Thursday, August 3, 2017

Thank You



Final blog posting here but, as I mentioned earlier, this blog will stay online until the end of the year so that people can read the old and new writings and utilize the Free Use images posted below.

I'll keep it brief:

Working as a professional BDSM Master was an incredible adventure. 

I will always miss it and I will always miss my submissives, "slaves", clients, and comrades from the fetish community.

I love you very, very much and I wish you guys and gals the best.  Thank You for sharing those secret parts of yourselves with me.

Those of you who know me well are already aware that my life (and my work) continues to be quirky and unconventional even though I'll no longer be working as a Dom.  I'll be just fine.  Have I gone "normal"?  No, not quite.

You may not be shocked to imagine that much of my upcoming work, and personal life, will definitely have a fetishistic edge to it.....

A little bit of leather, few bites of kink (subversive or not-so-subversive) improves things, spices them up.  All for the better.

XOXOXOXOXO,

A

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Free Use Images

Over the years we--my photographers, collaborators, submissive models, my slaves, and myself--did some interesting, extensive work for this blog and for my website.

The photographs below, in this posting, are a special set of pictures that you can use for any purpose. 

Use 'em however you want.  They're yours now.  Public Domain.

If you're doing a book, writing an article, a BDSM website, adding visuals to a story, creating an art piece, whatever, go ahead and point + click + save.  Put 'em to use!  You have our permission.  That would be cool if certain pics were serving some kind of further purpose now that their original intent has been fulfilled for me.

I don't need to be credited when you're applying these pictures towards whatever your project is, whether it's about gay leather subculture, BDSM, fetish, any orientation S&M, etc.  You can credit them as "public domain" or you can choose not to credit them at all or "photo by Mstr Adn";  that's up to you.  Do what you want.

Here are the photographs that are now Free Use Public Domain images:








































Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Finito



And that's that.

Monday, July 24, 2017

Kollegiate



Coming up this autumn is one of Chicago's biggest BDSM weekends, Kinky Kollege, happening from Friday, October 6th through Sunday, October 8th.

Lectures, classes, presentations, play parties, and goods (very good).

All attendees must register in advance (understandable).

Visit the Kinky Kollege website for information and registration right HERE.

Sunday, July 23, 2017

Yes, Master (entry 151): What Being A Professional BDSM Master Means To Me

Launched in 2009 as a regular column for Washington D.C.'s The New Gay website, "Yes, Master" is a series of essays, Q&A's, and rants by Chicago pro Dom, Master Aiden.   Entries of "Yes, Master" have continued here on MasterAiden.blogspot.com.
...................................................

I feel like I'm writing some kind of essay for school or something but that's fine.  Here we go.

What being a professional BDSM Master means to me:

*Dealing with BDSM, and dealing with numerous participants in BDSM, reinforces how extremely different we all are from each other (for better or for worse).  Everyone is an entirely separate "computer program" from the person standing next to them and we all have to be "learned" in order to be understood.  Assume nothing.  Education through hands-on experience is constant.

*Living out fantasies reshapes reality.  Are my slaves stronger, more self-realized, people after being with me and exploring their dream scenarios?  Without a doubt.  I've literally noticed a swagger that some of them have after their sessions (good) and a higher level of self-confidence.  I guess that receiving a firm spanking does that to some people.  Has assuming the role of Dom, for over a decade, changed me as a person?  Oh yes.  Profoundly.  I'm a lot nicer in some ways and more of a ruthless bastard in other ways.  And I'm completely okay with that.

*The role that you play is the role that you decided on.  (But this is speaking from living as a regular adult in the privilege of 21st century America.)  In that context, no one's making you do anything.  It's all up to you.

*Recognize the value of granular thinking and planning.  I've never been more organized in my life but being a dungeon Master means that I'm in charge of how sessions are orchestrated and I'm the one controlling the funhouse ride.  So I'd better be organized!  There's really no other option.

*Sharpened intuition.  I'm not a mind-reader but I'm going to make plenty of strong guesses when it comes to my submissives.  Secretly tallying the ratio between my correct and incorrect guesses when it comes to you is actually a lot of fun and I've gotten better at it as the years have gone on.

*Peoples erotic pursuits and interests--their sexualities or how they express that part of their lives--are dangerously maligned and ghettoized.  Examining our sexualities should be taken as seriously as how we deal with our psychological and emotional well-beings.  Not made fun of, or taken lightly, and definitely not written off as being shameful/unnecessary/marginal.  Our culture doesn't respect sexuality.  We don't work hard enough to understand the various forms in which that manifests for individuals and that's, without question, one of the greatest tragedies of our civilization.  It's treated like it's a dirty joke and many people pay a devastating price for that.  The psychodramas of BDSM, for example, should be pleasurable adventuring for both submissives and Doms but, for some people in our society and for plenty of people outside of our societies, these interests bring extreme inner turmoil and, in some cases, ostracization and trauma.  That shouldn't be the case and I wish that it wasn't.

*Making firm choices and sticking to them.  I don't know any longtime professional Masters or Mistresses who are indecisive.  That doesn't seem to be something that's meant for us.

*Prioritizing what pieces of BDSM gear are absolute necessities vs. dungeon dust-collectors or what's neat-o but too niche or what's today's impulse buy/tomorrow's regret purchase.  This kind of experience lends itself very, very well to other facets of life.  Self-control, money, budgeting, and that sort of thing.

*I've understood the need to communicate that the lives of S&M experience providers (Masters, Mistresses, professional Switches, professional masochists) are very different than what many people imagine.  How we're portrayed in media outlets--from "The Simpsons", to scandal TV shows, to old literature--is cartoonishly off-base from reality.  Cut the nonsense.  Those tired, lurid clich├ęs are extremely over-the-top, melodramatic, inaccurate, and can steer people down a false path towards believing that they understand a tiny demographic that's vastly outside the realm of their personal experiences.  I got into pro Domming because I grew up in the goth/punk subculture (which links up to the fetish world because of similarities in temperament, aesthetics, and music), I started Domming as kind of a dare/personal challenge issued by friends, and I grew to genuinely love working as a fetish Master.  My story isn't super-dramatic, to be honest with you, and I think that it's a common one in the fetish community.  Will you encounter people with tragic backstories who are involved in the BDSM world?  Sure.  You can find tragic stories within any group of people.  But what I (as well as most others in the fetish world) have gained from exploring BDSM, whether on a professional level or as a hobbyist, is a deeper level of personal freedom, a deeper understanding of myself, and unmatched insight regarding numerous expressions of human eroticism--invaluable knowledge that spills over into understanding people overall.

*Working as a Master has made me much more empathetic, careful, and understanding of the needs of others.  I think that that's pretty fucking important.

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

would have, could have


Over the years, for this blog and for my main website, we've done all kinds of BDSM photo shoots centered around different themes or "story" concepts (that's just how my mind works and it helps me focus).

Doing things that way helped develop different kinds of aesthetics rather than constant, typical gay leather looks.  Which we love, have dipped into, but I think we're all very, very familiar with standard gay leather aesthetics; sometimes I wanted to stay within that tradition and sometimes I wanted to move things in more unusual directions.

We--myself, my photographers, and the fine individuals who posed as the submissives--have been able to create some really fun stuff.  Some of it pretty cool, some it kind of goofy.

We've done cowboys, clowns, alien robots, soliders, vampires, athletes, literary characters, and various fetish freaks of different designs BUT there are some ideas that I never got around to......

There were photo shoot concepts written down that were either too impractical, too creepy, or too expensive to do.

That doesn't mean that you shouldn't do them though!

To you fetish photographers, models, providers, etc. these are ideas to consider.  I wasn't able to do them, but maybe you can:


*Holy Virtues   Yeah, there was one photo shoot plan that was going to be me dressed as a priest punishing people (male penitents, fetish nuns, you get the idea).  Lots of church aesthetics, cathedrals, towers, gothic doors, stormy skies, etc. We could have shot the nitty-gritty stuff in a basement space somewhere and tossed around some red velvet curtains, chalices, and crucifixes with some good editing and some nice black-and-whites.  But I was kind of concerned that it would be going too far with a religious theme (never underestimate how touchy people can get about that kind of material......) and that it could've ended up seriously offending some people (why I was worried about that--when taking many of the other images on here in consideration--is kind of a mystery).  So, no, we didn't end up doing a Master Aiden nunsploitation piece which would've been influenced by this artist Clovis Trouille  (if you're not familiar with him, read about him HERE.  I love him; he's a big weirdo).  Overall, this general concept was scratched out (which is too bad).



*Sade Story    Speaking of Clovis Trouille--and another project that would've sorta/kinda been influenced by him--was going to be me as a powered wig, riding crop Marquis de Sade type of dude, white faces, girls in slutty Madame du Barry corsets and wigs, baroque gimp-masked slaves, white tights, leather boots, I don't know......To do the wigs right would have been super-expensive and I have no idea what location would've worked (in Chicago?) that correctly matched the theme.  So, basically, too expensive, no suitable (or available) location for something like this.  It would have been great though!  Oh well.  It was a solid idea.


*Horror Show    I really wanted to do this--with a ton of fake blood and viscera, 80's vibe, grimy locations, freaky photography, etc.--strictly from an arts project challenge perspective more than anything else but I was afraid that it would just scare off clients.  BDSM scene people would have loved it but new clients could have been possibly freaked-out by it (while my established clients would have just snickered at it because I'm not a very scary guy as those of you who know me are thoroughly aware).  Scaring new people away would defeat the entire purpose (duh).  That's why we didn't end up shooting a truly horror/slasher photo project.   But this concept would've been very doable!  Unnerving locations aren't hard to get in Chicago (haha).  And we could've constructed some extremely terrifying mask and costume for me as a vicious antagonist of some kind.  The slave models would have enjoyed participating but it could've have been seen as being too dark and too hardcore which isn't my objective.  Would it have actually been sexy, though, to anyone but a very niche-within a niche-within a niche crowd?  I'm not convinced.  Cool aesthetics but a bit self-defeating.


*Animal Farm     Should've done it!  A "Farmer In The Dell", "Old MacDonald" type of thing with me as a farmer (denim overalls, etc.) and slaves as masked pig-people, goat-people, cat-people, dog-people, whatever.  It would've been absurd, silly, and kinky.  We could've, definitely, found some rustic location somewhere and pulled this off.  I'd make a good, fresh-faced farmer, for sure.  I regret not doing this one.  We ran out of time to organize this, it never happened, and that sucks.


*Great(ly perverted) Gatsby     This is the one that I regret not doing the most.  We would've rented out some beautiful hotel room in a nice location, streamers everywhere, confetti everywhere, champagne glasses and bottles everywhere, many slaves--men, women, trans, various types, all inclusive--with me in a suit, naked men, masked women in ball gowns, a big bondge and discipline orgy type of scene, beautifully shot.  Kind of Euro, fashiony, arty, J.C. Leyendecker but fetish.  A little bit more refined and emotional than what's typically on here.  It would have been kind of expensive but, with the submissive models wearing their own gear and if we kept a modern/postmodern/sort of 20's-30's tone to it, it would have been doable.  But.....we ran out of time and this would have been hard to organize.  But is that a legitimate excuse for not doing it?  No.  Should've done it.


*Leather Bar In Finland    (no, not literally shot in Finland; I'm just referring to a Tom of Finland theme......).  Lots of men (only men).  Me and a bunch of guys in leather and denim, orgy-ish.  Yes, an iteration of "Cruising", "Interior. Leather Bar.", 1970's hanky culture, etc.  Very Traditional Gay Leather.  People would have liked it, definitely.  Would've been difficult to organize (and, also, to keep everyone focused during the shoot itself, let's be honest).  The location, actually--believe it or not--, would have been an issue easier said than done.  Basically, it's been done before and others did it amazing, better than I could've pulled off for a photo shoot.  (but, still.....)  Perhaps a missed opportunity for a large group photo shoot.  If I had more time to pursue this concept, I would've, and done my own take on this familiar theme.


*Sports Center    Essentially, just bondage and discipline with some sweaty guys in jockstraps in a locker room and/or a gym.  Locker room fantasy archetype.  But I have no access to a locker room or gym to do a project of this kind (not surprisingly), therefore, this project didn't end up happening either.  This is one of those concepts that you have to have the right location/backdrop for.

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

learn by living


I'm corny, I admit it. 

I can appreciate those goofy/idealistic personal philosophy quote books garbage (and they are.....) as much as any other 21st century adult.  Coffee and self-examination:  eye-roll inducing, but enjoyable, right?  Sure.  A lot of guys secretly like that type of stuff even though they don't admit it so I'm not unusual in this sense.

But insight can be gained in all kinds of unusual ways!

BDSM--doing it, operating through it, planning it out, dealing with the granular details, dealing with submissives and other kinksters, etc.--has been extremely enlightening.

Sometimes deviously enlightening.  "Forbidden Knowledge"-level enlightening.  Priceless, actually.

I know that everyone comes to their own conclusions about things and processes things in their own individual ways.  That goes without saying.

But there are truths, that are pretty much self-evident, that can be reinforced by stumbling upon them in unexpected ways and in unexpected places (like leather dungeons, for example).

Here are some things that I've learned (or things that I already knew but were emphasized) through working for a decade as a professional BDSM Master.  A lot of them are obvious, universal, timeless, and sometimes easy to lose sight of.  Let's cover them regardless:

*Have a schedule, have a plan, have a point.  I've said it on this blog a thousand times but timing is extremely important.  How we complete a project, how we forge relationships, how what works one day doesn't necessarily work the next day,--even telling a joke--, timing rules our lives.  Whether we like it or not.

*People are sensitive.  Even the scariest, most stoic, hard-asses (as hard-asses portray themselves) are extremely fragile.  No, they don't always show it and, of course, we all bleed red but I'm referring more to secret emotional lives.  In BDSM, we deal with more emotional aspects of peoples lives than you may expect (more than I initially expected and, also, more than what submissives realize they're showing us sometimes).  Basically, give people a break when you can and you're able to.  Everyone is haunted, everyone is vulnerable.  I would like to say that it gets better as we get older but.....egh.....the more life experiences people pile up, the more complicated we all become.  Yes, you could genuinely say "enriched", sure, but it's not quite so simple.  Some people get stronger but
some people become more complicated.  For better or for worse.  No one is invincible, none of us avoid the mud puddles entirely, and everyone (men, I'm looking at you motherfuckers.....) is way, way more emotional than they let on.  Frigid, hard-ass people are fronting.  Ice is cold, hard, and transparent; people, on the other hand, are not.  Don't believe masks.

*Having a sense of humor--aka a serious sense of life perspective filtered through a lens of humor--clarifies everything and may just save your ass one day.  There is nothing silly or useless about humor.

*If you want to be a masochist, do it in the dungeon only.  That's what BDSM is for and it's a beautiful thing!  But DO NOT be a doormat, a push-over, or somebody's bitch in any other capacity but in the BDSM context (which is pretend, consensual, roleplay).  Some of you younger submissives reading this will be irritated by me saying this but, for cryin' out loud, don't pull that groveling shit within your real life.  Explore those impulses, those fantasies, in your bedroom or in your dungeon but don't mistake what works as a fetish scene for what works in typical society.  If you're a masochist in the dungeon, you can experience erotic transcendence.  But if you're a masochist during your day-to-day, expect your life to unravel and decay in terrifying, surprising, and sneaky ways that would make a horror movie look like a trip to the ice cream shop.  Always be respectful towards others while always sticking up for yourself.  Be your own best advocate.  True respect should always be an exchange.  Think of it as social hygiene.  Bowing to others in the dungeon:  Fine.  Bowing to others outside the dungeon:  Not allowed.

*Self-restraint is useful.  Whether you're a Dom or a sub.  Sometimes not saying anything is the best way to communicate a message.  Or....temporary silence is a nice holding tank until you decide the right thing to say.

*It's better to be exhausted sometimes--to get things done, to take care of business--than it is to be peaceful, relaxed, and lagging behind.  Sometimes you only have option A and option B.  Go with option A.

*Try turning off your brain, muffle your own self-experience, and see the world through a different vantage point from time to time.  Doms, listen to your subs and absorb their feelings.  Submissives, attempt imagining how your Dom is perceiving you.

*It's a jungle in there.  Everyone's inner fantasies are wild.  I believe.....I think.....that "vanilla" is a physical approach but it sure the fuck isn't how people fantasize.  People are dirty.  They're nasty.  Whether you want to take that as good news or bad news is up to you.  But if you ever think:  "So-and-so has freaky fantasies!  Ew!", just remember this:  Everybody has "sick", freaky fantasies.  And they're a lot darker, freakier, nastier, weirder, more confusing, and more bizarro than you could ever know.....  Pretending that anyone, whether it's you or someone you deem holy, is an exception is a big, ol' fib.  Don't bother deluding yourself.  I apologize if that makes you feel uncomfortable but oh well.

*If you get a good idea for something--a dungeon scene, a photo concept, an epiphany about a piece of gear or fetish clothing that would be perfect for you or a play partner, something BDSM-related, something completely removed from BDSM, whatever, anything--write it down or jot it into your phone.  Just in case you forget.  Ideas are occasionally fleeting and often golden.

*Adapt.  Try out new things because things change.  Surprise yourself and open yourself up to new experiences.  And you can do all of that with care and caution.  The world only spins in one direction and that direction is forward.  The past isn't anything but ancient history, whether it's yesterday or decades ago.  Move forward because you, literally, have no other option.  F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote:  "So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."  That's a beautiful line but you really need to turn the fucking boat around in the other direction, you know what I mean?  There you go.

Monday, July 17, 2017

In The Future!


Maybe, if BDSM continues to become more mainstream, they're going to start appointing a D or an s on everyone's State ID's.  D for Dominant, s for submissive.


(Okay, probably not.)

But, just in case, taking a highly scientifically-researched Buzzfeed quiz like this one could help you figure out which letter you should be marked with:

Are you more submissive or more Dominant?