Thursday, July 21, 2016

Balancing Act

I don't care what stories you may have heard out of someone's mouth, or what tales you've been reading online, no Dom or Dominatrix--no Master or Mistress--gets away with total, absolute cruelty towards a submissive.

Real submissives know this and by real submissives I'm referring to the ones that actually, physically participate in BDSM play not the ones who simply fantasize/talk/write about it.  I'm referring to the ones who do it.  The legit ones, not the talkers.  The ones who know what it feels like to be in leather or rubber or lycra bondage gear, the ones who've been brave enough to surrender to another man or woman taking on the role of Dominant.  The ones who've been bent over a spanking bench (or a bed, that works just fine), the ones who can truly recollect the different sensations involved in being bound to a St. Andrews Cross (for example).  The real submissives, not the fantasizers. 

Real submissives know that there are lines and there must be a degree of mutual respect between themselves and the Dom.  Yes, even in hardcore humiliation/degradation/pain play.  There must be lines.  There must be an aspect of consideration in play even if it's silent while the scene is in full swing.  But the understanding, and the care, must be there.

There are some people who mistakenly believe in the myth, and the value, of the relentless, vicious, out-of-control BDSM Dominant.  Don't bother.

Sociopaths aren't interesting.  They're a dime a dozen.  They're missing pieces from their puzzles.  They're stereotypes.  Cliches.  The world has a ton of them.

BDSM "Sadists"--the ones in the BDSM context--, the ones who do belong in dungeons, the ones who should be tying people up and "abusing" them (willingly on both sides, needless to say.....), are those who have a sense of understanding.  They know what's real and what's not real.  They know what's called for and they're familiar with that very specific, delicate boundary between what's right and what's wrong, what's fantasy and where those fantasies end.

The real Masters and Mistresses are the ones who are able to maintain some kind of a balance between "cruelty" and care/consideration.

If a prospective Master or Mistress doesn't have a grasp on that concept, if they don't get it, if that idea seems just too compromised--too unidealized--then they won't have submissives.  Not, at least, for any substantial amount of time. 

All Masters and Mistresses have to be careful, considerate people (even when they're pretending that they're not).  Of course.  That's rational.  That's reasonable.

The unstoppably mean, vile S&M Masters and Mistresses don't have submissives for a substantial amount of time.  Not in real life.  That's a fact.

Either find a realistic balance on how to treat people (or, preferably, have an understanding of that balance innately inside of you) or don't do BDSM.  It's very simple.

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

The Great Outdoors

Twisted Tryst just finished one Midwestern kink event but there's another one happening next month in Michigan.

It boils down to this:

outdoor camping + summer + people of all orientations + kink and BDSM

That should suit plenty of you.

Visit their website HERE for full information, registration details, rules, and everything else that piques your curiosity.

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Short Spank: Brush Strokes

BDSM is like painting.

You can't take any smacks/swipes/globs away once you add them to the scene.

Yes, you can cover them up, wipe them away, and move forward but what's now there is there or was there.  The moment happened.  Whether or not if it was a wonderful thing for you and your submissive(s) or if it was something regrettable.

Carefully add in what you want to add in.  It's best to do things a bit cautiously and have some kind of overall strategy....especially if you're the one holding the brush/whip.

Saturday, July 2, 2016

Exxxotic Destination

I know that plenty of people enjoy going to this--some of my friends have gone and really liked it but, I have to confess, I've never had a chance to go to this yet--so, in case some of you have seen ads for this or are interested in going to this.....

Every year there's an erotica convention (hooray for 21st century America!) in the Chicago area (Rosemont, technically) called the Exxxotica Expo.  This year it's taking place on the weekend of July 8th through the 10th.  There will be seminars, toys, products, adult film stars, and all kinds of good stuff.  Exxxotica Expo is primarily for the straight and bi and ladies-leaning crowd but I know that gay guys go too (who've told me that they've had a good time there) and I know that there's definitely some leather/BDSM presence and representation at the expo.

So the Exxxotica Expo is something kinky, interesting, and different going on in the Chicago area for those of you who are looking for an adventure.

Visit the Exxxotica Expo website for location, schedule, and all the details right HERE

Thursday, June 30, 2016

bonus shots, June 2016


Here are some new pics that we did featuring yours truly with a couple of slaves.  Special Thanks to Slave W and Slave G for being my submissives.  Slave X was behind the lens on some of the shots and, for the other ones, a timed camera and tripod did just fine.

The black and silver N2N singlet is a good go-to uniform for dungeon work.  To me, this one is even better than that other red one that I have.  It's practical, comfortable, breathes, and the colors are sporty yet give off a cartoon villain/bad guy vibe (in other words:  perfect).  If I can't figure out what to wear for a session, it's good to know that I can just grab that sometimes and not have to think about it.  Good, done, off we go.

I would like to get a haircut soon but the upcoming Summer 2016 Gallery--which we're going to start working on at the end of July--is sort of a beautiful, wicked horror/fantasy story meets Japanese anime meets "Bram Stoker's Dracula" meets fairy tale meets freaky Euro S&M film that you shouldn't be watching kind of a thing (you'll see what I mean later this summer....) so I think that I should stick with the longer hair until we finish off that project.  Vampires and gothicness and so on. (is gothicness even a word?  no.)  I need to look like an evil, dark king for that one so the hair needs to stay as is and keep on growin' in the meantime.  After that, I can go back to looking like Johnny America but not right now.  Gothicness for right now.

Again, thanks to my slave men for this random, why-the-fuck-not? photo shoot (we'll do another one soon, I promise).....

to Slave X:  The mosquitoes in the woods weren't that bad.  You'll be fine.

to Slave G:  I actually preferred the pics where you're in the boxer shorts instead of the blue jockstrap.  That surprised me too.  I thought that the boxer shorts might look stupid but--with the leather mitts that you have on--the image is cool, it's different, unexpected, and it works.  It's sorta cute/strange in a pajama party/bondage party kind of way.  I like it!

to Slave W:  Thanks for doing great as ever and your gear is awesome.  The lights made our scenes look "spooky" even though we did those shots at 3 pm on a sunny afternoon.  I'm always okay with spooky.  Plus, beating your ass never fails to make me happy.

a Tom of your very own

The good folks at Artsy are selling original Tom of Finland works from the 1960's so, for those of you out there who are superfans of Tom's creative output (which I know that plenty of you are.....), consider grabbing yourself a slice of erotic history.

Having a Tom in your collection would definitely add some legit spice to the inventory, that's for sure.....

Visit the Tom of Finland page at Artsy right HERE

Friday, June 24, 2016

unforgettable expression

There's an old expression that I came across the other day--it's either German or Russian; I've tried looking it up online and haven't had any luck finding its origin--that replaces the more common American expression for "carrot and stick".

"carrot and stick", in case you didn't know, refers to balancing/negotiating rewards with punishments.

This other expression, however, instead of "carrot and stick" is......

....."whip and cake".

 Or "cake and whip".

Same meaning but different choice of words and imagery.

I like this "whip and cake" better than "carrot and stick" even though "carrot and stick" is still pretty good but "whip and cake" is just a really, really good expression.

Perfect for BDSM.  "whip and cake", yes indeed.   hahaha

Monday, June 20, 2016


the longest day of the year

Thursday, June 9, 2016

Short Spank: Team Work

Remember, submissives......

Your Master or Mistress could tie you three ways to Sunday, beat you for an hour straight, and order you around until the morning comes but, if you're not putting your own amount of oomph and enthusiasm into the session, then you're doing yourself a disservice in the long run.

My slaves are really good about this sort of thing (thanks, my good men) but I was at a dungeon party recently and I saw a couple of extremely lazy slaves--not my slaves; other peoples slaves--barely following their Doms' orders while the Doms were doing all the heavy lifting.  BDSM, as you know, is a collaborative process.

Obviously we Doms are in charge of the gear, logistics, and orchestrating during a scene but some of you slave boys and girls have to make sure that you're putting in effort too.

Friday, May 27, 2016

Spring Gallery 2016

Photography by Little Baby Jesus and sockslave (with some additional work done by Mr. P.E.T).  Concept assistance and design assistance provided by Saber3Ernesto.  Thanks for your time and for being good sports, guys.

I, Master Aiden, am all the bad guys in these photos (needless to say).  Mr. P.E.T. is the submissive/"wayward" captive.

Here is our ridiculous set of photos for our Spring Gallery this year.  Enjoy!