of gear that we'll be using only for this project but may not use for anything else (meaning that I'll probably just donate them somewhere afterwards).  Because some things look great for photographic purposes but aren't practical for real life sessions.

But the tone is established.  The message will be there.  The point will be made.  You'll get it if you know what I mean.  I won't need to explain a lot to you and I won't need to take your hands and guide you through it to any substantial degree.  You know what's possible and what you may be able to look forward to (depending on who you are and what your fetishes are because everyone is different).

I use a lot of BDSM gear that serves me perfectly during sessions but may not be necessarily visually striking for photography reasons.  Which is why I get (or hand-make) a lot of new stuff (whips, clothes, masks, shackles, and so on) when we do updated photo projects.  Some of that new stuff stays in the inventory while other pieces I donate afterwards.  Sometimes I wonder if the Chicago thrift stores are like "Oh great, more bondage gear donations from Master Aiden...." a couple times a year.  haha  Hopefully somebody can use them for their own kink purposes or they can use them for some kind of S&M Halloween costume or whatnot.

The gallery to be posted on here next month is, without a doubt, the most elaborate (i.e. pain in the ass), expensive fetish shoot that we've ever done--while in the midst of doing my typical, weekly pro sessions with clients as usual--so hopefully it will turn out the way I want it to.  It had better be worth all the fuss!

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Upcoming Chicago Fetish Events

There are good BDSM/fetish events happening in Chicago pretty much all the time but here's a few in particular coming up soon.....

Halloween is (as you can probably guess) a high point for the fetish community and, if you're in the mood for a kinky spin on your All Hallow's fun (which you just may be), Metro could be the right place for you to visit this year.

At the Metro on Friday October 30th and Saturday October 31st are Nocturna on one night and Freakeasy's Hellfire Halloween on the other night, respectively.  While neither are full-on bondage parties or anything of that nature, both events tend to lean towards alternative/subcultural crowds so those could be the perfect parties to spend time at during that weekend if you're looking to wear (and see) great costumes (and good-looking people) and listen to dependably strong music.  Men and women (straight, gay, bi, trans, etc.).

The calendar for The Metro is HERE for tickets and info for both of those events.

On Sunday November 1st, The Leather Archives and Museum will be hosting a free lecture at 3pm about leatherman psychology.  Fetish attire is welcome.  It sounds fascinating and will inevitably provide fresh insights regarding the fetish world.  Very cool!

As for kinky and kink-friendly events around Halloween, these are obviously just a couple of examples of what will be happening in Chicago during that weekend so keep your eyes open, dig around online (Fetlife is always a perfect resource), and plan a bit in advance so that you're not overwhelmed with choices (not all of them equal....) once Halloween is actually here.

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Yes, Master (entry 132): Autumn 2015 Q's & A's

Launched in 2009 as a regular column for Washington D.C.'s The New Gay website, "Yes, Master" is a series of essays, Q&A's, and rants by Chicago pro Dom, Master Aiden.  The new entries of "Yes, Master" continue here on  Feel free to write in, ask questions, etc.:
It was time for another Q&A post so here we go with new questions that I liked that I thought would be relevant to some of you out there.  Some of these questions I've gotten asked before, or by numerous people (the same question), but that's okay.  They're interesting questions and they make sense to address on here.

Q:  I'm seeking a Master who will punch me.  Would you be willing to do that? -- slave T

A:  Punch you where?  In the face without boxing gloves?  No, I'm not going to do that.  I'm waaaaay past the point in my BDSM journey where I dabble in extremo nonsense that is completely reasonable in a fantasy but is questionable as fuck in reality.  So no.  Nope.  Not gonna do that.  I would, however, consider gently/playfully/carefully hitting at your stomach, shoulder, or somewhere safe on your body along those lines while wearing boxing gloves but you would have to provide the boxing gloves for me (punching sessions are an unusual request and I don't own boxing gloves) and, no, I'm not going to be hitting you super-hard to the extent where I would have to worry about seriously hurting you in some capacity which I have no interest or intent on doing.  It would have to be a very much adjusted version of your fantasy, slave T.

Q:  Master Aiden, I want to send you a toy for Christmas but I don't see a wishlist link on your website.  Could you please send me a link to your wishlist, Sir?  Thank you.

A:  Dear St. Nicholas (?):  It's tradition for Masters and Mistresses to have wishlists on their sites for gear, clothing, and toys that they're looking to acquire but wishlists aren't my thing for whatever reason (possibly due to a little bit of buyer's remorse--not much, just a couple of times--from ordering some gear online in the past but, then again, I've ordered/recieved some amazing stuff from all corners of the globe that ended up being beyond what I was hoping for--in a great way!--so I'm really just contradicting myself here.....).  These days, I try to do brick and mortar shopping via leather stores in the Chicago area as much as possible--or at vendors events such as International Mr. Leather--so that I'm more sure that I truly want whatever the desired item is as part of my inventory.  I don't want more stuff just for the sake of having more stuff.  When I do order S&M gear online, I order it from sites and vendors that I know I love.  Maybe I'll change my mind on that at some point but at the moment I don't have an online wishlist.  There's a secret wishlist on paper that I have at my place (it's a very short wishlist at this point--which makes me happy) but I'm pretty sure that it will be completely crossed off before the end of the year.  For right now, you should just send me some good vibes (the emotion, not the stimulators).

Q:  For a leather master, you don't seem to wear leather a lot in your photos.  Do you wear leather during your sessions with slaves?  -- leatherj

A:  No, I don't wear leather a lot during my sessions with slaves.  I have plenty of fetish gear in other materials (cotton, spandex, sporty wear, and just plain old black clothes) but, when it comes to leather, I stick to leather for my boots, cuffs, shackles, paddles, and whips primarily.  Leather clothing (shirts, pants) is a whole process to clean properly and I typically don't have the time to be running back and forth to the dry cleaners/specialty leather cleaners at different points of the week and spend an unnecessary amount of money on that.  Do you want my session rates to be raised?  I'm guessing that the answer is probably "No."  I like for my gear to be very clean not clean-ish (not wiped off in 2 seconds, not cleaned every 2 months, I'm talking CLEAN clean).  Small items in leather (like certain paddles, etc.) can be easily soaked, cleaned, and treated at home.  Some of my slaves are very familiar with how serious I am when it comes to not-fucking-around about clean clothing and gear.  Clean-ish isn't acceptable and totally clean when it comes to leather clothing is an ordeal.  And if you've ever done an extensive, active, 3 or 4-hour BDSM session in neck-to-toe gear, you're going to know what it's like to not feel very Dominant while holding a whip--you're just going to be hot and miserable.  If I'm going to be flogging and binding someone for 3 hours (not exaggerating), I want to be fucking comfortable in gear that doesn't chafe or overextend its welcome.  My approach to BDSM sessioning is an active, athletic one where a lot of movement, scenes, bondage, and impact take place.  Standing around and looking fancy is not one of my priorities in the least.  I'm a busy man.  A ton of leather wear, on me with what I do, is a recipe for overheated, draining sessions followed by ridiculously high cleaning bills.  That's not going to happen.  As the slave, you're more than welcome to wear as much leather on yourself as you want since I'm not going to be running around the city afterward finding the right gear cleaner for you and then paying the $50 bill to have the jacket or pants correctly taken care of.  After every session....sometimes multiple times a week, depending on the week.   Leather pieces on me in small amounts that I can soak or clean myself without damaging them?  Yes.  Extensive leather wear on me, with what I do?  Absolutely not.  Learned through life (this is one of the benefits of having grown up in the goth/punk scene--some of us know firsthand that leather and vinyl clothing looks great.....but wearing them for vast amounts of time is, uh, an "interesting" experience).  But this is just me.  I, personally, like to be totally comfortable when I'm actively Domming someone for long periods of time.

Q:  I enjoy reading your blog but I have to ask:  What do you enjoy reading yourself?  Erotic stories maybe or memoirs?  You should consider writing a book about your experiences as a BDSM Master.  -- slave m

A:  First of all, thank you.  I'm glad that you enjoy reading this blog.  I read mostly nonfiction with some select fiction thrown in there every once in while.  I like history and, yes, some biographies too.  I don't have any plans to write a book since I do so much blogging about my experiences and insights.  My "book" is already here, on the site that you're on right now, and it's free.  Read as much as you like.

Q:  I want to do a BDSM session with you but I don't like experiencing pain.  Can we just do a bondage-fetish session together without the spanking and the rest of it?  -- submissive H

A:  Of course.  Most of my slaves like some pain with their punishments but there are certainly others who are like you.  If pain and spanking, etc. isn't your thing, then we'll concentrate on orders, comfortable bondage, and fetish instead.  No pain?  No problem.

Q:  What is your next photo session going to be like?  Would you consider writing about public punishments?  -- lboy

A:  I don't want to tell you too much as of now what the next photo session is going to be like.  All that I'll say is that there's a lot to it, I'm gathering the props right now, doing the scheduling, and will start shooting segments of it within the next 2 weeks.  It will probably be around a month or so before it's posted online.  There are parts of it that I want to do that I need to get specific appointments for (people, locations).  As for your other question, the fantasy of public punishments and the reality of "public" "punishments" are subjects that I will tackle on a seperate blog posting in the near future, I promise. 

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Short Spank: Inescapable

To find BDSM in pop culture takes very little effort.

You'll find allusions to bondage, sadism, masochism, etc. reflected in songs, television, movies, art, advertising (sometimes subtly, sometimes overt) all the time.  Nowadays more than ever.


What is it about aspects of S&M that intrigue so many people?

We can get under the impression that all that stuff is very obscure, for a niche crowd, for a small segment of the population when, in fact, it seems to me that that's simply not the case.  Peoples minds wander into "strange" kinky territory much more than our culture is eager to admit.

I bet that if you tried today, you'd be able to find at least a couple of sly references to bondage and S&M on a TV show or in a run-of-the-mill magazine ad a lot easier than you may expect.

The longer that I'm in the leather world, the more I realize how normal (yes, that word) bondage and discipline fetishes actually are when you're willing to scratch the surface.

You think that you're so strange and perverted to be interested in shackles and paddles, to come on to websites and blogs like mine?

Come on, now.  Think again.

You're in very good company and a whole lot of it.

Friday, September 25, 2015


CineKink is back in Chicago next weekend.

Saturday night, October 3rd, beginning at 7pm.


The most appropriate place:  The Leather Archives and Museum

Check things out and get your tickets HERE on the Leather Archives and Museum website.

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Q's for A's, Autumn 2015

Those of you who are able to raise your hands, do you have any questions?


And those of you who are bound at the moment......oh well.  I guess that you'll have to wait until next time.


I'm going to do another Q&A posting in October.  If you have any BDSM-related questions for me, go ahead and email them before September 30th.  I'll answer some of the questions on that upcoming blog posting next month.

My contact email is the same as always:

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Yes, Master (entry 131): Reading, Writing, Arithmetic....

....taught to the tune of the hickory stick.

Launched in 2009 as a regular column for Washington D.C.'s The New Gay website, "Yes, Master" is a series of essays, Q&A's, and rants by Chicago pro Dom, Master Aiden.  The new entries of "Yes, Master" continue here on  Feel free to write in, ask questions, etc.:

We all know that one of the more prominent, classic BDSM fantasy scenarios is the Naughty Student.

It's a cliche by this point but so is black leather and chains and, yet, those aren't going away from the fetish world any time soon nor should they.  Is it so wrong that the Naughty Student scenario in S&M is comparable to the "pizza delivery man" story hook in old-school porn?  No, of course not.  There's nothing wrong with popular tropes.  Popularity, unlike submissives, shouldn't be punished.  If anything, there's a reason why the Naughty Student scenario is so common and that's because plenty of people dream about it.  If you're worried about stumbling into a cliche S&M concept, then you're trying too hard.  Don't worry about it.  Live a little and don't fight it, especially if your partner wants to play the Naughty Student game.

Now that it's Back To School season, let's step into the classroom.....

Firstly, we can all agree that the Naughty Student--and the Strict Teacher--are all adults.  Just because the Naughty Student scene has an innocent allure doesn't mean that it's taken literally and, no, none of us condone real abuse towards anyone.  BDSM "abuse"--fun and games between consenting adults--isn't the same thing as real abuse.  Everyone in this classroom knows that already but, just in case, it's good to proclaim our values.  I think that it's safe to say that we're all on the same page in that respect.  Plus, as we're all aware, there are tons of adult learners out there.....

Grad students.  Professionals going after second degrees.  People looking to acquire additional skills or further knowledge.

We're all students, aren't we?

Yes, even those of us who take on the role of Teacher, we all learn new things every day simply by experiencing life.

Some people may think that the idea of the Naughty Student/Strict Teacher seems too far-fetched but, in reality, it's one of the more plausible S&M themes you can enjoy with your partner(s).

We all get frustrated when someone is slacking off, not fully listening, or intentionally causing trouble.  Adults do this to each other all the time.

You're trying to guide someone through a situation, you're pushing them to complete a project, or you're leading them through a game in which you want them to reach towards their full potential but something about their efforts just isn't quite right.....

Maybe they're choosing not to respond properly or respectfully.

Maybe they're acting out.

Maybe they're asking you bratty or sarcastic questions.

So correct them.

Firm and direct orders will get your point across.  Strikes with a cane, rod, ruler, or paddle will make their lessons memorable.  Give them challenges, provide homework, set assignments.  Some Teachers create very humiliating scenarios for their Naughty Students to endure while some of us take a more subdued approach.

It all depends on the Student and it all depends on how they learn as an individual.  Some Students need careful guidance while other ones need a firm hand to keep them in check.

Certain approaches to learning are universal and timeless, no matter what kind of "classroom" you're teaching in.  As I know personally, there are a lot of kinksters out there who don't mind an educational spin on their torment.

Monday, September 7, 2015

Chicago Doesn't Look Like This

Well, at least not yet.  It's only the beginning of September.

But what this week does mean is that I'm getting my stuff (my gear, my plans, location choices, participants, etc.) together for my Autumn 2015 Gallery (coming up towards Halloween or early November).

I have it planned out.

Pretty much planned out, most of it planned out.  As with all the other shoots that we've done, there are always a few last-minute changes and revisions so it's possible that I may revamp a few aspects of the upcoming Autumn shoot(s) but, overall, I think that the concepts are determined at this moment.

This is going to be a good one.  A really good one with a great central theme.

I'm not going to tell you too much but I will say that it's lighter in tone (less industrial doom and gloom) than the last couple shoots that we've done but it's even more BDSM and fetish-oriented--more kinky, basically-- than the ones that we've done before.  "How?"  You'll just have to wait and see.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Yes, Master (entry 130): Ideals? No Deal.

Launched in 2009 as a regular column for Washington D.C.'s The New Gay website, "Yes, Master" is a series of essays, Q&A's, and rants by Chicago pro Dom, Master Aiden.  The new entries of "Yes, Master" continue here on  Feel free to write in, ask questions, etc.:

Nothing can genuinely mess up your experience with a Master or Mistress (or, worse, mess up your dynamic with a Master or Mistress....) more than over-idealizing things.

Keep an open mind.

Don't micromanage.

Talk about your favorite scenes and fetishes?  Of course!  We want to know.  We need to know, actually.

Tell us what you don't like, what turns you off, or what grosses you out?  Yes, you should tell us so that we know what to avoid.

Make requests?  Absolutely.

Give suggestions?  Without a doubt.

I've said it before and I'll say it again:

Every BDSM adventure is a team effort between the Dominant and the submissive.  You and I work together to make your fantasies come to fruition.

However, you must always realize that fantasies are just that--they're dreams that you cook up in your head. Many of those dreams, yes, we can make them happen for you.  We can figure out how to orchestrate them--through planning, effort, and equipment--and bring them into your real life.

But we can't do everything.  None of us can.

The good news is that there are plenty of incredible BDSM scenes that are entirely doable as though they surge out of your brain and directly into reality.  Focus on those.  Let's make those doable ones happen.

But then there are wildly elaborate or deeply impractical S&M scene requests that can be genuinely dangerous, dumb, or beyond the fiscal reach of what you or your Dominant has available.

If one Mistress can't fulfill an unusual request, try another Mistress and ask her if she's able and interested.  If one Master doesn't go where you want to go, give another Master a chance.  If your request--whatever it may be--is being turned down by numerous Dominants, then you're asking for too much.  Take the hint and accept the fact that whatever that specific request is isn't going to happen.  There must be a reason for this.


Make your requests.  It doesn't hurt to try.

But if your Dom tells you:  "No, we can't do that because such and such....", take their word for it.  They're not trying to sink your dreams or anything like that.  They're not trying to ruin your day, certainly.  It's just that there's a valid reason why that Master or Mistress doesn't accept that specific request.  Either it doesn't suit their personal tastes, it's beyond their skill or comfort level, or that particular request of yours involves bells and whistles that they don't have at their disposal.

The fact that they turned that request down doesn't make them any less of a Master or a Mistress.  We all excel at certain scenes and refrain from other scenes.   It just means that we're being honest and straightforward with you.  Masters and Mistresses are nothing if not direct.

My strengths--for example--as a Master may be very, very different from what some other Master (whether across town or across the country) has to offer.  And vice-versa.

Because BDSM offers up such a wide range of various scenes that are absolutely within reach--a snap to bring to life, simple to orchestrate--don't turn away from what kink has to offer with what's available to you and with who is available for you.  Embrace what's there, try new things, and focus on the scenes that are doable.  Don't let unachievable BDSM ideals sabotage your ability to enjoy real-deal dungeon fun.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Learn To C.O.P.E.

Midwesterners, this is for you:

The Central Ohio Perversion Excursion (love the name) takes place again this year on the weekend of September 11th through the 13th.

Leather, poly, roleplay, bondage, men, women, trans, straight, gay, bi, etc., etc., etc.  All the good stuff.  Kinky workshops and play parties will be keeping the attendees busy.

For registration and information, visit the C.O.P.E. page HERE

Thursday, August 27, 2015

Yes, Master (entry 129): Neoprene (.....and fur, vinyl, and denim)

Launched in 2009 as a regular column for Washington D.C.'s The New Gay website, "Yes, Master" is a series of essays, Q&A's, and rants by Chicago pro Dom, Master Aiden.  The new entries of "Yes, Master" continue here on  Feel free to write in, ask questions, etc.:


Surf's Up!

One of the newest additions to the fetish materials pantheon is neoprene, the semi-thick, spongy, rubber-like synthetic typically used to create surf suits and other aquatic gear.  I think that part of the appeal of neoprene gear is who we typically picture, or imagine, wearing this type of gear:  aqua sports guys, surfers, etc.  Hot guys.  Really hot guys, actually.  Tan, soaked, healthy specimens glistening in the sun, having a good time, cutting through the waves.  Enticing to the point where--just looking at a neoprene suit unworn, hanging up on a hanger at some sports store or whatever--you immediately know what kind of person belongs inside of it.  It's no wonder why people would be attracted to a man or woman in a surf suit.

There's something immediate about neoprene because it's associated with a small, very specific type of activity and a very specific type of person.  There's nothing coy or mysterious about it.  Unlike leather and spandex--which are associated with different kinds of people for a variety of purposes--neoprene always equals beaches, oceans, lakes, physical activity, and guys (and gals) with an athletic temperament.

Neoprene closes off the outside environment from the flesh that it protects within; it locks in heat and absorbs sweat and other bodily fluids.  Some neoprene people enjoy water sports along with more conventional aquatic activities.  Not all, just some.

The aesthetic appeal of neoprene is not to be brushed aside.  A tight, clinging, shining (possibly wet, typically black) neoprene bodysuit looks amazing on conventionally attractive shapes but this material can also be relatively forgiving towards those who don't have time, or choose not, to visit the gym every day.  Neoprene is, without a doubt, a good-looking material.

The feel of neoprene, to me, is a bit different.  There's something kind of alien going on there.  Everything about neoprene feels foreign, unnatural (even though its texture mimics the skin of some sea creatures), industrially-created.  For all the beachy, sun-kissed associations that are attached to surf suits, there is a seriousness to neoprene when you feel it up close.  There's something intimidating about the thick, clinging quality of the material and the obvious, precise care with which it's constructed.  Neoprene gear always seems fresh out of the factory for some reason.  State-of-the-art wear for a primal environment.  Better (aquatic) living through science.

It will be interesting to see if neoprene rises in profile, as the years go on, within the fetish community.  Will it become as popular as rubber and latex gear has?  Or will it continue to be something of a niche within a niche, a cult material weaving through all the leather, rubber, and spandex that we see at BDSM events?  Whatever the case will be, there's certainly nothing wrong with seeing more of these oceanic surfer babes swimming through the kink world.


What would Leopold von Sacher-Masoch (the ultimate masochist) think of modern-day furries?

Would he have his Venus abusing him while she was dressed as a tigress or, perhaps, a bossy female fox mascot?


Do you fear the Big Bad Wolf?

Or do you leave the window open at night, hoping that he'll snatch you up while you're sleeping?

Furs have been around for a long time (as you can probably guess) and it's not uncommon for these tactilly soothing pelts to create fetishes for some individuals.  Needless to say, real fur (coats, boots, gloves, etc.) automatically brings the outside world inside and can lend its wearers creature qualities.  Shamans would agree with me on this.  It's not just the repeating shapes and colors of a leopard print article of clothing that's meant to attract people.  A person wearing fur--or something that mimics fur, or the designs within a kind of fur--is trying to tell you something:  "There is a wildness to me", "I have animalistic tendencies", "I am a predator", etc.  The sensual component of fur can't be, and isn't meant to be, ignored.

And, no, it doesn't necessarily mean that a person is into bestiality or is a zoophile if they have a fetish for fur.  So calm down.  Fido is probably safe.  It just means that certain people want to be welcomed to the jungle--via the clothing of their play partner and, possibly, through what they're wearing themselves--when they step into the bedroom or the dungeon.

Aside from the obvious primal associations with fur (vicious beasts, Daniel Boone, peasants of the forest, wild and wooly outdoorsmen in the arctic, explorers in harsh environments, soldiers in rough terrain, and so on), fur can also mean luxury and wealth as in the coats that well-off women wear to the opera, movie stars in limousines, etc.  Fur, for some people, can conjure flashes of diamonds and whiffs of expensive perfumes.  For them, there's a comfort and exclusivity around fur.

As for the furries--those who wear faux fur bodysuits--there's an aspect of animal-human hybrid to their playful, imaginative scenes.  A lot of people get annoyed by the fur suit-clad mascots at basketball games but it's entirely possible that the person sitting next to them really enjoys that part of the evening....


Shiny, water-proof, plastic-fantastic vinyl clothing holds a lot of appeal for some fetishists.  Unless it's a raincoat (and even when it is for certain individuals), it's almost impossible not to associate this type of material with kink and decadence.  Sexy and reflective (and, as some people would say, cheap and tacky-looking as fuck but isn't that the point?), vinyl wear is synonymous with raves, dance clubs, Space Age campiness, strippers, and rock musicians.  Nothing natural about it.

Vinyl clothing doesn't have a deep history like fur and leather wear.  This kind of look rose to prominence in the 1960's, 70's, and beyond; laboratory-created kinky clothing for outdoors or indoors, depending on who you are.

PVC gear (plastic polyvinyl chloride--clearly you can't go into the mountains and hunt something down to get this skin) is as artificial as it gets and I think that's why certain kinksters are aroused by it.  Vinyl clothing is never not-kinky.  It seems to have only one kind of transgressive meaning.


Denim and leather go hand-in-hand.  Not only do they look great together, they also hold multiple meanings and can be worn for multiple purposes.  I know that there are a lot of people (of all orientations) who are turned on by jeans and the the attractive body forms that they contain.

Are jeans--which we see all day, every day--truly a fetish material?

You bet.  They can be.  And there's many of you out there who absolutely hold denim as one of your favorite obsessions.  You lucky bastards.

Jeans can be baggy, tailored, form-fitting, or second-skin.  They can be casual and intentionally dull or they can easily be used as a kind of fetishwear.  A higher number of girls than guys seem to grasp this but there are more and more men who are getting clued in when it comes to their blue (or black) jeans and how to wear them for whatever purpose.

Are you just trying to look presentable in your nice jeans?  Or do you want people to look at your bulge, legs, and ass?  I guess that that's up to you.  But don't pretend that I, and others within the fetish world, don't know what you're doing.  We're aware of the fit of the jeans that you've chosen.  Coyness might work on some people but it doesn't work on us, son.

Blue jeans (like leather) are for good boys, bad boys, workers, preppies, and rebels.  The fit of your jeans--and what you wear along with them--sends out the message of who you are along that spectrum and what kind of reaction you've intending to provoke.